to not reply to this wedding invite?

[TastesLikePanda]

purely because it is addressed to DH only. I think he should get off his arse and RSVP for once.

OK, it's from some distant relative of DHs that I might have met, but it doesn't even say Mr and Mrs Tasteslikepanda, it is addressed only to him.
We have been married for 8 years and together for 18, so it's not as if I'm a secret girlfriend or anything...

and I don't want to go

[ducks and covers head for inevitable flaming]

No - it was addressed to him. He should respond.

Do you mean you are not even invited? Definitely let him do the replying.

Firstly, how very odd to get an invite without your name on it!?
Secondly, he must rsvp. It's addressed to him.

it used to be correct to address a wedding invitation envelope to teh wife only. but inside it woudl say to mr and mrs TLP. Are they perhaps confusing him with a single cousin? and why woudl you invite a distant relative to your wedding? weird

Do they know you're still together? It does sound odd.

ooh, thats a better response than I was predicting!

I assumed that it was for him only, as the envelope is addressed to 'Mr TLP' and the inside just says the usual 'you are invited to the evening reception yadda yadda'
It's not even the wedding and will involve a lengthy car journey (over 2 hours round trip) so he doesn't want to go either, but he is doing that bloke thing 'We' (meaning 'you') should get a nice apology card.

Will leave this in his hands I think!

It was addressed to him, he should respond.

Unless there is a genuine reason why he can't, other than you're "the one who deals with that sort of thing" or something (e.g. he is working twice as many hours with an horrific commute)... why would you reply to something like that if it wasn't addressed to you? YANBU.

I have a friend who works fulltime (as does her DH) - last week when I saw her for lunch in town she was off to buy a mother's day card and present for her DH (her mum , unfortunately, passed away many years ago, and she doens't get on with MIL, a real shame). She finds this slightly upsetting (for obvious reasons) as well as resenting the fact that she is always the one who remembers, arranges, and buys for birthdays and special events both both sides of the family. Which wouldn't be so bad if she were the only person bothered, but apparently last year when she forgot her DH was upset with her for not remembering to buy his mum a card!

Really had to sit on my hands on that one last week.

I find it strange that so many women seem to take on everyday tasks for their other halves despite there being, often, no real reason why it becomes their domain - and are then thusly held accountable for it. I wonder if the OP's DH will query with the OP if no reply is sent? Presuming of course that she passes the opened invitation to him (would be a bit childish not to).

YANBU

If your name isn't there then you are not invited. Therefore it isn't your job to answer, it's your DH's responsibility.

Haha! Frgr, DH is well used to me not taking on the responsibility for his cards etc and there is no reason he can't, in fact there is more reason for him to be able to as he works in the town centre, and I work out of it.

I don't think he is expecting me to reply tbh, but I remember reading the threads on here about people not getting RSVPd and I felt a weeny bit guilty...
but no longer!

It is rude not to RSVP but let your DH send the apologies.

It was addressed to him and as you are not on the invite and don't want to go then I think you should be safe to leave him to respond on his own behalf only. I wouldn't actually follow my own advice as I couldn't be so rude as to not to reply to the invitation if I knew that Gomez wouldn't do it.

A 2 hour round trip isn't very far so that's no excuse.

I find it strange that so many women seem to take on everyday tasks for their other halves despite there being, often, no real reason why it becomes their domain - and are then thusly held accountable for it

frgr I do this partly because I don't see our families as two halves but just as family which side they are on. We both have our strengths and weaknesses and this sort of thing is something I like to do. I could probably go round and help my Dad build a wall or put up a fence if necessary but he would ask Gomez because it's more his thing. The final reason I do it is that I'm a huge planner and a bit of a control freak on certain taks and I would feel happier and more settled knowing it was done. I've trying leaving things to teach Gomez a lesson but it doesn't bother him leaving things to the last minute and it would be on my mind. I'm generally an incredibly chilled person but do need to be well organised.

Zukie its usually because the men in their lives just automatically assume that "the missus" will sort this sort of thing out. Why the hell should the OP reply to an invitation that wasnt sent to her and has no mention of her on there? In the same way that why should frgr's friend get an earholing from her OH because SHE didnt buy HIS mother a mothers day card when he was perfectly capable of doing it himself?

Its that kind of thing that contributes to some men being pathetic and useless because they are allowed to get used to the women in their lives doing everything for them because the women feel they should.

If I was invited I would have no qualms sending an RSVP.

If I wasn't then I wouldn't.

DH deals with is letters and his side of the family........and I deal with mine.

Don't everybody do it that way.