Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to sell our "engagement" rings and my wedding present from my (late) H?

24 replies

E320 · 30/03/2011 16:38

in a financial mess at the moment. Am just managing the regular stuff, but suddenly need a new washing machine. Will I be struck down by lightening if I sell 2 platinum rings that I bought in 1998 and the gold chain (VERY heavy) which was my H's wedding present to me when we married in 2000? To try and cover the cost?
H committed suicide in 2003, so he doesn't have a say.

OP posts:

TheVisitor · 30/03/2011 16:38

I think it's entirely your call if you don't feel that you'll regret it. x

geordieminx · 30/03/2011 16:39

Go for it.

You need a washing machine more than these.

Seabright · 30/03/2011 16:40

YANBU. You have to do what you need to, and if that's the only way to raise the cash, do it.

As an alternative, are you a member of your local freecycle/freegle group? You could post a "wanted" on there and you might get lucky

BluddyMoFo · 30/03/2011 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pippop1 · 30/03/2011 17:01

Go to more than one jeweller to sell and get quotes. Don't send stuff off in a bag to be valued.

It's fine to do that.

abenstille · 30/03/2011 17:03

SEll it if you feel like it. Take photos if you want a keepsake

Littlefish · 30/03/2011 17:05

Do you have any children with your late H? Are these items that you were planning to pass on to them?

FabbyChic · 30/03/2011 17:08

If they no longer hold sentimental value then go for it. Don't sell them too cheap, get prices from different sources first.

lubberlich · 30/03/2011 17:09

If he has kids/siblings/parents then you really need to ask his family if they mind first don't you think?

KristinaM · 30/03/2011 17:11

Why should she ask his pArenst or siblings if these items are her property?

babyapplejack · 30/03/2011 17:12

Yes, fine to sell IMO. Anyone who tackles you about it, say that they are just items and that you have kept memories and also photos.

FabbyChic · 30/03/2011 17:16

It's nothing to do with his parents/siblings they belong to the OP not another family member.

NoobyHoHoHo · 30/03/2011 17:16

Sell them. They're not doing you any good in a box in a drawer. Hopefully you'll get enough for a washing machine and a nice treat for you too.

Lovethelittlefishes · 30/03/2011 17:17

Don't ask any other family members! Don't even tell them, who needs other people getting judgy on you? These things are yours to do with as you wish.

I'm sure you still have plenty of other things (photos, a favourite item of clothing, etc) that you could keep for children, if you had any with him. If you're comfortable selling these particular items, then sell them.

But try freecycle/gumtree anyway!

Original poster

E320 · 30/03/2011 17:19

Lubberlich I bought the rings and the gold chain was a present to me for our wedding to replace one that was stolen when I travelled to the wedding. I don't think his parent has a say in any of it, to be honest. I mean the wasching machine was mine, before we married.
babyapplejack my only memories are being taken for a fool.
Thanks for ALL replies.

OP posts:

upahill · 30/03/2011 17:19

I think I would if I wsa you. Maybe hold something back if it has sentimental value but if not get shut.

Vallhala · 30/03/2011 17:22

"my only memories are being taken for a fool."

Go for it, although as others have said, put a "Wanted" post on Freecycle first.

You have no reason to feel guilty about needing clean clothes and linens.

Original poster

E320 · 30/03/2011 17:24

I don't live in the UK, so freecycle, gumtree etc. are irrelevant, but thanks for the confirmation. I am sure "H" would approve, he loved his clean laundry ;-)

OP posts:

geordieminx · 30/03/2011 17:30

Make sure you buy yourself a box of chocs/bottle of wine too.

Sounds to me like you deserve it.

Original poster

E320 · 30/03/2011 17:41

That's really sweet of you. I absolutely HATE chocolate and have a few bottles of wine in the cellar, so am covered there!
Have just had some relatively good news from my life insurance, so am much more positive, although I won't be able to do the washing machine deal until next week, now, although it looks like I won't have to sell anything.

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 30/03/2011 17:46

how about his life insurance though

Sorry for your loss.

Go for it.

HerHissyness · 30/03/2011 18:05

E320. These things are yours to sell. They are only worth the sentimental value you give them.

My 'H' bought me a ton of gold, and when he left a month or so go, asked if he could take them with him as he was short of cash. I did used to like the jewellery, but that was before I realised how awful our relationship was, the extent of his abuse and his betrayal of me. I knew I'd never wear them again, because he bought them for me.

OK so your situation is totally different to mine, what with his death and it's manner etc, but if you don't want to keep them, then really it is your decision, and your's alone.

You don't have to keep your things and your life as a shrine to him. He took his own life, he left, he bailed.

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

geordieminx · 30/03/2011 18:19

I'd still sell them and buy yourself something nice... Shoes perhaps? Don't tell me you hate shoes

fatlazymummy · 30/03/2011 18:29

If you don't have happy memories of your marriage then why not sell them anyway? Gold is a good price at the moment. If you are in financial difficulty having a little bit of money in the bank may give you some peace of mind.

Flip