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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

We may lose our home.

42 replies

catnao · 04/04/2011 22:51

House riddled with wood worm. Living room floor collasped. Landlord says we may have to move out as " I am sick of this rubbish investment". Very sad. I love this village, have made lots of friends and son meant to start (very good) high school in September.

He only has to give us 2 months notice to quit.

I can't drive and don't want to go.

Damn my honesty. :(

OP posts:

LeonardNimoy · 05/04/2011 00:24

As long as there is some public transport

MorticiaAddams · 05/04/2011 01:23

Thingumy I think killing people is a bit drastic don't you?

If you read my post properly it was about people who don't drive and then moan about not being able to get anywhere not just people who don't drive.

Lucyinthepie · 05/04/2011 08:29

I think you are in danger of letting negativity overtake you, and any solution suggested you will turn down.

You can investigate buying the house, after finding out how much it will cost to put right. Speak to a mortgage broker to find out what the chances are of getting finance.
You can start looking for alternative rented accommodation now. It's pretty stupid to just throw your hands up and decide that there are no rented properties in the area without even looking. Even a notice in local shop windows might find something, as well as the usual enquiries with letting agents.
As said above, you could learn to drive, then at least you would have more flexibility on transport.

I'm sure this isn't a black and white "Oh dear, if we lose this house we have to go and live in inner city hell", put yourself out a bit and find somewhere that isn't in the middle of the city.

cory · 05/04/2011 08:47

There can be excellent reasons why people do not drive: some people really should not. I'm one of them- no 3 D vision and absolutely hopeless at judging distances. But obviously hard for other people to accept, as it's not a real disability I can wave in their faces: it's just that I've had enough near misses, on foot and on bikes, to know that I'm someone who should stay on the pavement. I do sometimes feel silly when people tell me that "of course you could drive, you're just being precious". But was confirmed in my views last week when dd's disabled transport driver- another one who should not be on the roads- crashed into the school gates 4 times and then went straight into the headteacher's car. Dd has been saying for a long time that he shouldn't be driving.

As for the OP, of course she was having a rant and a moan and a doom-and-gloom moment- don't we all from time to time? I expect she will snap out of it eventually and then be able to take on board some of the excellent advice in previous posts.

MorticiaAddams · 05/04/2011 08:53

OK Cory, I'll change that to people who choose not to learn to drive. I didn't mean anybody that couldn't but I didn't think it necessary to write an essay to make a small point.

I don't know the OP so don't know whether she'll snap out of it but have been around the forums for years and there are many people who are incredibly negative but always find an excuse not to do any suggestions people make. They don't seem to want to make any compromises or effort and the OP struck me as one of these people. I can only judge the situation based on the information she has given here.

cory · 05/04/2011 09:17

Thanks for that, Morticia ; my problem is that if you are not registered disabled it's very hard to get others to accept that you just can't drive.
Ime there is usually some reason in our car-orientated society why someone doesn't drive: either they do have some minor physical problem or they are nervous/depressed or they are short of cash for driving lessons (we really noticed the crunch when dh took his licence) or they have a very negative partner who daunts their confidence or they have strong environmentalist reasons. Some of these things can be overcome (nerves can be treated, partners can be kicked out), others can't.

I get what you're saying about the OP- but maybe she'll be feeling more cheerful this morning.

Bestb411pm · 05/04/2011 09:23

Could you not get some quotes and make your landlord the offer of getting the work done in lieu of rent? It takes a lot of the hassle out of it for him and providing there's lots of notice his mortgage payments could be covered or he could look into taking a payment holiday?

I know my aunt did this when she installed a new kitchen, and we've done bits and bobs that have just been knocked off the rent payment the next month. Depends on your relationship with your landlord, but considering the area he would probably end up quids in.

stressheaderic · 05/04/2011 09:27

Having a 25 year old boiler isn't too bad either.
Ours is still going strong since the house was built 40 years ago!
Ok it's noisy and inefficient but we have lots of hot water and a warm house.

First thing to do - get on rightmove and see what's available in the area/on bus routes. Ask, ask and ask - someone will know of something.

MorticiaAddams · 05/04/2011 09:31

I think my main problem is that it's a bit personal for me at the moment. One of dd's friend's mum's doesn't drive was always moaning when her partner couldn't take her somehwere or ex-inlaws couldn't pick her dd up. Her reason was that she didn't like driving on motorways. I said to her that she should learn and get a small car just for getting around locally but she just said no without a reason.

She has now split up with her boyfriend and has had to get a job and is working a thirteen hour day as she has to get three buses and also has to turn down work sometimes. I have been helping out with another mother looking after her dd after school but I am not well and her dd is hard work so I told her I couldn't do it anymore. Unfortunately it turned out that the other mother has also now told her the same as their dds are spending too much time together and she can't handle the bickering.

I was nervous when I first learnt to drive not the actual driving but I had practically no sense of direction and used to get somebody to help me with a map when I was even going locally somewhere I didn't know and tell me what lanes to go in when. Once I'd got the hang of it my confidence grew and my sense of direction still isn't great but I made myself understand maps which is another thing a lot of people don't understand but my brain just doesn't work that way and then got sat nav as soon as I could.

A lot of difficulties can be overcome but you just need to try.

Lucyinthepie · 05/04/2011 09:33

Sadly, I would not offer to do any work on the house in lieu of rent. At least, not unless you don't mind the fact that at any time the landlord can again give you two months notice to go, regardless of any work you have "paid" for. Besides which, if the landlord is saying the place is costing him too much to run, reducing his rental income for a few months to get the work done will be no help to him.
Oh, and before the thread goes too far down the route of why some people don't drive... learning to drive was just one of the possibilities suggested to Op.

Skinit · 05/04/2011 09:35

You have the rght to stay as long as it takes to find something elsin the vllage....you do....speak to SHELTER for information. Even if he sells it tomorrow you dont have to leave yet.

Skinit · 05/04/2011 09:37

Cory...I don't drive and we rent...I love our rented home too...I also know the pitfalls. Don't panic...stay put till another property comes up.

noddyholder · 05/04/2011 09:40

Speak to your landlord again and maybe try and convince him to do teh repairs! He will never sell it as is and so you have time to get sorted. Leaflet all the houses in the village and just ask around Someone may have a granny flat or something even short term.

SarkyLady · 05/04/2011 09:42

But is it realistic that the landlord will get a quick sale?

Surely in the current Market thus is likely to drag on for ages giving you plenty of time to find somewhere?

Skinit · 05/04/2011 09:47

That's true SarkyLady...my Aunt has had her house on the market for over a year and it's a nice little house for a first time buyer...anyway Cory...look here

england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/renting_and_leasehold/renting_agreements

Bratfink · 05/04/2011 09:49

Learning to drive cost a fortune 20 years ago when I did. Imagine it would cost even more now. Buying, insuring taxing moting maintaining and running it wouldn't really seem to be a solution to the problem in hand. OP you do need to put out word that you are looking for somewhere to rent on the area, chat to neighbours and well known faces in the village, put a sign in local shop and pub. you never know, it's worth a go if you really love it and want to stay

BaggedandTagged · 05/04/2011 11:20

Agree with Sarky lady- especially as interest rates may be up 50bps by the summer- if it's that bad the main risk is a developer who wants to knock it down and develop the plot together with the wasteland. Also, might be that the LL's just having a bad day and is letting off some steam- we've all done it. The number of times I've threatened to push the car off a cliff is ridiculous

However, based on the current situation, I would relax a bit..........but learn to drive now in case you end up moving within driving but not walking distance of your son's school. Presumably, once he starts, even if you then move out of catchment, he can stay there, right?

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