At his beck and call? Aibu?

[grinningbee]

Someone calm me down before lava comes out of the top of my head.

Dh is a self-employed car mechanic. He works about 40 miles away. Today he went in a customers car to repair, left me with ours.

Told me he would return with the car this morning, and then need taking back over and dropping off. He said he would ring when on the way so we could be waiting with shoes/coats on ready to take him back.

Today is dd's playgroup, which is in the morning, so I didn't go in order that we could be ready for him.

Just rang me to say that he won't be needing me now. So dd has missed playgroup, and we have been messed about.

I told him before ds was born that I didn't want to be the runaround any more. I don't think it's fair to drag him or dd around. Ok, it isn't everyday, and sometimes it is nice to get out. What I object to is being told one plan for the day,re-arranging mine, and then being told something different.

It is starting to happen more often.

Is it me, or would the mn jury be a bit put out too?

Unless you live in the 1950's, you are being unreasonable. A couple hours out of your day to help your DP who is self employed is part of being a partnership.

But then again I think you sound depressed rather than unreasonable.

How often do you have to drive him around?

What do you expect him to do?

He's self-employed and presumably works alone so a lot of his work will go through word of mouth. If he turns down work because he can't get there or back then it will impact financially and affect you and your children anyway.

Not having a go but I genuinely am interested in how you think the best way would be to deal with this.

Another thing, presuming your children are quite young, has he thought about how he is going to get around when you have to the school run and nursery run. You can't just not go to them or be late.

YANBU to be upset that you've had to plan your whole day around your DH's needs and then he has suddenly changed his mind at the last minute and your DCs have missed out on toddler group for nothing.
I'd have a word with DH when he gets in tonight and explain that you are ok with helping him out with lifts when its necessary but it obviously wasnt necessary today as he was easily able to make other plans when he wanted to.
Explain to him that its not fair to ask you to cancel your own plans un necessarily and to think a bit more next time before asking you to.

Honey, don't get upset.

I agree it's annoying to shelve your plans in vain, but let's look at this another way.

GO OUT, go to the play group, and tell everyone that you may have to leave early, as H may need picking up. manage the DC expectation, and they will soon get the hang of it.

Better a call halfway through a playgroup than sitting around waiting for a call that never comes with 2 bored/frustrated DC.

Tell H if he wants you, to call you on the mobile, and you will leave wherever you are and come and get him.