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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say no?

21 replies

evilgdil · 06/04/2011 16:56

Dd is playing out the front with her 2 brothers. 2 kids from few houses up are out aswell. They have 3 friends, who i think are cousins over. The 3 children go to school and are friends with my 3. My 3 came in for a drink, and the 3 visiting friends also come in and ask for a drink. Fine. Then mine want something to eat, the other 3 also ask, i say no, go ask x, who they are visiting, x then comes out and says, why didnt you let them have something aswell? They are your childrens friends aswell. Yes they are. But they are not visiting us. Also the parent has gone in and told them they are busy and not to knock for 20 mins!

OP posts:

TheVisitor · 06/04/2011 16:57

I would have said no too.

hecate · 06/04/2011 16:58

Sorry, who is X? another child? an adult?

If child, then cheeky bugger, if an adult then that's bloody disgusting!

My reply would have been "I'm not running a bloody cafe or a soup kitchen. If they're hungry, they go where they're staying and eat."

Original poster

evilgdil · 06/04/2011 17:01

Sorry x was neighbour! Kid asked i said no. Neighbour moaned about it.

OP posts:

hecate · 06/04/2011 17:03

"I'm not running a bloody soup kitchen, you cheeky cow."

Unless she's the type to wrap dog crap in a newspaper, set fire to it and shove it through your letter box, in which case you may want to drop the cheeky cow bit )

AllGoodNamesGone · 06/04/2011 17:03

If you were giving your three a biscuit or some small snack then I'd have given the other three some too (though slightly through gritted teeth, I must confess, and would have tried to make sure it was something fairly cheap and easy). I wouldn't have made them a meal though.

FabbyChic · 06/04/2011 17:10

Id have said sorry haven't got any more.

Unless invited over for dinner or to my home, no child ever got anything off of me. Im a meanie!

Original poster

evilgdil · 06/04/2011 17:14

I did tell her that they were not my responsibility and if they were hungry she should feed them. If i had given those extra 3 would she have expected me to give her 2 something aswell? Mine were having a pack of mini cheddars if that makes a difference! Feeding am extra 5 kids would mean a full multi pack gone.

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 06/04/2011 17:21

if mine were having something like that while playing out - I'd have offered their friends some as well, so would any of my neighbours

if I didn't have enough I'd have said no to mine as well

MorticiaAddams · 06/04/2011 17:27

If they were in the house having a drink then I wouldn't have fed my own in front of them without offering them something. I'd have given them all something smaller or said no to my kids as I didn't have enough for everyone.

I think you were unreasonable to give a snack to some children, even though they are your own, and not others.

thumbwitch · 06/04/2011 17:30

I'd have given them a single biscuit each if that's what mine were having, but not a whole pack of things. However, I think I would have emptied 3 bags into a big bowl and told them all to share.

Your neighbour X, otoh, had a bloody cheek coming to "tell you off" about it!

YouaretooniceNOT · 06/04/2011 17:30

YADNBU!

You are not running a hotel and the X is Totally Being Unreasonable and taking the pee.

If i was you i would say that your children were staying indoors and allow them to play in the back garden on their own.

What are you a babysitting service too? grrrrr

fedupofnamechanging · 06/04/2011 17:32

I think I would have said that I didn't have enough for everyone or just offered them all a biscuit instead. I do agree with you though that it's not your responsibility to feed the neighbourhood kids and they should go home and badger their own parents for snacks.

gorionine · 06/04/2011 17:34

I would do as tabulahrasa but saying that, completely off for x to come and complain.

OliPolly · 06/04/2011 17:38

I would have given them some, not the whole packet

AllGoodNamesGone · 06/04/2011 17:42

I'd probably have told them to share the three packs of cheddars between them all.

Mine are trained not to ask for food (or now they are older, to start rooting in the cupboards themselves) when several of them are playing out as it can start to feel like you are feeding the whole town!

If thirsty, or friends ask for a drink, then they know to offer squash or water, not a can of pop or ice lolly and, if friends start saying they are hungry (and we've had a couple over the years who always seem to be "starving" and are definitely not being neglected at home) I'd give them a biscuit.

X was rude though.

Original poster

evilgdil · 06/04/2011 17:57

Dont think i made it clear, it was drink then back out, then mine came in again, got something then went out. So i didnt let them take it in front of the others.

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 06/04/2011 17:59

oh X was definitely rude, if you were one of my neighbours I wouldn't have come and complained to you

I would moan behind your back with the other neighbours though

gorionine · 06/04/2011 18:03

but, Evilgdil, if they go out with the packet it is quite obvious they will eat it in front of the others, much nicer to give them the packets and ask them to share.

PeterAndreForPM · 06/04/2011 18:05

once you start feeding and watering all the neighbourhood kids, it never ends, IME (tight cow here )

fedupofnamechanging · 06/04/2011 18:59

Having read your last post, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. It's not your responsibility to feed the neighbours kids. Does she regularly supply snacks to yours? If not, then she has no business getting funny about it.

Acanthus · 06/04/2011 19:00

Ha ha do you think they were trying for some Adult Time??

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