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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have named and shamed me ex via FB?

23 replies

MyExIsALoser · 05/04/2011 19:19

Ok so probably not the most mature thing I could do but I am sick fucking death of him swanning around playing father of the year with the three brats he spawned with his bitch second wife when he cant be bothered with the one he already had. She was instrumental in him dumping dd, she hated the fact that seeing DD meant he had to see me.

He owes me thousands in maintenance and I found out today that he has managed to dodge paying anything AGAIN. He got in touch last year saying he regretted "letting her go from his life" aka ignoring her existence for 10 years, but at no point before or since has he coughed up moneywise to prove this new commitment to her. She said that she didnt want to see him and since then he seems to have gotten worse if anything. The CSA are going through hoops to try and get money from him, I have no beef with them, but he always seems to be one step ahead.

So I named and shamed him on FB and have made it quite clear that Mr Wonderful hasnt paid a penny towards her upkeep, hasnt been in touch since the half hearted email last year and was even cruel enough to send a very touching picture of him cradling his newborn with the email.

So AIBU or should I have kept my mouth shut and put up with it...AGAIN?

DD isnt on FB btw

OP posts:
lifechanger · 05/04/2011 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MyExIsALoser · 05/04/2011 19:23

I didnt mention his other children at all, I would never stoop to that no matter what the provocation. It isnt their fault that their father is a loser Angry

OP posts:
ohdoone · 05/04/2011 19:24

How did you name and shame him? Did you just put something like ' my ex is a twat because yada yada...'.

I don't think yabu but its a bit naff. However I can't abide men that go round sperminating women but doing nothing to help after. Your daughters better off not wanting to see him- hes a crap example of a father.

If he's emailed then you must have his email address, can you send him an email and ask where the money is?

Original poster
MyExIsALoser · 05/04/2011 19:24

As for what it would achieve....nothing probably but it has made me feel temporarily better!

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 05/04/2011 19:26

I think you just gave them another stick to beat you with, sorry

You should have resisted the temptation, IMO

Have it out face to face if you must, but not in public

it is crap, and pointless

Original poster
MyExIsALoser · 05/04/2011 19:26

Ohdoone, i have done and got no reply or acknowledgment. I didnt say what he wanted me to say when he got in touch because DD didnt want to see him, so he has gone back to pretending we dont exist.

He got in touch with me via FB and that is the only contact there has been as he wont give me his email address (or home address, phone number etc)

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 05/04/2011 19:26

I have two children who have not been maintained, however my view has always been I didn't have children so someone else even if it is their father could contribute to their upkeep. The kids are mine and I look after them and make sure they are okay, I don't need someone else to do it.

Your daughter does not have a problem she has let him go, maybe you should to.

She is your responsibility well be responsible and act like an adult and not a childish idiot with your FB posts.

Newgolddream · 05/04/2011 19:27

I can totally see why you are angry - but why call his children brats on here?

Original poster
MyExIsALoser · 05/04/2011 19:27

Peter, I know what you mean about resisting temptation but I dont see how it is another stick to beat me with. There is no contact, no money, no nothing. How can me posting that make him behave any worse?!

OP posts:
JoBettany · 05/04/2011 19:27

A bit Jeremy Kyle for me.

You fit in well here though.

Changing2011 · 05/04/2011 19:28

have a Brew JK is now available on ITV PLayer.

squeakytoy · 05/04/2011 19:28

the "spawned brats" are also her half siblings, who one day may want a relationship with her, (none of this is the childrens fault).

ohdoone · 05/04/2011 19:30

I don't think it matters shes called them brats, shes just ranting shes not called the kids up and said your 'horrid brats' she just venting. I doubt the kids are on here reading it.

Original poster
MyExIsALoser · 05/04/2011 19:30

NGD, for the same reason that some people call people who are not cunts, cunts on here! Because i am angry.

And as for not expecting their father to contribute to their upkeep, why the hell not?! He has a responsibility to her and should damn well step up!

OP posts:
ohdoone · 05/04/2011 19:31

Oh and if they are- 'your dads a tight tosser, don't grow up to be like him'. (grin)

Changing2011 · 05/04/2011 19:32

he really should have put something on the end of it sigh

ohdoone · 05/04/2011 19:33

Lets bring Graham out...

Changing2011 · 05/04/2011 19:35

Graham is too busy playing WOW in his boxers, he needs to accept he's got a problem....

adamschic · 05/04/2011 19:36

There are lots of children growing up estranged from their bio dads who are not maintened by them either. Mine included, well apart from a pittance forced out of him by the CSA. I would have some dignity and keep yourself and your DD away from him.

Is he and anyone who knows him likely to read your fb rant? If not, no harm done, if so then perhaps he deserves it. It's enlightening and a relief when you let the anger go, hope you can find the strength to do that.

beesimo · 05/04/2011 19:36

You have put the fact he hasn't paid maintence into the public arena, fine the only people who say let sleeping dogs lie are usually dirty dogs themselves.

BUT those facts are now public knowledge and you have no idea wether it will result in your daughter being hurt and upset by other people knowing her D dumped her. It is about her and her Ds future relationship not just next week but in ten years time. Because what ever happens they are related by blood and that 'tie' will always be there.

I think you are within your 'rights' to do it but be careful it dosen't bite you on the bum. You sound very bitter OP don't let it bring your DD down try and say 'well DD we're doing fine on our own hes the loser because he hasn't got his lovely DD in his life'

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 05/04/2011 19:39

JK is on ITV player now, eh?

Seabright · 05/04/2011 19:47

I can understand why you did it, although whether or not it was a good idea was another matter. Sometimes, you just need to vent, and I guess this was one of those times.

GloriaSmut · 05/04/2011 19:55

Not a good idea. You've now sunk to the very level that you accuse your ex of occupying.

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