My DH used to be a very loving husband and dad, very hands on with the children, and we always had good times together. About 5 months ago, around November/December time, he suddenly started acting out of character, doing things like being in a bad mood for days. At Christmas, the children and I were all poorly with a stomach bug and he wouldn't look after any of us, he just stormed out. I was in bed for 2 days and had to literally stagger to the bathroom to get a glass of water as he wouldn't get me one.
He's been quite stressed with his work for a few months now (self employed but working on a contract), and in the past 3 months has said he's "feeling depressed". I have tried to be supportive, but he won't go to the doctor, nor will he go to see the counsellor that I sometimes see. I am understanding as I have had depression myself in the past, but we have 3 children and I feel like I'm a single parent, and that coupled with his attitude and refusal to help himself is making me run out of patience.
For example, every evening he has tea, dumps his plate on the worktop, and then goes and falls asleep on the sofa. He won't help out with the childrens' bathtimes, bedtimes etc. Last night I discovered DD1 had nits so I was nitcombing her and I asked him to read DD2 a bedtime story, and he just said "No". He won't do anything in the evening to help get ready for the next day, for example he won't wash up water bottles, or clean lunchboxes. Luckily DD1 (aged 12) will help with these things but it's not the point. Yesterday afternoon DD1 stayed after school for an activity and was planning on getting a later bus home. When she came out of the activity, the bus she tried to get on was full, and she would have had to wait another hour for the next one, so she called me to collect her (school is 5 miles away). I was about to start tea and asked DH if he wanted to start tea or collect DD and he said he wouldnt' do either. Then he went off to watch sport on TV. I then got back and made tea for the children, and he made himself a ready meal. I think he thinks he can just sort himself out and not anyone else and that if he just caters for himself it absolves him from doing anything else to help out.
And then he keeps doing a mimicking thing, for example the other day we were in Tesco and he asked he which cat food I wanted and I said "I think we'll have this one shall we?" and he then mimicked it back in a piss-taking voice. He does this all the time. If I'm trying to have a conversation with him he ignores it and carries on talking about something else if he doesn't want to talk to me.
I have to add, he does have times where he's "normal" but I feel that I'm living with a stranger these days. I know everything seems small but added together it's upsetting me and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells :-(