....Dp thinks I am!
Just to give you a bit of background, I have been with DP for 8 years and until DS was born 2 years ago I was the main breadwinner - partly because he earns less than me (which I have no problem with) but mainly because he was unable to hold a job down and had several periods out of work. He also ran up a about £15k of debts behind my back.
We split up briefly 3.5 years ago as I was sick about all the lies. He persuaded me to give things another go. It didn't start well as within a few months he was 'asked to leave'. He only got another job a couple of months before DS was born. In fairness he is still in this job and really seems to be making a go of it. He also handed over complete responsibility for his finances - he has his own account but as soon as he gets paid, I make sure all the bills are paid and tell him what's left. Not ideal I know but it seems to work for us.
I had 8 months off with DS and then decided to set up my own business as I didn't want to return to work full time. The business grew very quickly and I was soon working more hours than in my previous role. I felt like I wasn't doing justice to work or DS.
I decided to sell the business and since have just been doing some irregular part time work to make ends meet. DP has questioned a couple of time how we can manage with me working part time but then isn't interested when I try and go through the figures with him.
I have been very fortunate and have just been offered a great job, 24 hours a week. The pay is a bit less than I was on before but then the responsibilty is less too which suits me fine! It is still good money, great benefits and most importantly they are happy for me to choose my hours. I have decided to do 3 days a week for now and DS will go to nursery in the mornings and my lovely mum will have him in the afternoons. When he goes to school I will probably change to 5 short days so I can pick him up from school.
Anyway, out of the blue D has suddenly announced that he isn't happy with me working 3 days a week - he says that we didn't discuss it and he assumed I would be going back full time and that he is sick of being skint.
I am really pissed off with him for several reasons.
Firstly I had always made it clear I didn't want to go back full time - that's why I didn't go back to my old job. If he objected, why didn't he say before
Secondly, we may of had to tighten our belts but we are not skint - in fact I dont think we are much worse off than before DS. We live in a ordinary but lovely house, all the bills get paid and we have enough left over to spend on what we want (within reason but then neither of us have very extravagent taste). Personally tightening our belts as a small sacrifice in order to spend more time with DS while he is so small. Don't get me wrong, of course if we needed me to I would go back full time. I would do whatever it takes.
Finally, DP doesn't work long hours (technically 37.5 a week but normally more like 30ish). I am also keeping on one of my private jobs as well as the 3 days a week so between the two will be working pretty much the same hours, and earning and contributing the same as him. So if he is suddenly so concerned about our finances, why doesn't he get another job?
His answer is just thinks it makes sense as we would have more spare cash and I have the ability to earn more than him. Btw its not because he wants to be at home with DS. He loves him to bits but admits he struggles when he has him all day! I think that he just a bit jealous that I get two days off!