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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to pay for the new adjoining fence?

25 replies

Stangirl · 05/04/2011 09:02

I live in a terraced house with nice neighbours either side. We don't really know each other but they're never any bother. One side's neighbours popped round about 3 weeks ago and said they wanted to do up their garden and raise the height of the fence adjoining our side. Would we pay/contribute? We explained that in theory we would want the fence raised but as I am pregnant we have a lot of upcoming financial pressures and priorities that would take precedent (bigger car, double buggy, re-doing the cracked and uneven concrete surface of the patio so toddlers won't fall over etc etc). We would however consider any quotes they had in.

They emailed the quotes the following week to my DP who was in rural France and unable to access his email. When he returned to the UK they had emailed again saying the work would start on Tuesday - this was Sunday. We emailed saying we had not had time to look at the plans/quote and still had the same financial considerations. On Monday (when we were both at work) we received an email saying the work had already been done. Now - the fences look nice but it just isn't a priority for our money. The £300 or so they wanted for our contribution is better spent on a buggy. I am also cross that we didn't get to approve the look of the fences. My position is we offer to pay nothing. My DP thinks we should offer something just to be neighbourly - I think he's a fool. AIBU or is he?

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 05/04/2011 09:06

Is it your fence or theirs?

If theirs, there is no reason to pay as it will mean that you have a side and that could require replacing in the future.

KatieMiddleton · 05/04/2011 09:09

Who owns the fence?

I think as you didn't agree it and they went ahead without your consent they should pay the whole lot because either they own the fence so it's their responsibility to pay for any work on it, or you do in which case they have just committed criminal damage and trespass (or whatever) and you should agree not to sue in lieu of payment.

FER1 · 05/04/2011 09:11

He's not being unreasonable (can understand him wanting to keep the peace), and nor are you. Your neighbours on the other hand definitely are.

If the fence wasn't in disrepair and you said you weren't necessarily going to contribute but they went ahead anyway, purely for what sounds like cosmetic purposes then you are under no obligation.

Just email them (or talk to them) and say 'as we mentioned a couple of times, we aren't in the financial position to contribute due to higher priority costs. We did agree to look at the quotes but didn't get the chance to before you went ahead and had the work done and because the fence was in okay repair in the first place we just don't think our money is best spent here.'

By the way, I also think it doesn't matter who'se fence it is in this case (as in who has token responsibilitiy for it) - they wanted the work done off their own bat so they pay for it.

cazza40 · 05/04/2011 09:12

Don't pay them anything ! They took it upon themselves to do the work. They sound a bit rude to be honest.

thorahird · 05/04/2011 09:13

They didn,t even wait for you to say you agreed to the price there is no way i,d pay its not like you were planning on getting it done,i think they are really out of order,sod being neighbourly you have more important things to spend your money on

Skinit · 05/04/2011 09:17

He doesn't' have to pay...it was their choice. The fence wasn't damaged in any way. We have shared fences and the ide is that if they get damaged then we go halves....when my landlord decided to replace the lot he never asked the neighbours to chip in...it was only cosmetic.

Original poster

Stangirl · 05/04/2011 09:17

Thank you all for your advice so far - it seems to chime with my thinking. I keep telling DP that if he wants to waste money he can use his own and not our joint account. He works in the private sector and negotiates for a living whereas I work in the supposedly wasteful public sector. I do wonder sometimes if I'm in the wrong job....

OP posts:

AKMD · 05/04/2011 09:21

YANBU. If your neighbours went ahead without your input anyway then they obviously weren't too fussed whether you chipped in or not. If they do absolutely want you to chip in then they are being rude.

Maryz · 05/04/2011 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grovel · 05/04/2011 09:29

I'd pay them a pound a week for 6 years.

hecate · 05/04/2011 09:33

Why on earth did you not tell them a clear no? uming and ahing left room for confusion. Explaining that in theory we want the fence raised is not a no.
Will you contribute to the fence?
No.

