So DH rang his mother this morning to wish her Happy Mothering Sunday (we are not allowed to say Happy Mother's Day to her 
) and also to firm up, on her prior request, what days we're gping up to hers over Easter. ( dreading it.)
As they were talking, she could hear DS1 (3) talking enthusiastically about his new train, which he got as a reward on his star chart after several weeks of earning stars for coming and sitting down to meals when asked, and not deliberately dropping/crumbling food or otherwise being naughty at mealtimes. (please note: NOT for eating everything on his plate. I don't force him to eat if I can see he's not hungry or really doesn't like it.)
DH explained to MIL about the train and why DS1 had been given it, and she said that she thought we were being extremely mean to DS1, draconian even, with all these rules and stars and so on. 
We are pretty liberal parents, I think, and only started the good behaviour chart because DS1 has recently started really pushing boundaries and playing up. We're extremely affectionate and cuddly with him, and I can't believe MIL thinks otherwise. 
Anyway, she told DH that she thought we were far too strict with DS1 (if only she knew!) and that 'we didn't appreciate how lucky we were with him' (right. we take our fantastic boys utterly for granted. They make my world go round.) DH told her he wished she'd keep her opinions to herself (this is pretty strong for DH with his mum, he tends to clam up and fume later) and she said she was entitled to her opinion, and that 'we could be better parents, really'. 
DH hung up on her - first time I've ever seen him do that.
Later, he rang her back (I asked him to, I thought she might be feeling guilty (he said 'Ha! never') about telling him she thought we weren't good parents on Mother's Day, and also, MIL is great at holding onto grudges and I didn't want this to fester). She didn't apologise (she said that my SIL had thought she ought to, which is as close as she got to saying that she might have been in the wrong). I think things are smoothed over, but not by her! DH is upset about the whole thing, and I can't believe she actually told him she thought we weren't doing a good job as parents. The choices we make to give DS1 some boundaries are none of her business and if she thinks we're cruel parents, she must be barking!
And she meant me too, when she said we could be doing a better job, so WTF else does she take exception to, I wonder? I'm co-sleeping with DS2 at the moment and carry him in the sling a lot. I know she doesn't like the sling, she's already said as much. Wonder what else she thinks I'm doing wrong?
AIBU to wish we weren't going there at Easter? SIL's family will be there (MIL loves playing Happy Families but these occasions end up as anything but) and it'll be torturous. Still, DS1 will probably enjoy it.