AIBU to think that 9 months is a bit young to start potty training???

[Jazmyn]

My friend has just started potty training her 9 month old baby...... she's now calling me lazy for not doing it with my 8 month old. She takes his nappy off and puts him on the potty 3 times a day and tells him to "go". Personally I dont see how you can explain to a baby that young what they need to do, plus how can they tell you they need a pee or whatever when they can't talk?! Mine can't even crawl yet and has so many other things to learn before I start doing this!

Am I being lazy? Am I unreasonable to think it's a bit ridiculous???

i would nt listen to any of the advice my ds1 was three years and two months before he was reliably dry and would poo in a toilet during the day and nearly four before he was dry at night all the literary advice just stress ,s people out as for a nine month old baby being potty trained just ridiculous by the way my ten month old baby only started sitting properly last month and i was a bit worried about this but the health visitor said not to as he was doing loads of other things other babies his age couldnt do they all learn in there own time and it makes no difference trying to force them my friends daughter could barely string a sentence together at three and a half and now nearly eighteen is exceptionally clever winning all kinds of awards and had offers from oxford and cambridge

yABU.

I Can,t remember the last time dd 11months pooed in her nappy. She always goes in the toilet. I'm not potty training her, it's just that at nappy changes I,ll whack her on the toilet insert and cue her, and if she goes she goes. Why should she have the discomfort of a pooey nappy when she's perfectly capable of waiting to go on the toilet? (although, like the ops friend if she is getting desperate she can get quite upset until she can go).

Here is a bit more info taken from this site: health.howstuffworks.com/pregnancy-and-parenting/baby-health/baby-care/diaper-free-baby.htm

Q: What are some ways a child might communicate that (s)he has to go to the bathroom?
A:The ways a child will communicate depends somewhat on his/her age, but some common signs for infants are:

* wiggling or fussing
* verbalizing
* crying
* passing gas
* sudden agitation after periods of peaceful quiet
* grunting
* flailing arms or legs
* refusal to sit in car seat, stroller, sling
* signing (commonly starts after 8 or 9 months of age) ASL sign for "potty" if parents have been using the sign with their baby.

YANBU
my ex's 'darlin' mother, tried to give me advice about many things, one of these being potty training.. she was telling me about putting my dd on the potty and this when my dd was about 9-10months old!! utter nonsense. I did it when SHE was ready(at 2 1/2), and i followed professional advice which said not to force and leave it until they're aware of their bodies, can sense when they've wee'd or pooed etc. Thw whole process was relaxed and she now wees and poos on the potty.

Is your friend Caribbean by any chance? haha my ex and his family are!!(so am i, but my mum did it when we all were ready)

Learning your baby's cues isn't forcing them to do anything before they are ready.

You could equally argue that leaving a child to sit in their own shit til they're almost 4 is cruelty.

This is completely normal in much/most of the world. I was talking about it only t'other day with a Filipina lady who told me how she had started potty training each of her 4 children at 6 months and they were all dry (including at night!) by 12 months. Her children were born 1 year apart (4 in 5 years ) and like most people where she's from, she couldn't afford disposable nappies or a washing machine, so she spent a LOT of time handwashing mountains of nappies and needed the children out of them ASAP. Apparently you hold the nappyless baby in a squatting position, squatting down yourself as you do it, say pspspsps and they gradually get the idea! They soon pick up the association and will only go on the potty. As the child is too little to tell you when it needs to go, you do have to remember to put them on the potty regularly (I don't think 3 times a day is often enough - I need to wee more often than that and I'm a grown-up).

So basically, YABU, but your friend is also BU to call you lazy. :)

She is out of order for calling you lazy. Not sure I'd want to be friends with her after that.

No, Ginnifer, it wouldn't be abuse. Don't be so ridiculous and stop using such loaded and serious words to describe something that is nowhere near falling into that category.

OP, YANBU to be a bit narked, especially as she's calling you lazy! And it sounds, from the crawling/standing comments, that she has previous form for this sort of comment. If you can let it wash over you, and if the friendship's worth it, good on you. Otherwise I'd just gradually leave bigger and bigger gaps between contacts.

Certainly my nephew (SIL is Russian) was out of nappies for good at 6 months. I can only guess that she did it by some means like described above. But my lot are older, and discussing other babies' poo in broken English just hasn't been a priority, so it's destined to remain a bit of a mystery to me.