to want to tell my dh that although the help he gives is appreciated I would like more

[stdorothymantooth]

We have a ten week old baby and we agreed before he was born we agreed that I would do night feeds during the week as he has to go back to work, and he would help out at weekends so I get a break.
When he wakes to be fed at night I change his nappy while he prepares his feed, then Dh goes back to sleep while I feed and settle the baby (sometimes this can take almost an hour) and ds can sometimes wake three times a night.
At the weekend when he's not napping Dh will keep him entertained so I can cook/do laundry etc.
However I realised last night that I have done EVERY single night feed for about the past eight weeks. Do you think I would be asking a lot to ask him to do some at weekends as I am exhausted. I am so freaking tired I could cry.
Our baby also has colic and to ease this we go for a long walk in the evenings (his pram seems to calm him) so I am also worn out.

I stopped changing nappies at night at about 6-8 weeks I think - up til then ds was pooing at every feed so I had no choice He's only needed nappy changed in the night a couple of times in the last 6 months though.

Don't worry op, a lot of the advice I read said change with each feed, but a very sensible HV told me not to stimulate unnecessarily at night.

Yanbu to want him to share at weekends, Tatty said everything I would have!

Fab advice already given, I can remember doing the last feed at 10pm and going to bed my DH would then bring up a bottle with hot water already in it which would then be about the right temp at the 2am feed so I just popped the powder in and shook.
Lights were never put on and I didn't change nappies at night so generally the baby went back to sleep but I do remember getting aquainted with the shipping forecast at some odd hours!!
Then DH did the early feed and handed the baby to me when he went.
He usually got 7 hours sleep straight so went off to work no problem.
Sound like youre trying to do too much so cut yourself some slack and catch up on your sleep whenever you can and definately let dh do the walk with the pram, even if he just goes as far as the pub garden!!

Back to your original question about asking DH to do some nights, he probably thinks he's doing it jointly with you if he's making up the feed (even if he isn't staying up for the duration, it's still disturbing his sleep). Use the simpler methods described above and you can have a few nights off (as can he).

I think it's only fair that you both either do one whole night each at the weekends.

We didn't do that as both ours dropped the 2-3am feed quite early so all through the week Gomez did anything up to 12 as he would be up until then anyway and then at the weekend we shared the 2-3am feed when they had it and then I did the 5-5.30am feed. As small babies mine got up for the day anywhere between 8.30 and 10.00am so it was fine but Gomez still got up with them one morning each weekend. Doing it this way meant we still got a good few hours solid sleep each night.

I never changed nappies until after they had fed as they always seemed to wee or poo a minutes later.

Slather on a lot of sudocream when you put him down for the night and cut every corner you possibly can. Put DS sleeping on a big folded beach towel in case he leaks during the night and save yourself from washing cot sheets the next day. Make it easy for you both. Your DH may be more willing to pitch in at weekends if he sees it as less of a palaver too.

The DH needs to do laundry and/or cook while your DS is napping at weekends while you nap or just rest.

I bfed so I was the one up all night every night, but I never changed anyone who hadn't pooped.

YANBU - he should help with weekend night feeds. Its only fair and you need some sleep too!! I do think its excellent that he gets up to help prepare the bottles - I would probably pre-make the night bottles and leave them in the fridge so he doesn't have to do that personally....but that little bit of help is really good. I let DH wear earplugs on weekdays as he has to go to work in the am, BUT come Friday and Sat we take turns with sleep ins and with night feeds. Night feeds are very wearing and exhausting - its good to share the load.

Oh and I agree with the above - we stopped changing our son in the middle of the night unless he was wet through or had pooed. That really moves things along and can keep LO from becoming wide-eyed awake.

I did nearly all the night feeds for 5 months, I was a bit of a sleep martyr actually, and in the end I nearly had a breakdown from exhaustion. Don't be like me!

It was DH who put his foot down and insisted on doing all the night feeds for an entire week, so I could try to recover a bit. I refused at first, I felt so guilty, he had to work!! But he said, 'Nothing I do all day at work is anywhere near as important as what you do all day taking care of our baby, and you need sleep for that too.'

There's some great advice on here, but please don't worry too much if your husband is tired for work. They'll survive, and you need to recover as well so you can take care of your little one.

Just wanted to drop back and say thanks for all the advice. We now make feeds for night in advance and only change poo-ey nappies at night, that alone makes it so much easier. Talked to Dh he said he was a bit nervous to be,left all on his own to do night feeds at weekends, so is going to do more during the day til he's more comfortable.