to think that just because a lot of people have it as tough or worse does mean that its easy!

[QueenSconetta]

I hope that makes sense.

I do the typical working Mum thing, up at silly o'clock, bed at silly o'clock, guilt, stress blah blah blah, like so many of us do.

Its really hard to articulate without sounding like a knob.

I have a wonderful life and am very lucky in almost all respects and it is the path I chose and wouldn't change most of it for the world (esp DD), but it isn't easy to juggle all the things you have to and to deal with the guilt. I'm so exhausted all the time and have a very confrontational job.

I guess I just get a bit fed up with people e.g. DP and DM thinking I have a super easy life and that all the organising and stressing and guilt isn't hard to deal with. And also that I shouldn't ever comment about how hard it is other than to be met with a torrent of 'well so and so has to put up with....'

Please be nice to me, I'm having a bit of a wobbly day!

Most peoples lives look easier than ones own, its a simple grass is greener thing. It's only when fuckwits don't undertand this and want medals/ to put someone else down that theres a problem*.

Keep your nose to you own and don't compare, its much easier.

*not talking about you OP.

You deal with what you're given, and yes, it can be bloody hard no matter how many kids, what job you do etc. I do agree about the guilt though, that's a wasted emotion. Is there somewhere you could cut some slack where DP could contribute more?

oh yes, competitive misery.

I dislike the "you can't moan, there are people dying in xxx"

Well yes there are and in comparison you are right i do have a blessed life, but that doesn't mean my issues are any less real and troubling for me.

yanbu

you are risking being told you chose to have children and you choose to work.... which automatically means you do not have the right to moan about the problems of working. i on the other hand have no right to moan about being a sahm because i have chosen that. (i love it but it can still be hard work)

Apparently no-one has the right to moan about their lot in life... would be nice if you are allowed to vent/ let off steam/ share experiences/ get some sympathy as it makes it easier to get on with it.

i hope you find someone in rl that can be sympathetic, we all have bad days and need support!

DP works shifts so its hard from that respect, but yes he could do more I suppose but hard to get him to do it without nagging him for about a year by which time you think its easier and less stressful just to do it myself - I'm my own worst enemy I guess!

If I have a bad day or want to have a bit of a moan, my DH says things like 'at least I'm not cheating on you/going to strip clubs/gambling away all of our money', 'at least you have a roof over your head and food on the table' etc

It drives me MENTAL - sometimes, all you want is for someone to make you a cup of tea, rub you on the back and say 'I know, but it'll be ok'.

I'm a SAHM and still have days where it all gets too much and I feel like I need a break, so I take my hat off to you. Something I've started doing is actually to not do the unimportant stuff, ie don't do the washing up, leave the clutter, sit down for a bit without thinking about all of the things you should be doing etc. It sounds like you're quite hard on yourself (as many of us are). Try giving yourself a break, though I know sometimes it's difficult and you have a million things to do. Maybe your DH will appreciate what you do if you stop doing it

NYP you have it the nail totally on the head, thank you, x.

I'm going through it all too, although as a SAHM my particular guilt is 'ooh, should DD be socialising more with other children? maybe by not being at nursery she's missing out...'

You become a mother, and suddenly you can't win. Who knew? Try to have a restful night and I hope you feel better tomorrow x

I might have a gin NYP shocker, Mother's ruin so it is, x.

Shit, I thought it was mother's helper? Maybe that's where I've been going wrong...

Lol, thank you, you have cheered me up no end :)

It's all relative isn't it. I used to think being a SAHM would be easier than working, but I've since changed my mind!

No way is easy and each has it's stresses and strains.

I can empathise with both camps having done both. The way I see it, there's always someone who has it harder and someone who has it easier.

Moan away OP, if you need to. I for one, will be listening and sympathising!

That'll be the gin

Thanks Mishy

Powerful stuff NYP seeing as I haven't opened it yet! (I'm classy me, I have it pre-mixed from a can - I do put it in a glass though!)

I agree. I work 4 days, I love my job.

I also feel guilty about leaving my DS in nursery. Then when, I'm not feeling guilty about it, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

I'm often exhausted and struggle to get up in the morning.

The house is a tip but I'm too exhausted to tackle it.

However, because we have food on the table and a roof over our heads, I never feel able to say how hard I find it sometimes.

MissMarjori - Are you me? Lol, x.