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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there are some false friends in RL HERE

32 replies

everthebeliver · 01/04/2011 23:53

After reading a particular post tonight about benefit fraud and a "close friend" I am gobsmacked that someone who say's she is a "close friend" would even consider reporting her for benefit fraud. If she was running a multi million pound company and claiming then fair enough, or even if it was a neighbour ten doors down that she has no friendship with, but your best friend!!!!
I am so glad that I have not really made RL friends here because I would not know who to trust and that is said in the nicest possible way :)

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 01/04/2011 23:59

I don't think you can claim to be anyone's "true friend" if you are ripping them (and the rest of the country) off by falsely claiming benefits.

In any 'should I report this person for benefit fraud?' thread, it is the fraudster who is in the wrong.

PurveyorOfBologna · 02/04/2011 00:02

YABU.

Thread about a thread says it all

Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:03

Trillian: Do you not think it depends on circumstances in this economic climate though? You have someone that is on benefits through no fault of thier own and does not have enough to live on, so they have to do what they do to put food in the fridge. If someone is living in luxury, renting out houses etc then of course it is a different senario, but I am talking getting by day to day. I would not report my best friend whatever she did it is as simple as that. What ever happened to love thy neighbour

OP posts:
Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:05

Purveyor: you are entitled to your opinion take care :)

OP posts:
Portofino · 02/04/2011 00:05

I think the anonymity of MN sometimes appeals to the Jeremy Kyle attention stylee poster. But this is the internet. Sometimes if you google a hot topic it takes you straight to a MN thread. I have several RL friends that I have made via MN. I have a general rule that I never post anything on the internet that I would not want in the public arena.

AgentZigzag · 02/04/2011 00:07

I haven't read the other thread , but I think I know what you're saying.

Unless the person was thinking of ending the friendship, they'd report them then sit back and watch the fall out, giving appropriate sympathy at the same time.

Doesn't sound right friendly to me.

PurveyorOfBologna · 02/04/2011 00:08

Oooh queen of the PA smiley

I will take care thank you, just in case of pot holes and the like. Cheers.

TrillianAstra · 02/04/2011 00:09

I don't judge differently based on whether people are on benefits "through no fault of their own" as you seem to.

I judge based on whether people are breaking the law.

Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:11

Portofino: I am not a Jeremy Kyle Poster I was just posting a opinion, I assume on MN that i am allowed to do that :). After reading posts on the other thread I thought I would post, no big crime. Although I am confused about posting about another thread. Is this not allowed????

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 02/04/2011 00:12

That sounds very black and white trillian.

Have you never broken the law at any time in your life?

Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:15

purveyor: I meant no offence by the way was trying to keep this light, have enough battles to face in RL let alone on the internet.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 02/04/2011 00:17

I would never report anyone

especially a friend

people who do are not friends

PurveyorOfBologna · 02/04/2011 00:19

Ach, I've had too much wine tonight. No offence taken. Smile

Portofino · 02/04/2011 00:20

everthebeliever...I didn't mean YOU! I meant the OP on the other thread that you (probably misguidely) did a thread about a thread to discuss.....

Portofino · 02/04/2011 00:21

misguidedly I meant....

Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:22

Thank's Usual, times are hard enough as it is without everyone turning on each other.

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usualsuspect · 02/04/2011 00:25

Yep ...its not black and white is it

all this report your neighbours and friends bollocks

wheres the big report the tax evaders campaigns?

err ..no where

tethersend · 02/04/2011 00:28

Well, I say report the made-up scroungers, friends or otherwise.

usualsuspect · 02/04/2011 00:30

me too tethers

report everyone just in case

Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:33

Tethersend: I think that is easier said than done to be honest, I made a comment on a thread that my best friend is cheating the system, but she is on sickness benefit and just does not have enough to live on so she looks after her neice a couple of days a week for £50.00 which does her food shopping. She is my best friend and I would never dream in a million years to report her. In fact I know that she "at the moment" would never get a job that could give her a decent standard of living and that is what this goverment has done to people. Old story I know but very true :)

OP posts:
SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 02/04/2011 00:36

OP I read the thread you refer to and got the impression she was asking if she should report or not. I decided to not offer an opinion as it seemed to me that someone I would be close to in RL as in someone I refer to as a close friend is already aware of my opinion on any given subject. That's the difference to me. Rather than someone who is an acquaintance or colleague, or neighbour iyswim.

AgentZigzag · 02/04/2011 00:37

I know I'm going along with Godwins law, but it does sounds a bit Nazi/Stasi informerish?

If I could get really worked up about it I'd try and persuade the friend to stop their fiddling ways.

The only thing I'd come close to reporting a friend over would be if I thought their DC was at risk of serious harm.

And that would be after trying to help them out as best I could and I really feared for the child.

tethersend · 02/04/2011 00:38

The thing is ever, your friend actually exists, and that was her first mistake.

All the best feckless scroungers bleeding hardworking taxpayers dry know that it's best only to exist in the minds of those with an axe to grind.

tethersend · 02/04/2011 00:39

It's not Godwin's Law if it's relevant to the discussion, Agent.

It's not hyperbole.

Original poster
everthebeliver · 02/04/2011 00:44

Agentzigzag: Do you not think it a shame that we have become a society that we even report "our friends" to SS, Benefit sytem, etc. I just find it so sad that some people think they have best friends in RL yet really they are prepared to ruin what little life they have by reporting them. I WILL REPEAT I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT RUNNING MAJOR COMPANIES, RENTING OUT HOUSES ETC, i am talking about just getting by. Bringing in a little extra to get a proper food shop etc

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