In your shoes, I'd be saying clearly "I did not agree to this. I did not agree with you for this work to go ahead. You went ahead without my agreement. I have no intention of paying. You had no right to assume my agreement. I feel you disregarded my stance on this and are, in effect, trying to bully me into paying for your fence."

susall · 05/04/2011 09:41

YANBU to pay nothing as you did not agree to the work being done but they went ahead anyway. Stand your ground, they are in the wrong here.
You are lucky they even asked you, our neighbour didn't when she put up a six foot fence with virtually no space between slats. We cant do sod all about it as she put it fully on her side, posts and all. Its the wrong way round, so my dad says, as the posts should face her side so not only do we get very little sun in our back garden, except the summer, we have to look at the ugly fence posts whose concrete has killed off everything except grass we have tried to plant there.

grovel · 05/04/2011 09:45

susall, get your own back. Freeze some weedkiller in an ice tray (cubes). Late one (summer) night lob them onto your neighbour's lawn randomly. They'll never guess how the dead patches happened but they'll be mightily pissed off.

fedupofnamechanging · 05/04/2011 09:47

I am another one saying no, you should not pay for this fence. They wanted it, and they did it without getting your agreement. Why should you pay for their choice?

LaurieFairyCake · 05/04/2011 09:47

Grovell, that's horrible.

Chandon · 05/04/2011 09:54

"clever" idea Laurie, only that you could end up killing someone, say, when your DP mixes a visitor a G&T, and puts in the wrong ice cubes!

sounds like a midsomer story!

YellowDinosaur · 05/04/2011 09:57

pmsl grovel!!! We only have nice neighbours but will store this one up for the future!

Didn't you suggest putting a bell on an 89 year old man on the cat / bell collar thread too

Maryz · 05/04/2011 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IreneHeron · 05/04/2011 14:56

If it was your fence, they should have asked you and it would have been up to you to replace it if it wasn't functioning as an adequate boundary. If it is their fence then they pay, simple. Your deeds should say whose fence it is, or as a rule of thumb you put the fence posts on the side who owns the fence so the nice side of the fence usually faces the neighbour's house.

There are laws on boundaries to stop disputes like this.

alemci · 05/04/2011 15:03

We had to replace our fence on the left of our property and paid but I believe the one to the right is the responsibility of the other neighbour. like Irene says check your deeds. you shoud not pay if it is their fence.

carat · 05/04/2011 15:09

A few days is not long enough to consider such a sum of money. You did not agree to this so they shall have to cover the costs.

If you bump into them, I'd be lovely, civil and carry on as normal. You've done nothing wrong and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Parmallama · 05/04/2011 15:15

They should not have carried out the work without your consent. You are not obliged to pay anything.

However, if you like what they have done...as a gesture of goodwill you could offer to pay a contribution (whatever you think reasonable) when you have the money...
In order to keep the peace.

But again...you are not obliged.

QuintessentialShadows · 05/04/2011 15:21

I agree you should check your deeds to see who owns the fence. However, the rule is usually that the post should be on the owners side, so if they own the fence, the posts should be put on their side, so YOU get the "nice" side. Have they done this?

TandB · 05/04/2011 15:29

Everyone seems to be assuming the neighbours are being demanding but the OP doesn't actually say they are asking for anything now, just that her husband wants to offer something.

It sounds to me as though they asked, you dithered, they asked again and then went ahead and did it anyway at their own expense.

If they do ask for a contribution then you are within your rights to say no, although it may cause a bit of hard feeling as they are likely to be thinking "well you did say you wanted the fence raised so now you've got what you want without paying for it" but they should have waited if they expected you to pay something.

If they don't ask then I wouldn't make it into a big issue.

bubblecoral · 05/04/2011 15:37

I wouldn't give them a penny, your DH is being a pushover. It's not like you ever spend any time with them, what peace is there to keep?

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