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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be shocked at this rihanna article

24 replies

Mrswhiskerson · 30/03/2011 18:28

Next months cover of rolling stone has on it a picture of rihanna baring her bum which is nothing out f the ordinary for her ,I have not read the article in full yet but I have read excerpts .
For example
I like being tied up and spanked I like to feel like the little lady and have a macho man.
I don't like whips and chains as you have to stop to find the whip I prefer it if he uses his hands.

I find this in a music magazine read by teenagers shocking enough but having read comments on this article by her fans the popular opinion is she deserved a beating of chris brown because she is making it public how much she likes to be dominated and spanked by men and he reason for it stems from her abusive father.
Fair enough people like S&m and it in no way means they deserve a beating but being a public face of dv then saying she loves being hit is sending out a very confusing message to impressionable teenagers and dv should never ever be glamourised . Whether she likes it or not she is a role model and sending out the message that being hit off a man(or woman) is passionate glamourous or normal is frankly disgusting (love the way you lie for
example)
on the other hand I feel sorry for her as she obviously has some serious issues and seems to be being taken advantage of by her management .

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 30/03/2011 18:32

the spanking stuff is referring to her song lyrice......sounds tongue in cheek

is rolling stone magazine aimed at teens? i have no idea.....not seen it here and i have teens

is there a link??

GypsyMoth · 30/03/2011 18:32

*lyrics

diabolo · 30/03/2011 18:33

Confusing indeed - especially as her ex (Chris Brown) was prosecuted for hitting her. Why say you like being hit with a man's bare hands?

I would hope she hasn't really said these things.

Katiekitty · 30/03/2011 18:36

Because Rihanna is a trademark used by marketing people across the globe.

She signed away all rights to have her say and be represented as she truly is, thinks and feels, when she signed to her record label.

Does she have a new record out or something? Why else is she shown as being edgy and controversial unless she has something to sell?

Horrible

SugarPasteFrog · 30/03/2011 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Mrswhiskerson · 30/03/2011 18:44

The spanking stuff isn't a reference to her song she has actually said she likes to be spanked in the bedroom to feellike a little lady with a macho man .

I read rolling stone as a teenager and because rihannas fan base is largely teenagers (and men) they will probably buy this mag because she is on the front cover.
I'm sorry I am terrible at links but type in rihanna rolling stone in google and it will come straight up let
me know what you think.

For me it really hits a raw nerve because I saw my
mum be beat up by her ex husband so many times and getting help is hard enough , having done a lot of research into dv I have found there are still too
many people who think women somehow have been asking for it so for a pop star to come along and say she enjoys being hit albeit in a consensual sex situation. Who is also a victim of dv is wrong and the wrong message to put out , not to mention the fact it is tmi .

OP posts:

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 30/03/2011 18:44

Well YANBU & YABU

Rolling Stone not a teen magazine (though obviously comments will be reported widely). Teens don't read magazines these days - teen music mags closing down left right and centre.

And her consensual sexual tastes are her business - huge gap between consensual S&M and domestic violence.

But there is something a bit porny and victim about the way she is marketed - she is not depicted as being in control or assertive in the way that Madonna was and is.

GypsyMoth · 30/03/2011 18:48

i have 2 teen girls and Rihanna is not liked much really amongst both girls friendship groups.......she barely registers,tho they like her music.

teens arent stupid....tho my girls saw me suffer dv and they dont get the chris brown thing at all. they still like his stuff but recognise what he did was wrong still. sorry,hard to explain

Birdsgottafly · 30/03/2011 18:49

She isn't glamourising DV, it's in reference to her song S&M. I love the way you lie is with Eminem who is always singing about DV amongst other unsavoury topics. Don't underestimate teenagers, these things start debates. S&M is very different to DV and that is what i've heard my own teenage daughter and her friends (mixed sex) argue the case for. All young pop stars go through a S&M and / or bisexual stage to shock. She does not have to curb her behaviour.

SardineQueen · 30/03/2011 18:53

GypsyMoth · 30/03/2011 18:54

lol sardinequeen!!!!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 30/03/2011 18:55

Take a look at her hair, it's real
And if you don't believe what I say, just feel
I'm gonna lock her up in a trunk
So no big hunk can steal her away from me

Nothing weird about that at all. totally innocuous

Birdsgottafly · 30/03/2011 19:02

SardineQueen- i was thinking more this century .

I think that she looks stunning, look at pictures of Britney, Christina and others, they have all had similar pictures taken. I just hope that what she says is coming from her and not to get publicity. It is an interesting discussion about the effect on children witnessing DV and there is research to back up some of what she claims. These things then change policy in regards to decisions taken by SS.

SardineQueen · 30/03/2011 19:14

Anecdotally though and in the OP as well the feedback is that many young women and girls think that Rhianna was "asking for it". I'm not sure how that helps anything TBH.

iamkirsty · 30/03/2011 19:23

Rihanna's hit single "S&M" is semi-autobiographical. "Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun," she says. "You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That's fun to me...I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned ? you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I'd rather have him use his hands."

If anyone's interested... Article quotes and a video of the photoshoot...

FattyArbuckel · 30/03/2011 19:25

Can't stand Rihanna - don't like her music and find her image pretty degrading

LaurieFairyCake · 30/03/2011 19:30

The onus is also on us as adults to explain the difference to teens between consensual spanking and someone hitting you in anger.

It's not a great conversation but it is appropriate when discussing different types of sex and relationships with teenagers.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 30/03/2011 21:31

Agree with Laurie - that teen girls think that is NOT Rhianna's problem to solve but our problem as parents and as a society.

SequinsAndSparkles · 30/03/2011 21:59

If all musicians were child friendly, it would be a rather boring world. I don't think its Rihanna's responsibility to be child/teen friendly, and I certainly wouldn't say that's her target audience. It's up to parents if they want to go down the censorship route.

MsToni · 30/03/2011 22:10

I am slightly bothered by her remarks.

Sexual preferences ought to be kept private.

Like it or not, she IS a role model to teenagers who are impressionable and want to be like / try out / do what these "stars" do and if she chooses to live her live in the limelight, she has a responsibility to her fans (our kids) to be a good role model.

MsToni · 30/03/2011 22:11

Excuse me, ...live her life....

SequinsAndSparkles · 30/03/2011 22:14

Well yes, MsToni personally I wouldn't want the whole world knowing my sexual preferences either. It wouldn't be my decision. But I also don't think Rolling Stone is aimed at kids? So really, they wouldn't know unless they were reading it.

follyfoot · 30/03/2011 22:19

My DD thinks Rihanna is really stupid. Cant fault her assessment really.

LynetteScavo · 30/03/2011 22:20

Now, I wouldn't have said Rollingstone is a teenage mag...I wiould have thought it was generally read by 18 +, but of course it will be accessible to younger people.

Rianna maybe not be everybody's cup of tea. personally I like her music, but find her videos boring and over sexuality.

I do love a frank and open interview with a pop star, though, and would hope any reader of rollingstone would be able to see the massive difference between consensual S&M and DV.

I think she is doing what she is told to do to make the maximum amount of dosh, and it seems to be working.

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