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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a 22 year old Romanian girl

66 replies

deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:12

could be an excellent child-friendly Housekeeper? We are hoping to hire a live-in housekeeper for at least 6 months whilst no 2 is little. There would be some involvement with the children, some sole-care, but not much and she does have good childcare qualifications. But the main role is to "keep house" and cook occasionally.

She has applied for the job, and seems nice, and is very reasonable in her wage requirements (obv still above nat min wage).

My mum thinks this is too young, and she is just not going to have the experience to clean properly - we live in an older property, which really shows when its not been thoroughly cleaned for a week or so..... Obv I'd provide guidance, but memories spring to mind of past cleaners who have used 10 rolls of kitchen paper each week despite having loads of cloths etc, and still not managed to get anything sparkling..l...

OP posts:
ForShizzle · 04/04/2011 10:15

The last paragraph lets you down. 4/10.

Vallhala · 04/04/2011 10:16

I wouldn't be worrying whether she could clean, I'd be far more concerned about someone I didn't know having sole care of my young children.

Most of us learned to clean properly by the age of 22, surely? I had a house of my own by then and although I did have a cleaner come in a couple of times a week that was because I was working all the hours god sent, not because I couldn;t do it myself.

Original poster
deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:16

Eh?

OP posts:
Vallhala · 04/04/2011 10:17

Oh shit... I fell for it, didn't I? Blush

Thanks ForShizzle.

HaggisNeepsnTatties · 04/04/2011 10:19

Fell for what?? Am I missing something?

Original poster
deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:20

Its not a wind up, by the way. Why would it be? Re. the not knowing someone.... well obviously I will interview her and look closely at her qualifications and references. Isn't that all anyone can do when hiring a cm/nanny/au pair/sitter?

OP posts:
Hassled · 04/04/2011 10:21

ForShizzle has baffled the hell out of me. It seems like a reasonable question and yes, your average 22 year old, whether Romanian or not, should have a clue about cleaning a house.

Vallhala · 04/04/2011 10:23

OK... assuming this isn't a wind up, deliakate, I wouldn't have left my young children in the care of someone I didn't know or who hadn't come recommended as the nanny/CM etc of a trusted friend so the circumstances you describe just wouldn't apply.

I'd be far more concerned about the welfare and safetly of my children in the care of an unsupervised stranger than I would be worried about how much of a shine she could get on the Aga.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 04/04/2011 10:27

WOMAN, not girl, FFS. I suggest you try and sound a lot less patronising if you interview her, otherwise I'd imagine she'd tell you to shove it.

Original poster
deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:28

Oh, OK Vallhala, so its childcarers in general that you find hard to trust. Since its going to be so infrequent in any case (I'm a sahm, gym has a creche already, so it'll only be the odd hair appiontment), I'm going to have to use my judgement and research skills on that one. Thanks anyway.

OP posts:
thaigreencurry · 04/04/2011 10:29

Why is the fact that she is Romanian relevant?

Discriminating on grounds of nationality and age is unlawful.

Original poster
deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:31

Of course Winter. Its just that I still felt like a girl at 22 and couldn't clean a teacup.

IDK, thai, why I mentioned that. I'm certainly not choosing her on the grounds of nationality.

OP posts:
winnybella · 04/04/2011 10:31

What does her being Romanian have to do with it? Confused

OliPolly · 04/04/2011 10:32

Why specify that she is Romanian?

Is her English bad?

RitaMorgan · 04/04/2011 10:33

I thought Romanians and Bulgarians could only be self-employed? And a housekeeper isn't self-employed.

Vallhala · 04/04/2011 10:34

Not childcarers in general, but unsupervised strangers without personal recommendation. I've done my fair share of putting DDs in the gym creche, nursery and so on, where staff were strangers to me but no one member was left in sole charge.

Of course, deliakate, this is merely a difference in opinions and naturally you will use your own judgement and research skills to make decisions over your own child. I'm just surprised that if you are able to do that about childcare you are not able to do it about whether or not a 22 year old "Romanian girl" can clean properly.

Original poster
deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:34

Not looked into that yet, Rita, but I will do, thanks.

So, perhaps it seems her nationality IS relevant!

OP posts:
purepurple · 04/04/2011 10:36

At 22 I was a forces wife, having been married for 2 years and had just had my first baby. I was more than capable of cleaning to a high standard required for march-outs. I certainly wasn't a 'girl'. I'm not Romanian, though, maybe that makes a difference? Hmm

Original poster
deliakate · 04/04/2011 10:37

Point taken, Vall, but that's not primarily why she would be coming to live with us, and will form a small part of the role - once or twice a month I think, for an hour or two max.

OP posts:
thaigreencurry · 04/04/2011 10:41

Ok so its more your mothers concern than yours?

My parents generation were much more involved in cleaning and running the house than I was . At 22 my mum had 2 children and had been a housewife for 4 years as well as experience working as a live in domestic from the age of 14.

At 22 I had my own house but had little experience of childcare and whilst my house was clean and tidy having a sparkling hob was low down on my list of priorities. I doubt I would have been good enough to work as a paid housekeeper.

Age and nationality is irrelevant. It really depends on whether she has the experience and whether you feel comfortable leaving your child in her care and having her live in your home.

Your mother is being unreasonable.

Parmallama · 04/04/2011 10:42

I don't think she is too young...but I do think it's reasonable to offer her plenty of support until she gets to grips with all the tasks that she is expected to do.

Would be a good stepping stone to something else I think and would give her valuable work experience.

Skinit · 04/04/2011 10:43

Why don't you get an AuPair from a good agency? I agree about the reccomendation thiing though...infrequent or not, you wil be trusting her with your DC.

VinegarTits · 04/04/2011 10:43

why cant you clean your own house?

MooMooFarm · 04/04/2011 10:44

I don't understand the question Confused

Skinit · 04/04/2011 10:44

Well that's by the by VinegarTits....if I could afford help I would have it too! SAHM or not...