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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About a mother bringing a playpen in the pool change room?

87 replies

GotArt · 01/04/2011 23:30

A mother comes weekly with her 10 month old, (I know this because she's always talking loudly to the her DD about how amazed she is by her being 10 months old, I heard it when she was 9 months and I reckon we'll all know when she turns 11 months, but anyhow) bringing with her a playpen that she sets up which does nothing but creates havoc as you can barely make it around this damn thing. Its 4x5 feet. The family change room is also the disability facilities and right now is very busy as well due to renovations of the change rooms, so is only for women, so lots more traffic. The woman also has a large stroller which she straps the car seat into and brings all this into the change room. She puts the stroller in front of a set of lockers, opens up the playpen, takes her DD out of the car seat/stroller and plops her in the playpen long enough to take her swimming gear out of her bag and a blanket, picks up her DD, and heads into the change stall, all this space within a step of each other. She changes, changes her DD and comes out, plops DD back in playpen, sorts out a locker, picks up DD to put back in stroller, folds up playpen and heads out to the pool. She completely spreads out over a whole 6 foot long bench and got pissy with me today because I asked if she wouldn't mind making some room for my DD to sit on the bench. A big huff and slamming around of her stuff. I quite honestly asked nicely too. When its time to get out, she does the same routine, although the playpen is set up longer as she is showering and such in the stall. The stall is by far large enough to wheel in the stroller, but she leaves it in front of the lockers and gets pissy with anyone, even staff, when it gets moved so people can get to their lockers, rightfully. Today, there was 3 disabled people and their carers there and you couldn't get their chairs around this damn thing. I'm familiar with one of the carers as we go swimming weekly, at the same time they do, (the woman in question I see on Mondays, but she came this Friday) and she asked "who's the heck is this?" I pointed to the stall and said "she's in there. She brings it every time. A bit extreme, IMO." She agreed, we chuckled and exchanged faces. I moved the playpen so she could get by and put the playpen back. Aside from the irritating things she says to her DD that make me cringe, like when she starts fussing, "Oh, little dudette, chillax." [grrr], AIBU to think that she should have some common decency to see how she is inconveniencing people. How can someone be that thick to not notice? DH thinks I should complain to staff, but really, it just annoys me more than anything, but should I complain on the behalf of others in this.

OP posts:

EricNorthmansMistress · 02/04/2011 08:34

you can strike out a sentence by putting them only at the ends now

YANBU, I think the staff need to have a word. And 'chillax, dudette'? YABU not to want to smother the woman....

activate · 02/04/2011 08:41

woman is a twat

complain to the staff and ask them to ask her not to bring a playpen as child can stay in car seat or stroller and she should only bring one of them in too

also take a piece of celery to whack her with next time she says chillax or dudette - no court in the land would convict you

LifeIsButtercream · 02/04/2011 10:00

What I am struggling with is, if the baby can sit strapped into the buggy while the mum changes, why bring the playpen? I used to take my DD swimming, at that age, I would just take the buggy into a cubicle, flatten out the seat, change DD on the buggy seat, strap her back in while I changed and then (cos it was permitted) take the buggy out poolside. I'm stumped by her apparent need to bring a playpen too!

In a nutshell - YANBU, and also about the "chillax dudette" terminology - I had a friend who used to refer to her 10m old as "sexy", I always struggled not to wince.

hecate · 02/04/2011 10:08

Why don't you just tell her that she's selfish and all her shit is getting in everyone's way and she's not actually more important than those around her so she needs to have a bit of consideration.

Or change the day/time you go so you are not there at the same time she is?

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/04/2011 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/04/2011 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plopplopquack · 02/04/2011 10:14

What a mentalist! She doesn't need the playpen if she has the buggy.

Also taking up so much room that disabled people have no space?! Selfish woman.

Complain about her and say about the problem she's causing disabled people.

I was also be tempted to fold up the play pen when she's not looking (not with the kid inside!) Or shove it inside a cubicle.

plopplopquack · 02/04/2011 10:15

"sexy"?!?!?!?! Yuk

Tryharder · 02/04/2011 10:16

"chillax dudette"

For that alone YANBU

plopplopquack · 02/04/2011 10:16

"chillax dudette"

What does that even mean?

worraliberty · 02/04/2011 10:32

You could have cut your OP in half if you'd left out all the really petty comments.

