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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that £250 is a bit steep for a hen night?

45 replies

jinxediam · 05/04/2011 17:07

I agreed to go to my friends friend night and now her friend has contacted us all to give details of the itinery and i'm a bit at the cost!!! Since when did hen nights get so expensive??

I think i'm the only one with DC's so maybe i'm a bit more credit crunched then most but even so I am faily speechless at the cost. Its all been booked so I feel bad about pulling out yet this is way out of my budget. AIBU to feel like cancelling or is this how much hen nights cost these days?

OP posts:

Original poster

jinxediam · 05/04/2011 18:18

In fact if I look at my emails from her the cost is £150 which I thought was steep but just about do-able...bit of a difference

OP posts:

booandbump · 05/04/2011 18:21

Bloody Hell!! YANBU.

My hen night was a meal and a few drinks.

MooMooFarm · 05/04/2011 18:27

It's a load of poop that hen nights have to be expensive - mine was a meal out & clubbing after - and some that didn't want to spend too much met us after the meal just for the clubbing bit. We had a limo to collect everyone but since that was my idea and it was my hen night, I paid for that - I don't think you should have to chip in on that kind of thing anyway!

kerala · 05/04/2011 18:37

We are charging £140 for my sisters - that includes 2 nights away in a gorgeous house and all food and entertainment so everything basically.

It does annoy me when people bitch about the cost though. If you cant afford graciously decline and dont go the organisers/bride will understand. What is bloody annoying is being told the cost, agreeing to go, then whining, squirming and bitching about it. Woman up!

Original poster

jinxediam · 05/04/2011 18:40

erm i think £150 is a tad different to £250.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 05/04/2011 18:42

Cancel. Tell her you can't afford it.

That's ridiculous. I'm shocked people actually think others give such a toss they're getting married.

kerala · 05/04/2011 18:44

Fine just say you wont go as you cant afford it simple as that surely?

TiggyD · 05/04/2011 18:47

Tell her you'll go to the hen night for her next wedding.

ednurse · 05/04/2011 18:50

It's madness, my last one was 2 nights in Dublin. So two nights at the hotel was around £120 each, flights £35 (we live near Stansted, so Ryanair it is!), £250 spending plus another £30 for the airport drinks/magazines/sweets/food. £10 for minibus to and back to the airport oh and another £20 each for airport travel the other end!

chasingrainbows · 05/04/2011 18:51

I pulled out of a good friends hen weekend as it morphed from a weekend away to five nights on a stellios easycruise. Wasn't so much the cash (though it was a concern) but I have never spent so long away from dc. Dc3 was one at time. If you can't afford it or are otherwise disinclined, just say so.

BringBackGoingForGold · 05/04/2011 18:55

Of course YANBU. £150 to £250 is a HUGE jump. A good friend will understand. As someone else suggested, can you go to a bit of it e.g. the meal or the club for a few drinks? Explain that of course you want to spend the time with her, the cost of the whole thing has just come out at a lot more than you can afford.

lololizzy · 05/04/2011 19:33

i must've spent about a grand on my friend's wedding all in all (i was bridesmaid) and it crippled me as i'd just lost job and was temping part time and had big rent etc. She divorced two years later

plupedantic · 06/04/2011 09:59

Well, it's quite enough more than they told you, so they have only themselves to blame for your refusal. You are off the hook in the eyes of many of us, at least!

BluddyMoFo · 06/04/2011 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lucyinthepie · 06/04/2011 10:15

I would pull out and I wouldn't feel guilty. It was pretty stupid to book something up that is this expensive without warning people of the cost.

BTSynergy · 06/04/2011 10:27

I've never particuarly liked the idea of hen/stag parties/weekends etc. It just seems to rude to set up an expensive evening/weekend that people feel obliged to go to rather than have any proper choice. I guess that depends very much upon the dynamics of the bride's immediate friends though - I am sure there will be groups of hens who all really want to do it. I've been to one 'big' hen-do and pretended....

It is lovely to go away/have a night out with friends but when things are arranged with no special occasion there is no obligation at all or any feeling of letting anyone down.

I admit I do get quite resentful about any obligation. Even if it is something I would normally really want to do - add and obligation to it and it immediately loses its shine!

Just seems to be yet another item on the check-list wedding for that all bride and groomzillas must have to made their 'perfect' day/weekend/week/year.

YANBU!

theborrower · 06/04/2011 11:22

YANBU. I think it's rude to expect people to fork out loads of money for hen/stag weekends, particularly if they've not been upfront about the cost at the start. Like another poster said, what's wrong with dinner/drinks/clubbing?

Similar thing happened to me a few years ago - a good friend invited me to a weekend away thing. It wasn't actually too expensive but money was really tight at that point and I had to say No. However, she had another hen night/barbeque thing at her house for everyone (including others that couldn't go away/had DCs etc) which was lovely, and a great idea I thought.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 06/04/2011 11:32

I just went to the pub and drank lots of bee with my friends. Don't see owt wrong with that!

gkys · 06/04/2011 11:56

i couldn't justify it to be honest its more than my easter fun budget for my three ds, think the organiser may have gone a bit ott xx

Stangirl · 06/04/2011 13:17

I think that's a huge amount for one night and a complete ripoff. I have spent hundreds on 2 particular hen dos but one was a long weekend in Amsterdam and the other backstage passes for the Glastonbury Festival - both with former clubbing friends who wanted to relive a bit of their mis-spent youth. I think the most I've spent in a one night hen was around £100 (in London, share of limo hire, share of strippergram, cheap meal, club, lots of booze and all night drinking session at mate's house afterwards)

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