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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to tell me OH I'm not cleaning the house on mothering sunday.

28 replies

sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 12:06

Bit of background, I'm self employed from home, cottage industry. I work 7 days a week in some form or another, actual orders through the day, admin, answering emails in the evening and sourcing fabric etc frequently until about 10.30pm at night. I have 2 kids, 4 and 6yo, for whom I am the main carer outside of school hours, as DH works out of the home and isnt home until 7-8pm most nights by which time kids are fed, bathed and having bedtime story. Friday night the kids had a sleepover at MIL, came back yesterday evening. I had intended to clean the house yesterday so I could have a day off today. Woke up yesterday morning with a lovely head cold and spent the day on the sofa feeling sorry for myself, and reading a book in between answering emails.
Today I am up and about and have been working on orders all morning, OH has taken kids to church, I didnt go as didnt want to share my lurgi with all the frail elderly folk etc etc.
He has just come home from church and asked me what time I am knocking off work - I ask why (thinking that maybe he's planning to cook dinner what with it being mothering sunday and all) but he says he wants to know when I am going to make a start on the house.
AIBU to tell him (politely but firmly) in front of the kids that he can s*d off if he thinks I am doing the housework on Mothering Sunday! I dont expect him to do it either if he doesnt want to, it can wait until later on in the week when I'm feeling better! I will say in my defence, its not really untidy, with the exception of my work room which is a tip but will be cleaned up when I finish working

OP posts:
StickyProblem · 03/04/2011 12:10

YANBU. Get him told. If untidiness bothers him so much he can tidy it himself.
You are working phenomenally long hours IMO, remember to take some time for yourself today.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 03/04/2011 12:11

He asked you?

When you are ill?

When you are going to clean the house?

WHy can't he do it?

Flisspaps · 03/04/2011 12:11

Absolutely not.

Have a lovely day Grin

BeakerTheMuppetMuppet · 03/04/2011 12:11
Hmm

i think i'd be telling him to sod off, whatever day it was

but you know that don't you?

ask him if his hands are painted on, if they aren't then he should clean the fricking house if he wants it done.

sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 12:12

in his defence, he does do his fair share of the housework, its just I dont want to do my share today, and I sort of expected him to realise that!

OP posts:
cornsilkily · 03/04/2011 12:13

cheeky fecker! Shock

Flisspaps · 03/04/2011 12:13

Pfft Because he works outside the home you see, and the OP is at home all day (never mind the fact that she's working!)

walesblackbird · 03/04/2011 12:15

I think you need to remind him in no uncertain terms that it's Mother's Day and as such you intend to take it easy and fully expect that he and the children will be waiting on you!

Still waiting for that to happen here................

PfftTheMagicDragon · 03/04/2011 12:25

ahh right, Fliss, I should have known - he's been doing important MAN things

sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 12:26

lol at doing MANLY things - he's going to the allotment to dig it over this afternoon actually, very manly

OP posts:
chocoholic · 03/04/2011 12:30

YANBU. I'm not doing mine either Smile

Mutt · 03/04/2011 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

darleneconnor · 03/04/2011 12:32

Why are so many people on Mumsnet married to such ?

Mutt · 03/04/2011 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 12:39

Mutt - I didnt need to ask the question, I KNOW I'm not being unreasonable, but I wanted some other opinions to show him that he is Smile Thankyou all!

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 03/04/2011 12:43

He actually asked you when you were going to tidy the house? I'm flabbergasted! Even without the ill/Mothers day thing.

JemAndTheHolograms · 03/04/2011 12:44

Yes he's BU but you know that. My DH works out the home all week, I'm a SAHM and don't work from home like you, he's doing all the housework today without being prompted. (I've trained him well over the years Wink)

fatlazymummy · 03/04/2011 13:19

darleneconnor this sort of thing is quite common out in the real world. My ex husband never lifted a finger in the house and I know plenty of other couples where this was normal. It's good to hear that things are different in some families though.

RitaMorgan · 03/04/2011 13:26

Why did he ask you?

Can't imagine that's a question my dp would ever ask, or I'd ask him. We're both grown-ups and don't need to be told to tidy up like children.

easterbunnyhopsback · 03/04/2011 13:31

Short of divorcing him, if my dh asked when I was going to 'start the house', I would introduce him to a hoover and duster, and tell him that if he found it difficult, I would be available to give helpful and labour-saving advice.

thumbwitch · 03/04/2011 13:42

YANBU - and a swift kick to the nuts wouldn't go amiss after such a question, especially when you are unwell, never mind it being Mother's Day!
Cheeky git. Shock

sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 13:55

Ok ladies, we have a result, he has read your comments, bowed to your greater wisdom, and agrees he was being a teensy bit U to want me to do it today. So I'm now sitting down with a cuppa (made by him) and enjoying a bit of well earned MN.

OP posts:
sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 13:56

thumbwitch - I actually did try to kick him in the nuts once, but the unsporting bugger crossed his legs and I ended up kicking his shin and broke my foot.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 03/04/2011 14:02

I shouldn't snurk at that, but I did - it's kind of poetic really! Grin I bet he laughed too, didn't he... Hope you got him back later!

FWIW - I have many times threatened DH with kicking him in the nuts but never have nor would follow through with it and he knows it.

sickoftheholidays · 03/04/2011 14:14

he did think it funny at first, but then after spending 4 weeks waiting on me hand and foot as I was in plaster/on crutches, he was laughing on the other side of his face. Revenge was sweet as I asked him to make me a cup of tea for the 10th time in a day......

OP posts: