FIL hasn't bothered with us for a few years since him and MIL divorced after 25 years of marriage and we moved around the corner from her when I was pregnant with DC1 out of purely financial reasons.
He refused our christmas day invitations several times, which upset my husband a lot, and told us he can't spend time with us because we are on MIL's "side".
We moved somewhere else in november, and have seen him a few times since, but DS didn't know who he was and treated him that way.
A couple of weeks ago he started turning up on saturday mornings, out of the blue, and just expected to be let in, have me (now almost 38 weeks pg) make him tea and lunch and act as if nothing had ever happened.
My husband works saturday mornings, so it's up to me to keep FIL entertained, and we never got on anyway, because he's mysogynistic, a touch racist and I am female and "a foreigner" (nevermind the fact that nobody would know if he didn't keep telling them).
Yesterday he turned up at lunchtime, but we weren't home. We were an hour's drive away, shopping. Queue phonecalls and voicemails on both our mobiles. Where are you, when are you coming back, why aren't you here.
He was outside our door when we got back 5 hours later, at dinnertime.
I was tired, grumpy and had terrible indigestion, and SPD pain.
He hands DS, who is 20 months old, two big bags of tesco's chocolate buttons, one of them open, sits down on the sofa and says "two teabags, milk, no sugar. wow, your living room needs hoovering. what have you been doing all week?" Rinse, repeat, for the next 2 hours.
I took a few buttons out of the bag, put them in a bowl and put the bag where DS couldn't reach it. Went to the kitchen, came back, DS was sat on the floor with the bag, surrounded by chocolate buttons.
My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable, and that his dad is only trying to make up for lost time.
I don't know if FIL deserves that attitude, especially when he's feeding my son chocolate in our house without asking, and treats me the way he does.
AIBU?