Some advice and info needed re bullying

[slightlymad72]

Maybe not an AIBU but this forum is fast moving and usually has some good advice, which I need.

I have just received a phone call from my DS high school, he has been beaten up for the 2nd time this week, this incident is worse than the previous, busted nose and glasses, smacked around the head, etc. the school say they are investigating (won't hold my breath), My DH is arranging a meeting with the headteacher to thrash this out once and for all, maybe suggestion of police, LEA and governer involvment.

What I need advice on is my other son (DS2) is still at primary school and is now being harrased by the brother of one of the perps from high school and his merry little gang of cronies, they have seen that his older brother (DS1) is a 'push over' and think they can get in on the act with little bro. ATM is has only been verbal and bunny ears.
The primary schools policy is to consult with the teacher first and let them deal with it, which I have repeatedly done with DS1 when he was at that school, to no avail, so I am reluctant to try this method again in regards to DS2, I am thinking of bypassing the teacher and going straight to the Head, AIBU to do this or should I be following their policy?

Also what things can I throw at them to get the school to take this seriously? and to stop it in its tracks before DS2 begins to suffer physically from these nasty thugs?

I would call the head and let them know what is happening and that you are nervous. Use the excuse of the teaching likely to be teaching to go straight to the head.

So sorry for your boys

No, don't bypass the teacher - follow the protocol but they will have to resolve this incident within a certain timescale and they need to keep you informed. Make it clear to the teacher that if you aren't satisfied, it will be escalated in view of the wider implications, ie. your other son being attacked at secondary school.

You are quite within your rights to request a meeting with the governors/headteacher/teacher once the initial investigation has been completed.

Does your sons high school not have a community police contact, some do. This is not just bullying but assault. The school has a duty to ensure your sons safety whilst there. When you see the head do not be fobbed off.

You are entitled to speak to the head because if it is overspill from you older DS's assualt then it may not just be the children in his immediate class that get involved, these things can escalate.

Also what is the pastoral care like at the school, this would be more useful than the governors. The other boys should at least be excluded, most schools have an abosolute no fighting policy (If the fob it off as a fight).

My advice would not be to worry too much about protocol and other niceties but escalate, escalate, escalate..... It's what (I discovered) everyone else does after my DS had struggled for too long because I'd been following the correct proecedures. Make a nuisance of yourself, copy LEAs, demand, threaten, whatever you need to do to get yourself heard. It's the only way we got satisfaction.

Just finished phone calls to the two schools.

Secondary school is having the boy and his parents in tomorrow morning, it has been explained to them that there is a possible exclusion on the cards, its dependent on witness statments. My DH and I are going in tomorrow to see the year head, to find out what they are going to do to ensure my sons safety, as all other methods have failed. This has been going on since sept but not to this extent.

Primary School are going to have a word with DS2 to see if he can give any names if he can then parents will be contacted and they are also contacting the local police to ask them to make themselves noticable at the end of the school day.

We shall see what tomorrow brings at the meeting, but I am kicking butt now and am taking no prisoners.

Must go and meet the boys now, thanks for all the advice.