my first mother's day

[owainsmum]

Hi everyone, my little boy is 9 weeks old so this is my first mother's day, but I didn't get a card and my husband hadn't even realised that he should have done something. He knew it was mother's day because I got him to write a card for his mum a few days ago but it didn't occur to him that I'm a mother too now. He even said "it's only the first one", as if that makes it less important, when actually it's probably the most important and I was looking forward to a nice day with maybe even the chance to have a nice long bath later. Instead I'm being made to feel like I'm in the wrong for being upset about this, and as far as he's concerned he forgot something very minor and I'm over-reacting.
sorry to rant, I feel a bit better now though. Thanks for listening

drop hints next time of what you would like and remind him lots what day it is

Don't wait til next year! make sure he knows NOW what you expect. Tell him that next Sunday is your Mother's day & your expect xyz.

Don't brood, sulk etc! Be direct & tell him upset you. And he needs to put it right! ASAP!

I reminded DH a lot - I wouldn't expect him to get there on his own

why - is he disabled in some way?

no wonder some of you have issues in your marriages when you expect your husbands to treat you as their mothers lol

Why do we excuse men all the time saying "oh they are just not good at things like this" It's so patronising for a start.

These men are not children. They are adults and as such can take responsibility for doing something as simple as buying a card and a bunch of flowers for someone they presumably love and want to be happy.

It's not rocket science ffs and I get sick and tired of letting 50% of the population off the emotional hook with the "oh they just don't think" line. It's the same one that let's them off the housework because "they just don't see the mess" and it makes me REALLY seethe

So no, YANBU to expect your feelings to cross your husband's mind and for being upset when it doesn't

louloudia - It's just not on DH's radar. He doesn't do all the dates, birthdays etc. I do. I don't mind as he does a LOT of other stuff - including so-called typical wifely duties such as ironing, cooking, shopping, major childcare etc. He is a bit rubbish in this regard, but then I am a bit rubbish in some regards too. He does A LOT more than many Dads, and is amazing and thoughtful with birthday, christmas presents etc. He just needs reminding about dates.

He forgets things. It's not because he's a man but because he works in a very stressful job FT, PLUS does a lot at home - he certainly doesn't get let off the housework Curryspice - that's usually me ;)
So don't generalise about relationships unless you know the details.