to be totally dreading trying to find a nanny for x2 ds

[cityangel]

Have 2 boys under 3 & they are massively keeping me on my toes. For financial reasons I am returning to work. DS1 went to nursery but now needs picking up from pre-school.

I am only 2 weeks into to looking at what's involved and am dreading it. All the safety, v tax, v potential nanny maternity leave.

I had a personal referral but am I meant to overlook the fact that she is 2 years post marriage, likely to have kids soon and for religious reasons wouldn't be about to babysit.

I only ever hear horror stories and despite meeting nice nannies I worry that my chances of finding one are low. Am I being unreasonable?

I'm not sure I follow, zukiecat. The OP has financial commitments, perhaps a mortgage? that require her to return to work. If she goes back to work, she'll need someone to look after the children. The extra salary will thus need to pay for childcare as well as the financial commitments that require her to return to work.

Same as if the OP had put both children in nursery, but possibly cheaper.

Does that help?

It'll be okay. You can outsource the tax/NI to a payroll company and just pay what they say when they say.

Safety you just need to check refs and qualifications carefully - that's all you can do with any form of childcare - and make it clear what your expectations are re: child safety.

ML not much you can do! But it won't cost you extra as SMP is reclaimable at 104.5% and very often nannies can help find their maternity cover.

What about a childminder? No tax, OFSTED inspected (although that's not an ironclad guarantee).

Lots if helpful advice in CMs, nannies and au pairs if you've not been there already but a recommendation is good!

What sort of religion stops you from babysitting?

I feel for you OP. I'm looking into a nanny share at the moment as not sure we're going to get a nursery place. Seems like lots to sort out - tax, holidays etc.

What about a childminder? Seems more straightforward!

Employing a nanny is daunting, but once you've sorted out all the paperwork, found someone and she has settled in, you'll be so glad you did it. It makes life about a hundred times easier!

We paid a company called Nanny Tax to sort out all the tax stuff, and got a standard contract off the internet and then tweaked it to suit us. I interviewed 5 people. Two were completely unsuitable, two were OK and one was lovely (although I was still very nervous about the whole thing). We gave her a four week trial and then employed her officially when that went well.

She was live-out, and worked 7.45am-6.30pm. I cannot tell you how much stress it saved us (mainly me!) knowing ach moring that she would arrived cheerfully at 7.45 and get stuck into getting the kids ready. It was also lovely to know that by the time I arrived home at 6pm the kids would ne fed, washed and in PJs and that hour before bedtime could be spent really enjoying my children, reading stories and relaxing together.

There is also the other stuff nanniesdo that childminders don't. Our nanny tidied away toys at the end of the day, did the kids washing and put their clothes away and did foid shopping for me when required.

I changed jobs and we can no longer afford a nanny - if I could have our lovey nanny back, I would jump at the chance!

Yes, what religion prevents babysitting?

If she is Jewish then she cant work on the Sabbath, which could be what the OP means.

I dont have a Nanny but some friends do and they outsource the pay/tax thing too and have said how much easier it is than when they did it themselves.

We employed out nanny for 8 years and are still friends. I found her through an agency, interviewed about four women, and she was our stand out choice. Kind, down to earth, very practical and the DC adored her. I followed up her refs and was reassured by the enthusiastic responses.

Our accountant took care of her tax, and we just agreed holidays and sick pay terms etc and used a standard contract supplied by the agency.

I used to leave for work at 8.50am and come home about 6.45pm to a lovely calm house and two very happy DC. She would also cook all their meals, do all their washing and keep their rooms tidy and babysit one night per week. Twas bliss. When she was ill, usually one of her nanny friends could step in.
I think a good nanny has many benefits over nursery and childminder when DC are small. It's more complicated when they get older. We arranged a nanny share once both mine were at school full time, which worked well but was slightly more complicated for holidays etc.

We found a great nanny through Tinies agency (they are nationwide). So all I had to do was do some interviews and then amend their standard contract.

We also use Nannytax, which took forever to set up, and we've had some initial hiccups with Nannytax, now seems to be working OK.

It is worth it in the end, if you find a good nanny.

I also used an agency to find a nanny when my DDs were similar age. We found an absolute star of a nanny. She stayed with us until DD1 started school, when she moved away to get married.

Our nanny lived out, worked 8 - 6ish. She drove and had her own car, which was a big plus for me. She loved my girls and took great care of them. And they loved her dearly too. That, and the convenience involved in her coming to our home, made life much easier for our family.

there is a fantastic nanny agancy called Pumpkins, it is run by a lovely trustworthy lady called Jane who has two children of her own and has been a nanny herself in the past so she really knows what it is all about. she will be able to guide you through the ups and downs.

go on which religion bans babysitting?

there again how can an under 3 go to pre-school?

Is that basically a morning only free nursery place?