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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel upset because I wasn't invited on a night out...

35 replies

Theonlyexception · 29/03/2011 22:40

When pretty much everyone else on my street was? Bit of background- I live in a very close knit community (brits overseas) where everyone knows each other and tends to socialise together. This woman I know who lives on my street has invited almost everyone from this little social circle to her birthday night out at the weekend except me, and I just feel gutted. I know she doesn't have to invite me but aibu to feel so down about it? I'm a nice person, a little bit shy but I try to make an effort, always smiling at people and I think I seem friendly.I don't understand why some people here don't seem to like me.

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 29/03/2011 23:43

Germany is great except for all the bloody Germans :o

Jacksmania · 29/03/2011 23:43

Family joke :)

Theonlyexception · 29/03/2011 23:46

Ha, tell me about it! Grin

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 29/03/2011 23:49

I sometimes have clients who talk about their families and occasionally one will say "well, they're old and German". Enough said!

Lovethelittlefishes · 30/03/2011 00:00

Ah, OP, I really feel for you. I live in a similar situation (Brits overseas) and it's happened to me, too.

Now, I don't know the situation, or the woman involved. But here's the thing: some expats are still living in secondary school. They are trying, for reasons best known only to themselves, to divide and conquer, and to appear more popular by making other people feel unpopular. I don't know if that's what's going on here, but I have seen it a few times. Some people move overseas, lose contact with friends and family, and then seem to unhinge a bit and start doing rubbish like inviting everyone on the street... with one exception.

Here's what I'd do: DON'T avoid the subject. If the night out is mentioned in front of you, simply say, I wasn't invited. Freely admit to all who will listen that you're feeling gutted about it. You don't need to go on about it, but don't cover up your hurt and disappointment.

Because other people will start telling your THEIR stories, either about that very woman not inviting them to something, or about similar things happening to them. People will sympathise. Trust me, it has happened to them, too!

Then, if you'd like to, throw a party. And invite that horrid woman along with everyone else on the street.

savoycabbage · 30/03/2011 00:47

That's very true. You get caught up in these ridiculous high school shinnanigans.

I think Littlefishes might be right and that you should just say you weren't invited. I think that's what I would do.

MotherMucca · 30/03/2011 00:54

theonlyexception

I completely get your feeling rejected.

The bitch lady who has snubbed you is probably threatened by your wit and beauty!

Can you arrange something (not suggesting a big party, or anything to clash with her 'do'), invite friendly peeps, to help you feel more integrated?

Friendly vibes from UK :)

MotherMucca · 30/03/2011 00:56

That IS your as in "belonging to you", not a typo. (In my post.)

Jacksmania · 30/03/2011 01:53

I totally agree with lovethelittlefishes. If anyone asks you, do say you weren't invited and make it clear you're sad. Why should you hide how you feel? A stiff upper lip isn't going to help in this situation.

(((((HUG)))))

agedknees · 30/03/2011 09:14

Sometimes forces mq (married quarters) can be a bit bitchy. I can remember being the only wife not invited to someones party (dh was away in Afghanistan).

So I invited a few friends for a Chinese meal and loads of Wine. From what I can remember we had a great time (and a friend who had gone to the other party said it was pants).

Don't be sad, you are not the one with the problem. By not inviting you she has missed the opportunity to befriend a lovely person. Also agree with people who say you should state you weren't invited if anyone asks.

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