To think that, at 37, I have never looked better & to wish we would all STOP IT with the crappy threads about weight/looks etc & enjoy the fact WE ARE

[spiderslegs]

Really - I may have looked more dewy when I was 19 but I've never looked better. I have beautiful friends who moan about their arses/wrinkles but from what I can see, their husband's worship them. Woman in their prime are the most sexy things - please don't waste it with ridiculous worries.

I want a plump mouth! And to be a sylph! I'm only 30 and already tending towards ropiness at times.

Well I'm 43 and wrinkles are settling in but I'm with you op - never felt better. It's all about attitude and confidence so often lacking in our youth ( certainly in mine). I'm not a great beauty but I feel good, I am loved and I feel good about myself whatever the hair is doing :)

Beating yourself up over looks etc is a waste of time and soul destroying. why undermine ourselves like that!

It's that awful time though hiphop where you're walking down the street and feeling OK and suddenly have an overwhelming fear that you look ridiculous but nobody's told you.

I try and dampen it down with I don't care/nobody notices how you look etc, but once you've thought it it's hard to ignore.

Zigzag

They don't

That's my point.

You probably look fabulous.

P'raps it's because I'm so judgemental of other people spiders?

My own fault.

(I loathe your MN name, no offence )

Eeek - but I have them

I loathe the society that deems them improprietous.

Agent - is that you???

It's actual spiders legs I don't like to be reminded of, so apologies for casting a slur on your legs

Did you mean me on the other thread when you said I'm your librarian friend?

Yes - are you my librarian friend??

You are you aren't you ZigZag

I do have a passion for books, but no, I'm not a librarian

What was it I said that made you think I was your RL friend?

Ahh - because - I challanged her to come on here & find me - & the book she gave me for World Book Night, was, Agent ZigZag

hehe brilliant!

I loved the book and the man, a real rough diamond and very brave/stupid

Maybe your friend chickened out when she saw the hostility that is AIBU?

Your thread is nice though.

Nah - don't think Jayne would have chickened out re agent ZigZag.

Nor my DH - He works for the MOD.

Right - agent ZigZag

Back to the thread.

Haha, well you may well look the best you ever have right now but I certainly don't and I'm willing to bet large numbers of people here don't either. So I don't think the weight/looks threads are crappy at all. I think you're being unreasonable.

I'm not convinced that I look my very best just at this moment, but I certainly agree that it's garbage to wallow in negativity. Just get on with feeling the most positive you can- it's not likely to get better.

I am 42 and have never felt better about myself, my life or my looks.

Everyone who has known me for years all say the sane thing to me 'you've never looked better or happier.'

And that's with some fairly serious health issues and a toddler!!

Yanbu. The worst threads are the love hate-ins entitled "what do you hate about your body?". So depressing and anyone over the age of 30 indulging in such nonsense loses one gold star.

I would say the same goes for under 30 alpinepony. I am under 30 and dont understand that either. Love yourself or no one else will

I agree with the OP. I'm 37 in May, and in terms of my appearance, I've never felt better. I finally know what clothes suit me, and I have the confidence to wear them. I sorted myself out a statement haircut when I was 35, which detracts attention from the worst of the damage just below it! I feel comfortable in my skin, even though I'm about a stone heavier than I'd like to be, I'm not going to cry about it.

I think it helps that I wasn't particularly attractive when I was young. I look at my wedding photos and see a gawky child with bad hair and awful teeth, not some lithe goddess.

Since I've been in my thirties I've had my teeth done, learned about clothes and found my mojo!

I refuse to get scared about 40 - especially as my poor grandma didn't even make it that far...

You are not unreasonable to feel you have personally found your mojo, and look better than ever, but you are unreasonable to think everyone else should feel the same. No amount of dim lighting will change the fact that I don't look the best aged 40ish, at 20 I was extremely slim and wore sexy nice clothes, and didn't have a double-chin. Not everyone was an ugly duckling who turned into a swan late-thirties, I am more like a swan who turned into an older swan whose feathers are a bit dull and has seen better days.

I don't mind how I look now, and I choose not to spend much time on appearance as I have more interesting things to do (I still wear nice clothes and put on a layer of make-up at 8am but that's it). But I'm not kidding myself I am more alluring at this age.

I think it's a lot to do with how hot you were in your youth. I was a total dork until I was about 33!

Also, I think gorgeous young women rely on their looks a bit more, so it's likely to come as a shock when they start to fade.

Whereas those who were a bit more allure-deficient are enjoying a more level playing field!

Great thread OP. I just couldn't care less whether I look good or not. I'd much rather be healthy and intelligent than a good looker. Personally speaking, there's more important things in the world to be worrying about than lines/wrinkles and how to avoid/get rid of them. I wouldn't even contemplate cosmetic surgery for vanity, that's an absolute NO in my books. It's too much risk and there's no guarantee that I'd feel better about myself.

My mum helped me not to care how I look in an unusual way. When I started to have bad skin as a teenager and got really worried about it, I was moaning one day to her and she said "Really honestly Writer, no one cares." I, being a melodramatic teenager, was building up to a huge strop when she explained herself. As she said, everyone is worried about how they themselves look and they really couldn't give a shit how I look. So while I'm worried about my spots, Jane is worried about her fat bum, Kelly is worried about her flabby tummy and so on. So we're all trapped in our worried bubbles believing that everyone else is looking and judging us when in fact no one is. And even if someone is judging, why should we care? People who actually know us and care for us won't think less of us for having a fat ass or bad skin, in fact they probably won't even notice.

So nowadays I've been known to leave the house without looking in the mirror. Yes sometimes it results in me walking around with birds nest hair (sometimes forget to brush it) or my fly open (happened yesterday oops) but I don't waste time and brain space worrying about what anyone else thinks of my looks. I often get complimented so clearly I'm not hideous. I do like looking nice now and again but my lack of concern means that when I do scrub up I do feel like I look great and I really enjoy it.