Fact is, yes she's being selfish and unreasonable. Mind you, if the staff have noticed her and 3 carers and disabled people couldn't get their chairs around her...yet still no-one has complained, perhaps the problem doesn't affect anyone else as much as you think?

Either way, if it's that much of a problem then complain on your own behalf...don't bring anyone else in to it.

risingstar · 02/04/2011 10:33

could she possibly be trying to send a message to the swimming pool staff that THEY SHOULD PROVIDE A PLAY PEN?

is it possible that she has asked for one, been told no/cant/wont and thought SOD YOU, ill bring my own then?

maybe staff wont tackle because of this. maybe she wants everyone to complain about her to get some action?

shakey1500 · 02/04/2011 10:39

YANBU- it's convenient for her, fair enough, but seemingly inconvenient for many others. I'm also puzzled as to how she carries it all-nightmare surely?

I struggled just with a swim bag and ds, and whoever said it above ^^ is spot on, the logistics of just getting ready for the pool are mighty.

GandTiceandaslice · 02/04/2011 10:41

Why doesn't she just use the pram?
Strange woman.

BranchingOut · 02/04/2011 10:45

Wow, lots of pools don't let you bring prams into the changing rooms....

Bizarre.

4madboys · 02/04/2011 10:49

very odd, she is being a bit precious? she need the pram or the playpen, not both.

most swimming pools do seem to have a play pen in the family changing room and most do NOT let you take a pushchair into the changing rooms, ours has funny revolving doors that only let one person through at a time (you can just squeeze a small child infront with you) so no way could you carry in a child and playpen etc.

so yanbu to find it annoying but the attitude/tone of your op is also annoying hth :)

TeaOneSugar · 02/04/2011 10:53

I used to think I carried around too much stuff when my dd was little, but this week I saw a toddler in the swimming pool cafe with her doll in a toy high chair, who carries a high chair for a doll from the car park (presumably) and up two flights of stairs?

Surely if the doll really needed a high chair she could have used one of the many many high chairs the cafe provides? This was in the evening so very few babies/toddlers around needing high chairs.

From what I could see she wasn't even eating.

blighter · 02/04/2011 10:55

she sounds like a really annoying stupid cow, i would have to tell her although not quite as bluntly as that. sounds to me as if she isn't coping with motherhood that well and is over compensating for what is going on underneath her neurosis ie over doing it, as if she is scared that her kid might kick off in public

AccioPinotGrigio · 02/04/2011 11:01

YANBU. She could just use the stroller. I think I would ask the pool manager to provide a playpen.

canihavemypocketmoney · 02/04/2011 11:07

The staff you see there may not have the authority to ask this pita woman to shift her stuff (eg cleaning staff) but why don't you speak to the management at the pool. Take a pic of all the space wasting paraphernalia and send it in an email to whoever's in charge. Let them sort it out as I'm sure they will have to deal with it.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/04/2011 11:13

She would annoy me too.

If she is blocking access in the accessible changing area she should be told.

Sounds like she hasnt really got much else going on so has to make a big deal of every bloody thing she does with her child.

Good for her, she takes him swimming.

Does sound like you are more than usually pissed off with her though gotart, come on tell us why you really hate her

violethill · 02/04/2011 11:25

I agree with MrsDeVere.

She sounds like she hasn't got much else going on in her life if she has to make such a big deal, and she also doesn't sound as though she's coping that well, if she has to do all this just to take one child swimming!

Pity her.

(And speak to the staff, whose job it is to deal with her)

ChaoticAngelofDenial · 02/04/2011 11:29

Just be glad she doesn't have twins

YANBU speak to management.

Stricnine · 02/04/2011 11:30

I would certainly raise it with the staff... if it's causing that much interference to others then both buggy and playpen could be classed as a fire hazard etc .. most of these places are really hot on being able to evacuate an area safely - and maybe is why they don't provide a play pen (must admit my swimming pool does, but tucked away out of passing traffic/lockers)..
Definately YANBU

colditz · 02/04/2011 11:34

Oh big woop, she takes a baby swimming

I used to do this with my 10 month old and my clinically hyperactive nearly 4 year old.

You go on cubicle. Lock door. Place foot on reins of older child, change little child, strap in buggy, change older child, place foot back on reins, get self changed and Go Go GO !

There is no reason why she can't get her baby and herself changed. Even without the buggy, which she clearly does have, she could lock her and baby in a cubicle and sit baby on a towel.

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