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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if any of you has had a near death - or spiritual - experience?

28 replies

suburbanslob · 31/03/2011 22:47

I'm going through a bit of a funny patch at the moment in that I'm worrying a lot about death. Completely morbid I know. I wish I wasn't but I'm quite a skeptic and would love to hear experiences from non crack-pot types.

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everthebeliver · 31/03/2011 22:52

Hi Suburbanslob, I have not had a near death experience but years ago I had the same dream over and over again. I was running down a glass corridor and when I got to the end I could go no further and someone was holding me back. This happened for a long time. My mum used to say that it was some sort of preminition.
Well, years later, my mum was in intensive care and just dying, her organs were giving up etc. When she finally died I remember running out of IC and there was this glass corridor and I hit a brick wall (litterally) and the nurse that had been looking after her was clinging on to me. I feel my mum around me daily and i truly believe she is there in spirit. Do not know if that helps but I do believe in after life I must admit

Original poster

suburbanslob · 31/03/2011 23:02

Thank you everthebeliever. It's lovely to hear you have such faith and that you feel your mum's presence around you. Although I'm quite literally petrified of death I'm finding it hard to believe anything follows as it just seems too good to be true. What's worse is we have a baby on the way and my obsession is kind of taking over the excitement. Your's is a nice experience though, so thank you.

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cloudydays · 31/03/2011 23:03

Hi Suburban. My dad was in intensive care a few years ago after a heart attack & emergency bypass. After a few days of getting better, there was a very scary episode where his heartrate suddenly skyrocketed and he went into cardiac arrest. They got his rhythm back with the defibrillator and he recovered, though he died a while later from related problems :(

But months after the cardiac arrest, he told me that he had never felt better or more at peace than he did when that happened. He was actually angry and a bit depressed at the fact that they'd brought him around and 'ruined' the experience. He said that everything had been bathed in an orange light, and it felt soft, and safe, and he wanted it to go on forever. It's amazing because it all looked awful from where I was (standing at the bedside, scared to death), but it didn't feel awful to him.

I'm know I'm just some internet stranger and as far as you know my dad and I are both crackpots, but I promise you he was the most logical, smart, grounded guy going. And even after the experience, he was somewhat noncommittal about whether it was a spiritual experience or just the experience of the brain starting to shut down, but still he said that all fear of death had gone from him. He said, "I still don't know what's on the other side of death, but now I know that the process is beautiful."

I'm so grateful that he shared that with me. It was an immense comfort when he died, and eases my own anxieties around death.

JsOtherHalf · 31/03/2011 23:08

Just after my mother died, I heard my name being called whilst I was in an empty room. It wasn't her voice, but that of one of my best friends 200 miles away. She had known Mum since we were teenagers.

I believed she didn't want to scare me, so didn't use her own voice.

Original poster

suburbanslob · 31/03/2011 23:09

Thank you Cloudydays! You might be an Internet stranger but you're a nice one :) This is exactly the kind of thing that gives me hope. Some Internet sites scream 'dodgy' but in my experience anyway Mumsnet isn't like that. I'm sorry about the loss of your dad but I hope what he told you has given you faith that he is not 'gone'.

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cloudydays · 31/03/2011 23:13

thanks suburban, it does :)

everthebeliver · 31/03/2011 23:27

Surburbanslob, I truly believe that this is not it, I do not mean to worry or stress you out. I am only in my early forties but I know that when my time is up I will meet my mum and others again. Do not stress out about death or afterlife just enjoy the one you have at the moment
x

Fernie3 · 31/03/2011 23:44

Mine isn't a near death thing (well not exactly) but when I was pregnant with my son I had a dream where my mum (who is dead) was showing me the grave of my baby it had the name that we had chosen on it for him and she was pointing at the grave saying "it's (insert name of my brother who was stillborn)" . I woke up still feeling fine but felt really uneasy the rest if the day, I couldn't relax and so in the end I just made up a story about my baby not moving (he was) so that the midwife would just have a check for me at the day unit. She did and it turned out I had very severe preeclampsia and my son had stopped growing, he was delivered then and the doctor actually said that if I had waited until my next appointment (in a week) that he or me or both may well have been very Ill and may have died Part of me sortof hopes it was my mum looking out for me! Rather than a coincidence.

Onetoomanycornettos · 31/03/2011 23:48

I have, I don't usually talk about it but it was very enjoyable and very reassuring, personally I'm sure it was just being in that semi-conscious state between waking and sleeping, but if I was the religious type (which I am not) I might have described it as a spiritual experience. It was so amazing I'd like it to happen again but sadly, it hasn't!

RedbinD · 31/03/2011 23:49

Carl Sagans' Demons Haunted World is a good read for those of you interested in this sort of thing.

Original poster

suburbanslob · 31/03/2011 23:52

Thanks js for your story :) and thank you everthebeliever for your kind words. I really need to start enjoying this life for the sake of my poor husband!!

