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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wish my ex would stop buying our 8 year old inappropriate things

18 replies

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:09

I'm sure he does it to wind me up and maybe he really is just plain stupid. Today my DS came back with a Little Britain dvd and a book that includes instructions on how to hot wire a car. I'm really confused about how to manage this. It's upsetting for my DS too who is probably also confused as to why his dad says it's ok and then I take it off him when he gets home. I give in to a lot of things but surely Little Britain is an adults only programme? Sadly I'm not in a position to have discussions with my ex.

OP posts:

squidgy12 · 03/04/2011 12:12

This reply has been deleted

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kaid100 · 03/04/2011 12:25

sounds to me like he's trying to provoke you. He's clearly too stupid to realise all he is actually doing is giving you ammunition to bring up in court.

Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:28

Thanks kaid, thankfully we don't do court. He doesn't want to see his DS and I can't force him, and if he did want to see him more I would welcome it with open arms, alas not bloody likely - the guy's a twat. And yes, I agree he's trying to wind me up, so I think I should just ignore it every time he does something like this.

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colditz · 03/04/2011 12:30

Every time he does this, I'd replace it with something AWESOME - but age appropriate

hecate · 03/04/2011 12:30

He doesn't want to see his son? So which son is coming home with stuff? (excuse me, I am easily confused )

Bogeyface · 03/04/2011 12:32

He may not be trying to wind you up, he could just be a complete fucking moron.

I did a car boot once and sold a load of South Park DVDs that (then) DHs brother gave us. They were bought by a woman for her kids age range from 5 to 10. She knew what they were about, she was reading the backs of them and talking about whether they had that one as it was about the Chicken fucker Lover or Mr Hanky the Xmas Poo.

Some people really are that stupid

Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:33

Sorry hecate, he obviously sees his son but he would be very unlikely to want to increase contact and therefore not likely to ever take me to court, not that I would ever stop him seeing his son. Don't worry I'm confusing myself now. I had a night out (my one night a month I'm without child) and I'm slightly worse for wear.

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Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:34

Hecate, someone mentioned using it in court. God, I'm really thick today - I think you get my meaning!

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bizbee30 · 03/04/2011 12:35

bettiboo he sounds so similar to my ds's dad, he gave them grand theft auto and halo when they were 5 and 4. whenever they went to his they would be on 18 games like above and doom etc. he works in a game shop so he knows the laws etc. frustrating for me and harmful for the boys am sure- the age limits are there for a reason, nay?
when mine have arrived home with whatever game they have borrowed from their dad , if its unsuitable i explain why and take it off them. Makes me feel like the bad guy but its for their protection and in years to come they will realise this. ( i hope)

Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:41

Bizbee, the problem is, I've given in to so many things already, for example, wrestling games, and now I've given in to PSP games because all the kids are playing them in school and I can't seem to get away from them. I'm not too much of a stickler but there are some things that are quite clearly entirely inappropriate viewing for children, for example Little Britain, much of it even makes me cringe. Last weekend he came home with paintball guns (without the paint balls and exP won't be likely to buy him anymore - I'll have to pay for that), he also bought him a mobile phone, which I was totally against, but I gave in because I knew he wouldn't buy him any top up credit and I'm not about to give in to that one - no way. These are all examples of things I think a child should not have, but there's no discussing anything with the ex and I don't want to have a dialogue (fight) with him anyway. I'll just take them off DS and put them away and not say anything to exP.

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NameChange1234 · 03/04/2011 12:42

It sounds irritating, but Little Britain isn't that bad. In fact it's just the sort of purile crap I would have thought kids would like. Ignore it and ensure it gets 'lost' without making a fuss.

Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:49

Namechange, kids do love it, mine loves David Walliams and the other one, can't remember his name, he is very funny, but I don't think it's all appropriate for little eyes. Good idea to ignore it and losing it. I do need to learn to make less of a fuss. Thanks

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Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 12:55

The book he was given (by the ex's mother) has 'how to get an erection and keep it and make her want more' to name a few. Jesus, it's insane - why would anyone buy a child a book with those themes?

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Bogeyface · 03/04/2011 12:56

OMG NO!!!!!!! She really gave him a book called that?!

I have heard some stunners over the years with inappropriate gifts but you win that, hands down!

Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 16:48

Bogey, no, not named that, it's a chapter within the book. I'm sure she just didn't realise or read the contents page and note that the content was quite so explicit. I'm sure it wasn't on purpose. I do feel annoyed that no one checked the content though to be honest.

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bizbee30 · 03/04/2011 16:56

bettyboo are you sure your ex isnt also my ex lol, he bought the boys a phone a couple of years ago. it is so hard to deal with this kind of stuff when a conversation with the father is out of the question. whenever i mentioned anything to their dad i just got abusive and threatening replies. I too have let so much 'water under the bridge' but of course in his eyes he is perfect and can do no wrong
I cant believe it about the book! mad!

HerHissyness · 03/04/2011 17:09

Ebay is your friend.

Original poster

bettiboo · 03/04/2011 17:12

bizbee, it would seem there are a few of them about. I see so much of my ex in many of the posts on here. And yes, my ex thinks he's the best dad that ever lived despite having his DS a token couple of hours a week and one overnight stay a month. He reduced his contact from 10 nights a month to one overnight a month and paid a solicitor to let me know. What a man, what a fabulous dad!! Not that I'm bitter or anything.

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