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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think it's ok for dd to tell a white lie in this case?

19 replies

Dancergirl · 03/04/2011 23:15

Dd1 is nearly 10. Dh had told me that the dc wanted to make Mothers' Day cards for me so he didn't buy one for them to write. Fair enough.

So this morning dd2 gave me a lovely card she had made at school and when dh encouraged dd1 to give me her card she said 'later'. I was out around lunchtime and when I came home there was a home-made card from dd1 waiting for me. I thanked her and asked when she had made it to which she replied 'yesterday'. I thought that was a bit odd as we were out nearly all day yesterday. When I mentioned it to dh he said she'd made it today while I was out!

I know it's only a small thing and I'm not THAT bothered but I can't decide if her telling a white lie is ok as she was probably a bit embarrassed she hadn't got round to doing it till last minute...of if she should have been honest..?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 03/04/2011 23:19

Little fibs like that are perfectly acceptable, it also shows she cares and wanted you to think she hadnt forgotten and left it to the last minute.

worraliberty · 03/04/2011 23:22

Of course it's acceptable, it's called saving your arse Grin

Silver1 · 03/04/2011 23:23

crikey whilst it is important to encourage honesty, having that much micromanagement of your children's actions can't be healthy for either of you. Let her tell a fib, she probably feels bad enough as it is and wanted to do something nice to make up for it.

applechutney · 03/04/2011 23:25

Of course you should let it go!

What would be the alternative? You 'call' her on her assertion that she made the card today, and destroy all the joy she had in making you a card?

You would be vvvu to even consider this. Lighten up!

zipzap · 03/04/2011 23:26

maybe she started it albeit very briefly yesterday and then had to finish it off while you were out as she didn't have time to finish it yesterday?

valiumredhead · 03/04/2011 23:26

Flipping heck, what applechutney said!

Original poster
Dancergirl · 03/04/2011 23:29

Thanks, I was about 95% sure that's what I thought anyway!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 03/04/2011 23:34

If you were going to "pull" her on it. I would certainly make it lighthearted and along of the lines of "reeallllly" with a wink and a smile... so that she knows that you know she is fibbing, but that you are not mad at her for it.

nectarina · 04/04/2011 06:09

Why did you ask her when she made it? Sounds to me like you wanted to put her in the shit. You'll make a serious liar out of her if you keep tripping her up.

seeker · 04/04/2011 06:13

Why did you even ask her? I think that was really, really mean.

rainbowinthesky · 04/04/2011 07:12

Yabvu and if you carry on this way you will store up a whole load of trouble for those lovely teenage years.

onceamai · 04/04/2011 07:53

She's obviously emotionally intelligent

cory · 04/04/2011 08:43

She is growing up. This is the kind of white lie you yourself tell all the time, to spare the feelings of friends and family. She is learning how this works and how it is different from real dishonesty. Don't confuse her now. And don't teach her that it is acceptable to look a gift horse in the mouth- it is not!

Original poster
Dancergirl · 04/04/2011 09:02

Hey, ok ok!! No need to come down on me like a ton of bricks! I said it's only a small thing, I wasn't cross at all....I only asked her because I was curious. I'm not exactly going to cross-question her about when she made it and accuse her of lying. I asked her v casually, most of the conversation was me thanking her for her lovely card and then carrying on with our day. I think her reason for fibbing is quite sweet in a way....

rainbowinthesky - sorry your post made me laugh a bit.....'carry on this way'?? Sounds like a gypsy's curse! Smile Think you might be over-reacting a bit. The post was light-hearted.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 04/04/2011 09:12

Hang on a minute OP, this is AIBU, this is MN and you DID ask Grin

I do actually thing rainbow has a point. If you are querying such a small thin now, later on it MIGHT get worse. Everyone lies.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 04/04/2011 09:15

Hang on a minute OP, this is AIBU, this is MN and you DID ask

That's true! Prob shouldn't have bothered! Smile

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 04/04/2011 09:15

THINK

valiumredhead · 04/04/2011 09:15

Oh well, sorted then!

seeker · 04/04/2011 09:37

Don't backtrack. The Op didn't sound lighthearted at all.

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