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AIBU?

To be annoyed at care home

21 replies

heartmoonshadow · 03/04/2011 22:57

Today have had IL's to dinner, they live in a sort of half way care home, a bit more than warden control in that they have nursing staff (I say this whilst laughingly calling it that!) Anyway family chose to accommodate them there because if anything happens in an emergency either one or the other gets immediate care. In the past couple of weeks my FIl has been admitted to hospital, not his fault I know, according to Social services MIL should get care but this is not the case the staff where they are say they will check in at 9pm then again in the morning at 8am. MIL has Alzheimers and her care plan states that if anything happens they must stay with her for 48hrs and then if necessary and FIL stays in hosp they move her to respite.

So tonight at 10pm we get a call to say FIL gone to hospital in ambulance can someone come over to look after MIL as they don't have the staff with it being Mother's day. SIL has gone to hosp and will probably be there all night and Hubby has gone to stay with his mum. This means he will not go to work tomorrow as she walks all night and does not settle hence requiring 24hr care. What is really annoying me is that today I have had a bottle and a half of wine and am now in sole care of my young son, we have a deal that means that one of always stays sober to look after little man just in case as we live out in the sticks.

Sorry to vent but really just annoyed with useless systems that don't work!

OP posts:

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tethersend · 03/04/2011 23:00

Make sure you bill the care home for your SIL/DH's time.

Do they have a social worker?

nickschick · 03/04/2011 23:02

Right realistically speaking nothing much can happen that means you need to drive out tonight -presume ds is sleeping?.

You need to get to sleep stop stressing tonight theres nothing you can do.

Tomorrow you need to write up a list and demand to speak to whoever is in charge of this fuckup and get things sorted in future events.

It is wrong and it is crap and I know you are only venting but save your wrath up for tomorrow.

heartmoonshadow · 03/04/2011 23:05

Yes they have a social worker I unfortunately don't get to have a say as SIL sorts everything out and hubby is useless with paperwork so doesn't get involved. I spoke to SIL on her mobile at the hospital and asked her what the Social worker said as it happened almost two weeks ago to the day when FIL fell over and I spent 8 hrs in A&E with a 20 month old child I was not a happy bunny anyway she said that she is still waiting for a call back! Maybe this time because she has been inconvenienced she will chase it up.

Thanks tethersend I will type up an invoice right now!

OP posts:

stealthcat · 03/04/2011 23:05

Sounds like an unusual set-up. Is it a nursing home? If your FIL's needs are changing then the care package might benefit from review anyway.

squeakytoy · 03/04/2011 23:05

Well, you have just typed very clearly and coherantly, so I would say you are certainly not too pissed to be in charge of your son, who I assume is fast asleep in his bed.

stealthcat · 03/04/2011 23:06

The care home aren't going to pay for the families time.

heartmoonshadow · 03/04/2011 23:07

Yes son in bed asleep and I am just flustered and a control freak so not a good combination I shall sort it out in the morning!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 03/04/2011 23:08

I am sure it will get sorted. Sorry to hear you FIL is unwell. As you say, have a good nights sleep, and it will probably seem much more easy to get things with the home organised in the morning.

tethersend · 03/04/2011 23:08

Who is funding their care?

If it is Social services, you need to point out to the SW that they are allocating much needed funds to a service which is not being provided.

Rosebud05 · 03/04/2011 23:09

I'm a bit confused about your MIL's stated care needs. What is the 'anything happens' you mention - is it your FIL not being there? What happened when he was in hospital recently? What happened to her usual 24 hr care that you mention?

There not being enough staff isn't a good enough reason; protocol should mean that they use agency staff although I'm sure that your MIL will be much more appreciative of a familiar face.

If FIL is being admitted into hospital regularly, the care manager need to reassess both care plans, I should say, to accommodate changing needs.

tethersend · 03/04/2011 23:10

stealthcat, the invoice was tongue in cheek- the problem is that the care home are being paid for a service which the OP's DH and SIL had to provide. For free.

Rosebud05 · 03/04/2011 23:11

It's not a care home. It sounds like 'extra-care' housing, where housing is provided by one agency and care by another.

tethersend · 03/04/2011 23:14

Somebody is being paid for a service which they are not providing. The SW needs to know that this has happened.

heartmoonshadow · 03/04/2011 23:15

Rosebud - FIL is MIL carer and recently had a fall which resulted in him going to hospital for an x-ray and at that time no care for MIL it was middle of the day and the home did not have a spare person to sit with her so we arranged for her to stay with a neighbour until he came out in the evening. FIL has problems but nothing that requires regular hospital stays this is a hang over from the fall I think I have no exact info as yet.

We need an overhaul of care and to be honest hubby needs to get involved not leave it to SIL, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place if I get involved it will become my responsibility and I am not sure I want it.

OP posts:

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 03/04/2011 23:18

www.cqc.org.uk/

May be a useful source of information. Your SIL may also like to hint that she may contact the CQC if the service does not improve.

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2011 23:22

You need to be clear what the responsibility is off the 'care home', the social worker and yourselves. They will provide immediate care but it may be that then it is the responsibility of the family to step in. If you would have said no then they would have had to phone the duty social worker who would have sorted things out. If the care plan is being carried out by the social worker then it may be a social workers responsibility to use a agency to sit with MIL if the care home does not have staff available.

The set up you describe is support staff (supported living) not nursing. It sounds as though it is SS who should be overseeing their care. They can remain where they are but agency staff will be 'bought in' to make up the shortfall in what the 'care home' can provide.

If an assessment was done by SS and then the care plan approved by the SW then any gaps are a failure of duty of care. Is your DP complaining about him having to step in because it needs to come from them. Neither your MIL or FIL have been left without care so it is unfair to say that the system does not work.

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2011 23:28

tethersend- they are not in a care home and the care won't be funded unless used. The first time it happened the SW should have been informed so they all knew who should have been doing what. Unless the SW has given them the authority to get in a support worker to sit with MIl, then they cannot, it will only happen if a member of the regular staff is available. OP you need to speak to your SIL to clear things up. I dont see how your DP cannot get involved when it is his parents.

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2011 23:29

It sounds as though it is the Local Authority Social Worker who is at fault, but then your SIL should have found out what broke down last time.

tethersend · 03/04/2011 23:30

Birds, that is why I have repeatedly said that the SW needs to be informed; it is SS who are paying for a service which is not being provided. If SS are not adequately funding the care stated in the care plan, then that becomes a separate issue.

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2011 23:34

There will be 'a pot of money' available to buy in the extra care needed. It is a matter of finding out who is responsibile for doing that. I would imagine the SW or emergancy out of hours contact not the 'care home'. Op your SIL will have the details of this if she agreed to the care plan.

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/04/2011 00:05

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