to think that not inviting anyones kids except your own to a wedding is a bit weird ?

[inbetweener]

So my sister is getting married. She has two kids aged 2 and 4. She tells me she is having a child free wedding. I have 3 kids which means getting someone to look after them for the day but thats ok, its up to her at the end of the day.

She then tells me her kids are still coming as she has no-one to look after them.

The reasons for her childfree wedding are and I quote " It's too expensive to cater for children at a wedding. Its going to cost about £100 minimum per person whether they are five months or a fully grown adult and in truth I don't like it when the parents don't drink and have a good time as they have to constantly chase after their children, plus then they leave early and the children spend most of the evening crying and being naughty because they are tired."

AND

"Plus it means I will have no screaming horrible noise during my amazing service"

I cant help feeling its a bit weird. I mean inviting no kids is fine but is it an all or nothing thing ?

I'm quite prepared to be told differently.

I cannot believe I am commenting on another child free wedding thread but hey.

The problem stems from people bundling all children in together. There seems to be a 'one in all in' mentality.

Of course her children should be at her wedding but why on earth should that mean she has to invite everyone else's children at £100 a pop. I think it gets especially silly (although doesn't apply in your case) if they don't even know your children that well. I have many friends who have barely met my children and, if any of them were to get married, I wouldn't expect my kids to be invited.

Also, I think that your parents getting married is quite a big deal and, if you are little, I would imagine you would want to be the star of the show, and not upstaged by a slightly cuter/funnier cousin.

Let her children be the only kids there.

Imagine not being invited to your own parents' wedding.

Now imagine not being invited to your aunt's wedding (especially if you're about 3 and won't remember).

Not remotely the same thing, now, is it? YABU, but then you know that really, don't you.

At the last two family weddings I went to (35 great grand children under 12, and counting) the happy couple insisted on babes in arms only, and provided child carers in a separate room throughout proceedings. Genius, I thought.

YABU to think why should your sisters kids be there.

YANBU to want a child free day if your own kids are not there. So drop plenty of hints that you are going to make the best of your kids free day and indulge in quite a few bevvies. So your sister will know you won't be available to keep an eye on her kids/put them to bed, etc..

YABU

Of course her own children should be attending her wedding. It would be weird if they weren't.

i'd just say sorry cant go

id never go to a family wedding where half the family are excluded

It's her choice, but I agree with other posters; don't under any circumstances get landed looking after her children when she has made you leave yours behind!

100gbp per person

Bloody hell!!

Well, it sounds as if the bride wouldn´t have her children there if she didn´t have to-OP-can you sort out childcare for her in that case?

I would have thought she'd at least want your children there for somebody to play with hers, it would keep them occupied and make life easier.

I've heard of some weddings having only family children due to numbers but never just their own.

It is her wedding though but I don't understand her.

I think YABU, AND I would OFFER to look after her kids. After all. I'd want the day to be special for my sister, and for her not to have to run off half way through the ceremony/speeches etc because her child needs seeing to. I can't believe someone wouldn't release her of that for one day.

I might even go one step further (for an incentive) and offer to have the kids over night.

It's her wedding, let it be special. YES gutting your kids can't attend, but not worth getting all gripey over...

You could always do the BIG GENEROUS offer (of over night care), on the proviso that your children attend, so as to make the overall arrangements easier.

Sure I want to enjoy the wedding, but it isn't YOURS to enjoy, and I am not sure I'd enjoy watching my sister struggling and merrily get drunk... and not feel a bit guilty. MAybe I'm a mug? Who knows. LOL

I think her reasons are perfectly valid and it is HER day so whAT if she wants her service to be amazing? Why shouldn't it be it is one of the biggest days of her life .
Of course her children will be there why wouldn't they be? Doesn't mean she has to have everyone elses as well and pay for their dinner.
I never understand why people are so precious about their children not being invited to adult events .

It's her choice.

It's your choice whether to attend.

Fwiw it pisses me off when people don't invite kids because they want guests to have fun and let their hair down. When I want to let my hair down it won't be at a wedding full of other peoples aunts and grandparents.

Other reasons for not inviting are okay

Yabu, you genuinely think they shouldn't have their own children there?

NB if a church wedding then no one can be excluded from the church bit

HTH

I must be 1 of the few people that wouldnt want to take my kids to a wedding so Im could have fun and not worry about looking after them, because thats what yo uwould end up doing all teh time with young kids, either that or let them run riot.

Im more amazed taht anyone would consider spending £100 per person tbh.

i had my own children at my wedding 2 years ago, plus step brother in-law's daughers because it was difficult for them to sort babysitters since they live a long way away, plus my best friend's small daughter who was my bridesmaid. so not at all 'all or nothing'.... as far as i know none of my guests were offended at not being asked to bring their children to an event which was totally uninteresting to children (registry office and lunch at a restaurant followed by lots of champagne back at our house)... seems to me like your sister is doing what suits her, which is entirely right given that it's her wedding not yours.