Fernie - that's amazing! I'm so glad everything turned out ok for you :) What did your partner/hubby make of it?

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chipmonkey · 31/03/2011 23:54

Fernie, wow!

Original poster

suburbanslob · 31/03/2011 23:57

Oh go on onetoomany - say it was a near death experience :)

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Fernie3 · 31/03/2011 23:59

Dh thinks I'm a bit on spooky side anyway I think he sort of expects that kind of thing!
when I told him about the dream he agreed on going to get checked out and tbh we just have not really talked about it since then ( 4 years ago).

Original poster

suburbanslob · 01/04/2011 00:02

Fernie I think that's a lovely, reassuring story. Thanks for sharing it (oooh I'm starting to sound all new-age now)!

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Original poster

suburbanslob · 01/04/2011 00:03

Will check it out Redbin. Is it scary?

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Original poster

suburbanslob · 03/04/2011 19:44

Bump :)

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Conflugenglugen · 03/04/2011 19:59

Yes, I had a life-changing spiritual experience. My DH would say I'm a bit woo woo, but I actually think I'm very down-to-earth. It has just changed my perspective.

allbie · 03/04/2011 20:02

I had an operation and lost my heart beat and needed resuscitating. There weren't any lights or people waving/calling me. I remember nothing...a bit like before I was born...nothingness. I really find that reassuring, you feel and know nothing so no need to be scared.

myhouseWILLbecleanthisyear · 03/04/2011 20:13

Ive not had a near-death experience or a spirtual experience, but I have been where you are and really really worried about death. It kind of took over my thoughts for a bit.

It started when I woke suddenly one night in May 2009. I dont know why I woke up, but I did and I was petrified. Something was scaring the shit out of me. I couldnt lie there in the dark any more so had to get up (it was 3AM ish). I went downstairs and was washing the dishes and could 'feel' something behind me. I was still really really scared. Now I dont believe that anyone or anything was behind me and I think it was a dream I must have had. It stayed with me for a bit and couldnt get the thought of death out of my head when before I never really gave it a second thought. Obviously Ive always known Im going to die someday, but that night made it more real that I was going to die at some point (in a week, in months or decades away I dont know). Now Im back to knowing it will happen one day, but Ive come to the conclusion that I cant do anything about it and might as well carry on with life and try to enjoy myself as much as I can.

Its all about what you believe. I believe that there is something after and it is good. Ive always had the idea that you find out all sorts of things when you die, from who Jack the ripper was to who fancied you in School and what people really thought about you. I also dont think there's anything negative in death (I mean to you not the people who you've left behind). BUT as I say its all down to beliefs.

ConstanceFelicity · 03/04/2011 20:26

I think it's natural to have these sorts of worries sometimes!

In our family, we have a bit of a post-death garden theme going on! My lovely auntie (who was level-headed, intellegent and had no time for any ghostly nonsense!) was in her old folks' home when she phoned my grandmother to say that she had nearly died in her sleep the night before. "I don't know what it was: I think it must have been my heart. But I went to a wonderful garden, with beautiful flowers! Don't come and visit me, you're busy enough as it is. But I want you to know that the next time I go to that garden, I won't be coming back. I can't wait: I can smell the flowers now!"
She died soon afterwards.

My own mother died young of cancer, and I was with her in the room at the hospital one day. She was heavily sedated and hadn't woken up for days. Suddenly, she started babbling incoherently, so I leaned over and asked, "what?" She closed her eyes and smiled. "The flowers in the garden." She died a few days later.

It's quite sad recalling that time, but I really do think that these wonderful women are in a sunny garden with daisies and wild poppies at their feet. :)

cfc · 03/04/2011 20:39

This isn't near death or spiritual, but I'll tell you anyway.

My younger sister was out with friends and went back to her friend's house for a night cap. She decided to stay over at this friend's house on the couch and settled down, having had a few drinks. She awoke to find her friend's boyf molesting her and kind of scooted away from him to the other end of the couch. He was hammered and very malevolent and she was so scared but didn't want to shout or scream, she froze I guess.

I was asleep, it was very late/early in the morning, about 3 miles away from where they were, not knowing that she was out. I usually have my phone on when she was out so I could collect her if she was having trouble with taxis or whatever. But this night my phone was off. In my sleep, I heard her shout my name, first just calling me and then with an increasing sense of urgency. I snapped out of sleep and turned on my phone immediately. There were missed calls and messages from her.

I went to her straight away and collected her.

CaptainNancy · 03/04/2011 21:28

I had a near-death experience; it wasn't spiritual in any way whatsoever; it changed my life forever, in a good way.

chipmonkey · 03/04/2011 23:41

cfc, that is amazing!

iscream · 04/04/2011 09:06

I could have written Onetoomanycornettos 's post. Wow!

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