to suddenly feel shit scared...?

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

Ive been a sahm since 20weeks pregnant with ds who is 4 in july, due to recent circumstances i have decided to work weekends, and was lucky enough to find a job overnight as a home carer, i start my basic training tomorrow, and im terrified.

its home caring and ive done this before, i did a diploma in it years back and know the ropes i am just so bloody nervous, ive been just a mum for so so long and before that i knew everyone on my course, i went to school with the same people since 2.5yrs and 2 of them came on the same course as me so ive never gone into anything alone, so scary... im really shy and ive never really made any mum friends and im so forgetfull now. Im so concerned my mind will be blank and everything i know will vanish.

please tell me iabu and will be fine and be able to talk to everyone and not be the boring stupid mum.

You'll be fine. I can see why you'd be nervous about it but after a week or so you'll wonder what you were worrying about!
Please please please don't say you've "just" been a mum or describe yourself as "the boring stupid mum". Being a good mum is hard work and requires a whole range of skills! Sounds like you have problems with low self esteem?

probably, were having a pretty shitty time atm so im negative about most things to save disapointment.

im doing this job mainly for money but also because i want to be me again, ive been so excited and the realitys kinda hit me today.

In my experience, the anticipation is always worse than the reality. I am dreading going back to work after my maternity leave finishes at the end of June but I reckon that after the first couple of weeks it will be just fine.

Like you say, you've done this type of work before and you know what you're doing. What do you think will go wrong?

After the initial nervousness you'll probably enjoy having some extra cash and doing something a bit different.

I think your feelings are very understandable, it sounds like you have a lot going on, plus some negative feelings, it is no wonder you are feeling anxious.

As Honeybee79 says, being a SAHM is a very important job and one that has provided you with many skills - many of which will be useful in your new role - even if it doesn't feel like that now.

I think you should commend yourself on being proactive and taking on a weekend job, not everybody would. And you have secured a job, not easy in this market - big pat on your back I think.

Assuming the training isn't just for you, there will be others there who will feel just as you do, even more anxious as maybe as they don't have the relevant qualification as you do.

Why not write on some postitive statements and take them in your bag. Eg: I am going to be able to do this training, I will enjoy speaking to others et . It feels a bit forced, but it might help balance out the negative thoughts.

And finally, why not do some practical things to focus on all the good things/benefits that will come from this. So plan a small treat for yourself with your first pay packet, take a magazine/book to read on the break/travel if not in a car etc.

Good luck. Do post back to say how it went.

WS

Good luck! I'm sure you will be fab and i'm not suprised that you are finding it a bit difficult with everything else going on but just think this could be the boost you are looking for! As soon as you get back into it you will feel comfortable about it again and i'd imagine other people on the training won't have any experience so you will be one step ahead already :D Let us know how it goes!

It was fab!

i really enjoyed it and remembered all my previous training so was a bit of a swot but it made me feel brilliant that i knew things and was a valuable part of a team. were a small group of 4 and none of the others have any experience so for the first time in my life i know what im talking about and im helping them understand

I did get a big slap of reality when dp came to say hi on my break with the kids i got a huge pang and really missed them but i know balancing time with them and time for work will make me happier as ill be able to treat them and it will be MY money and ill be far more appreciative of my time with them, just wish they hadnt been so grouchy when i got in at 4, but then that is what i call the witching hours between food and bed and theyre always foul!

cant wait for tomorrow! wish it wasnt only four days, but theyve already offered me the opportunity to do my NVQ2 after a month settling in

Well done you OP . Going back to work is scary but is never as bad as you think it'll be. And it's so good for your confidence. You've gone from a SAHM to a working mum! I champion both, I started job hunting when DD was 12

Fab well done!!

Sounds great.

Enjoy.