To be fed up of family wanting me to have a baby boy

[CJ2010]

I am pregnant with DC2, already have a DD.

I am going to find out the sex of my baby at the 20 week scan and I have no preference. I shall be grateful for a healthy baby, but both sides of the family are really pissing me off by saying they 'want' a boy next.

FIL, esp. He said 'I hope it's a boy, it what I want' When I enquired as to why 'well we don't want the surname to die out do we?' Personally I couldn't give a toss.

FFS!!!

I think it's totally natural for people to have a preference, especially when it's not their baby.

I think you should tell them that you don't care what they hope for, and ask them if they are not going to love a girl.

It is horribly rude.

I don't know what you feel as I had girl then boy and no one gave me pressure, but I would say butt out I'm having it for me not you and I want healthy baby!!!! I probably wouldn't be brave enough to say it really. The only thing I can suggest is that you try to take no notice and maybe ask DH to say something on your behalf - remember you want a stress free pregnancy!!!

yanbu - I have three boys (the third being born after 8 years and 2 miscariages) and I was amazed at the number of people, some of them close family and friends, who made comments such as "what a shame, another boy" or "you'll have to try again now."

I think it's really rude.

When I was in hospital after having my son, there was a lovely woman in the bed opposite me who had just had twin boys. She explained to me how she had been through several failed attempts at IVF and never thought she would be a mum, so felt delighted and blessed to have two beautiful babies. Her mother arrived to see them and walked over to the cot, peeked at them, and said very loudly, "Well there goes my chance to ever have a granddaughter." Her daughter looked crushed and I could cheerfully have slapped her.

YANBU.

When I was pregnant with my second child all I heard from a lot of people was how I must really want a boy as already had a dd.

My pregnancy was horrific. Constant sickness, spd etc. All I wanted was a healthy baby. We did not find out the sex ,as baby did not want us to know!

After a horrific very fast labour, where baby had breathing difficulties and I ended up with another third degree tear our second daughter arrived. We were so happy. At 4 days old she was rushed to hospital by ambulance with breathing problems and very nearly died.

When she recovered someone from eldest daughter's preschool turned around and said What a shame you had another girl, will you try for a boy now? It will complete your family.

I will not tell you what I said, maybe not printable lol.

We are very happy with our 2 girls, there will be no more additions to our family. We do not feel we are missing out, and thankfully family have been besotted with our new baby girl as well.

Good luck with whatever sex baby you have, as long as healthy it really does not matter xxxx

Perhaps they mean that they would like your next to be a boy, but won´t really be that bothered if baby is another girl.

I think a lot of the time it´s just things people say, without thinking & without really meaning it.

I wanted my first to be a boy-that would have been my choice if I could have made it.
But realistically, I didn´t mind either way ixswim.

Good job that there´s only two sorts!

oh i get this all the time.im pregnant on my fourth girl and we couldnt be happier,but the out-laws keep saying its a pity we arnt having a boy.

after having my second dd she was rushed to special care (premature),and my third went into distress and i had a crash section.so i am thankful that my baby will hopefully get here safe and i coudnt give a sugaring shite whats between its legs.

I can see both sides to be honest. It's innocent enough that people have a preference (after 2 girls, I want a boy this time) but if they are getting on your nerves or if it feels like they're belittling one sex over another then do by all means tell them so.

Tell your FIL that you've decided to give the next baby your maiden name as a surname

After 2 boys I would have quite liked a girl, but not enough to not want a boy, obviously! We found out the sex at the 20 week scan just so I could fend off all the comments I knew we'd get. I'd swear DS3 was having a little fiddle during the scan! So after that I could tell people that I actually didn't mind, but 'felt sure it was another boy,' just to get them to shut up about girls. God, it's lovely having 3 boys. You just love what you get.

I wonder whether people actually think you have a say when they make such stupid comments. According to DH's family I had my kids in the wrong order .

My FIL says the same thing, but it doesn't really worry me. I think it's a lot to do with the fact that he's got 6 dgd and 1 dgs and would have liked more boys around. But I also know that he absolutely worships every one of those children regardless of their brand - they can do no wrong in his eyes. So, he will be thrilled if we produce another dg, and it would just be the cherry on top if the baby (that we are still ttc!) turned out to be a boy. I know that my dh would love a boy, but that's a lot to do with knowing his dad wants one. Again, he adores our dd and although he admits to wanting a boy next time, I know that he will adore another dd just as much.
I don't let it worry me. I would be happy if we could just get ourselves a baby and if someone else has a frisson of disappointment that it's the wrong brand, I don't care- it's their problem. I know that it won't last past the first second of seeing the baby!!

Millie30, that is a really sad anecdote!

I wish you had hauled yourself across the ward and slapped her. That would have been hilarious (in a cartoon sort of way)

OP if you do have a DS please announce him as baby your maiden name. See FIL's face then :)

I hate this stuff.

If you're odd enough to really, really want it to be one sex over the other then at least keep it to yourself.

I've got 2 dd's and my Mum did a big "urgh" dissapointed sigh when I said second was a dd. It actually sickened me, still does.

Some twat came to my door to deliver something the other day and while my DD1 one was there said "oh, my daughter is due to have my second grandchild soon. I really hope it's a boy as she had a daughter last time and it's not what I wanted".

I replied "how lovely, my other daughter is asleep upstairs actually".

to anyone who thinks it's ok to be rude like this.

I have 3 ds.

My FIL announced ds3's birth to the relatives in an email (not important enough to pick up the phone) as follows...

X and Y have had the baby. It's another boy.

And that was that, no joy, no excitement, no baby is handsome ( he was ) no baby is adorable ( he was ) no we are thrilled ( I was ).

It hurt.

I sympathise OP, I really do.

FWIW, having 2 or 3 or even 12 of the same sex is farking lovely as each of my boys effectively has 2 best mates that have sleepovers together every night. So, FIL, stick that in your dgd pipe & smoke it.

CJ2010 you have my sympathy, i have recently had ds number three, and got sick to the back teeth of hearing oh well never mind, from mums in the play ground to complete chuffing strangers!!! ffs what the matter with them, fil even had the cheek to say keep trying and you might get a gir!!!!! Congratualtions on your expanding familyxxx

Point out to him that HIS SON'S SPERM are the clincher in detirmining gender, not you!

My late mother openly favoured my brother over me and was thrilled when I had a boy. Then again, my late mother was a moron.

I really hope you have a healthy, happy, adorable BABY!

HOW annoying. I had a gorgeous little girl 4 months ago, and family/friends/complete strangers think it's completely fine to say "you'll be hoping the next one's a boy, then". I've started saying "actually, I'm quite hoping it's a monkey".