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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why men don't stay single for as long as women

15 replies

scruffybird · 31/03/2011 16:53

It seems to me,( I could be way off with this one) that men who get divorced seems to be with their next partner within the week, where as divorced women seem to stay single for a long time. Why do you think this is? Have you noticed the same?

OP posts:
southeastastra · 31/03/2011 16:54

men are less picky maybe?

grovel · 31/03/2011 16:55

It may have something to do with the appendage where men keep their brains. Just a thought.

BooBooGlass · 31/03/2011 16:55

Nope, just the people you know. Thouhg it could be that in the majority of cases, they are the ones who can live a free and easy lifestyle, and ar emore able to go and meet someone new. You try that as a newly single woman with kids.

worraliberty · 31/03/2011 16:55

No I've noticed the opposite sadly.

I say sadly because I know far too many single Mums who meet a new guy and move him in to the family home within such a short space of time.

It makes me feel sorry for the kids Sad

emsyj · 31/03/2011 16:56

Because the men were already dilly-dallying before the divorce?? Grin
Just kidding....

Maybe because they need someone to do their cooking/cleaning/washing so they fill the vacancy quick-sticks. Whereas women are glad to get a break from said cooking/cleaning/washing.

Wine
Snorbs · 31/03/2011 16:58

I haven't noticed any particular difference between men and women on this score. Some men, just as some women, can't stand being single and so will rush into any relationship rather than be on their own for a while.

LindyHemming · 31/03/2011 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic · 31/03/2011 17:12

Men are generally more needy if they have always been in a relationship, they need someone.

However, saying that there are more men nowadays who stay single and live alone than there used to be.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 31/03/2011 17:23

Quite a lot of men want a woman to service them domestically. There is a longstanding cultural expectation that servicing men is what women are for. It's one of the reasons why women are constantly bombarded with messages to the effect that being single is terrible for women, because otherwise more of them would jump at the chance not to be some bloke's dishwasher-with-sexual-orifice.

Snorbs · 31/03/2011 17:28

"If you're a single man, there are lots of nice women, or women with low self-esteem and therefore lower standards out there."

And you know that how, exactly? Have you gone on many dates with women?

I've met a lot of female losers and weirdos. Eg the ones who spend the entire date getting pissed as knickers while spending the entire evening bitching about how every boyfriend they've ever had was a bastard, the ones whose prime interest is in finding out how much money you've got and whose interest then drops through the floor as soon as they suspect you're not minted, the ones who after a single date and a polite "Thanks but I don't think we're right for each other" will then bombard you with endless texts and calls... I could go on.

Sure, there are nice women out there but I don't think they're any easier to find than nice men.

LDNmummy · 31/03/2011 17:32

There are way more women in this world than men. So they sadly have more options. And because there are less men, women are much more likely to compete and will take what they can get. Recently saw a situation like this between friends with one seeing the others ex whom she had had a serious past with.

nijinsky · 31/03/2011 17:41

In order to fit in? A bit like why they feel the need to go to football matches in groups, do male bonding over things like motor racing, etc, even when they probably aren't all that interested in it.

BertieBotts · 31/03/2011 17:45

LDN actually there are currently slightly more men than women in the world, according to the recent National Geographic survey. I don't know the specific balance in the UK though.

LDNmummy · 31/03/2011 17:50

Ah ok, of what age is that though?

Cos from what I know, men's life expectancy is much lower and at birth there are slightly more boys born but during llife more men die earlier or something.

But anyway, I think the competitive women thing still stands.

Olessaty · 31/03/2011 18:00

I dunno. I'm sure it differs down to the individuals.

When I finish a relationship, I go through a period of assessing what happened, how I feel about it emotionally, what might need to change next time to prevent it happening again, emotional growth and then I feel a need to get back to myself, remember myself and spend some time alone enjoying my own company. I don't like to carry baggage and I don't see the need to be in a relationship for the sake of it.

My experience is that the men I've broken up with like to use the next girl as a distraction to get over the last girl, to prove to themselves there's nothing wrong with them, and to get their end away to make themselves feel better. They have also played away during the relationship, so I assumed that they had a follow on already set up waiting.

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