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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS tripped over on purpose - should the tripper pay for new unform?

46 replies

bonkers20 · 05/04/2011 11:42

My son was tripped over at school on purpose. His teacher has spoken to the boy in question so we know it's true.

Apart from being badly hurt, a pair of trousers and a shirt were torn beyond repair. Would it be unreasonable for me to ask DSs class teacher to ask the tripper to pay for the uniform?

OP posts:

Rhinestone · 05/04/2011 13:18

I think it's perfectly reasonable. "You broke it, you pay for it." I would approach the parents and explain that you don't expect to be out of pocket due to the actions of their little shit child.

Ingles2 · 05/04/2011 13:27

I agree with Rabbit... I would want to replace... as would my sons if they caused the damage.
I don't think you can go through the school though, you'd have to be brave and ask the other parent to replace them yourself.

nethunsreject · 05/04/2011 13:28

Nah, you can't expect it to be replaced.

If I was the other parent, I would offer though.

FreudianSlippery · 05/04/2011 13:30

If my child did something like that I'd offer to replace the uniform. But I would be surprised if the other parent approached me directly. Could you just make sure the school have informed the child's parents about the extent of the injury and damage, and see what they say?

turdass · 05/04/2011 13:32

I know how you feel OP. My Ds came home yesterday with huge black scribbles of marker pen all over the entire back of his sweatshirt. Ds and his friend told me that a girl in the class did it and was told off for it. That's all very well but it's still me who has to fork out for a new sweatshirt. Grr! I am feeling your pain!

BTW i don't know this child (DS is in reception) or her parents so would not think about getting them to pay for a new sweatshirt but really they ought to be responsible.

ragged · 05/04/2011 13:39

No way the other parent is going to even know about the ruined uniform, not in detail. They won't even be told which child their child tripped up. They'll be told "There were several incidents of rough play" and given only the most generalised details. No names, for sure.

Was OP told the name of the tripper, or did your child tell you, OP?

Just how expensive were these items? I can buy brand new trousers & a shirt for about a fiver, and the same items 2nd hand for under 3 quid (maybe under 2 quid). So not exactly breaking the bank...

grovel · 05/04/2011 13:48

I'm with RJRabbit on this.

Fimbo · 05/04/2011 13:48

You should also question why they were playing football on concrete. Bloody stupid imo just waiting for an accident to happen. I work in a school and the dc are only allowed to play football on grass and when it is dry enough, there are plenty of tripping accidents (accidently not deliberate).

TheVisitor · 05/04/2011 13:54

If an item is damaged through deliberate behaviour of the child, then damn right it should be paid for. Might make the parents realise how out of hand their little darling lad has got. My son had his packed lunch wrecked by two boys who thought it would be funny to chuck his bag around the changing rooms. They had to pay up for the money I had to pay so he could have lunch in the canteen.

nagynolonger · 05/04/2011 13:55

It is annoying but it is the same as when they leave their PE kit on the school bus or someone steals their pencil case. Fairness doesn't come into it.

I would expect the school to punish the child but not any £s. We had £300 instrument damaged on the school bus. The school delt with it and we got apology from the child and parents who insisted it was an accident.

MadamDeathstare · 05/04/2011 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ragged · 05/04/2011 14:06

I don't think the school will see it's role as a mediator between one party claiming damages from another. I'd be very surprised if they wanted to get involved that way.

How old are the boys involved, the tripped and the tripper?

FATFATFATTY · 05/04/2011 14:18

Why don't you ask the school if there is lost property available to replace items if it is financially difficult for you.

Parmallama · 05/04/2011 14:24

Yes it's unreasonable...

Have to say that the trousers and shirt must have been pretty poor quality to have ripped beyond repair.

They can be replaced very cheaply I'd have thought...tesco do cheap clothing.

Original poster

bonkers20 · 05/04/2011 14:33

It's not the cost of replacing, it's the principal of the matter.

Shirts were M&S and trousers from the uniform supplier as they are a specific charcoal grey. The trip was the problem not the quality of the uniform.

If a fall is enough to break skin then it's probably enough to tear clothing...no?

IMO, if any fabric is ripped and torn right though it's pretty hard to repair nicely.

The tripper is year 9 (so 13-14) and the trippee year 7 (he's 12).

OP posts:

vess · 05/04/2011 14:37

If he was playing football he hould have just as easily tripped up by himself and ripped his clothes - it happens to ds a lot!

The behaviour of the other child should be dealt with. Not much you can do about the clothes, short of telling him not to play football at break time in his school uniform.

ragged · 05/04/2011 14:39

For me the cost and ages are very relevant. You'd be U to be asking for replacements of something that only cost 2 quid to start with, and was damaged by a 6yo. But given the specifics you've said:
I think it'd be reasonable to tell the school that you'd like the tripper to pay for the damage. They may fob you off, but I could perfectly understand you asking. And the parents may be nutjobs you wish you never tried to communicate with, it's a risk you'd be taking by pursuing this.

I still bet the parents of the Tripper know NOTHING about the incident, btw, school just won't have told them specifics.

Parmallama · 05/04/2011 15:08

I can imagine that parents will (in future) have to sign a disclaimer before their child starts a school...saying that if their childs property is damaged or stolen whilst on the premises they cannot claim.

We are getting too americanised over here...wanting to make a claim for everything it seems and those ads don't help.

Things happen...the child who tripped the other up could be made to contribute his pocket money to pay for the other childs clothes...but will he resent that? Is it worth falling out with the parents over...and potentially other parents?

As this is an isolated incident (?) this time I would let it go...

Parmallama · 05/04/2011 15:09

And of course there is a vast difference in tearing skin and tearing clothes........

bubblecoral · 05/04/2011 15:19

I would ask the school for the parents contact details and try and stump up the courage to call them and ask them to pay. It's not fair to ask the school to do it imo, even though they are technically responsible as they were in charge at the time.

But I agree that the child's parents should be made to pay. At the very least it would piss the parents off enough for them to hopefully give their child a talking too and deduct pocket money or something. Otherwise this child is not facing the consequences of his actions. He's been 'talked to'. So what? He probably forgot about it the second it was over. If he has to go without something to replace what he ruined, he might think twice before tripping someone over next time.

Fimbo · 05/04/2011 15:46

The school will not be allowed to give out the parents contact details.

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