to find this really annoying

[StealthPolarBear]

If I make arrangements with my mum we can discuss something and agree a time. Then the day before she always has to check - often going out of her way to do so. Either accept that if we have arranged the time that's the one I'm happy with, or just don't bother until the night before

e.g. ringing me sounding stressed from the supermarket
"Just to say we'll see you at 10 tomorrow"
"OK, isn't that what we already agreed?"
"Yes, just wanted to confirm"

God, how intensely irritating. I think you should probably cut all contact with this toxic woman.

Is anxious about her memory? How old is she?

Nothing wrong with checking arrangements

yabu

OK I get it, I'm overreacting
and unreasonable
but irritated

my mum is a bit like this, but i taught her to text so i just get a confirmation text instead which is easier to ignore. love our mums!

50s, 3littlefrogs

No, nothing wrong, and if things were left a bit up in the air I'd do the same. But I make a point of saying now "So it;s agreed, see you at 10 on Wednesday", yet she still rings me in a bit of a panic to check. Because she refuses to believe that we can agree something and just stick to it

firsttime, she would text and then would ring 5 mins later saying "You didn't reply to my text, I knew you must be in the shops"

Agreed it can be bloody irritating (magnified by 1000 when it's one's mother it seems - personally speaking that is). Then again, if she does this regularly, perhaps she has a thing about being let down in the past - not necessarily by you. I have had to learn to live with this - the only other option was to avoid her calls and that just made things even worse.

Yes definitely magnified by it being mum
so I know IABU - if it was anyone else I probably wouldn't even notice

You have my complete sympathy, my mum is just like this, arranged last week that we would take her dad out for a meal on saturday evening as a joint mothers day and wedding anniversary celebration, i said i would book the restaurant this week. Cue phone call on monday from dsis wondering what was going on as mum had bent her ear about not knowing what was going on and didn't know whether to arrange something herself for saturday. It was only monday, i had all week to sort restaurant out, does she not think that if the plans had changed i would have informed her???. Irritating as heck, but i still love her, (most of the time).

I am in my 50s and am neurotic about forgetting things. I am welded to my diary and in a complete panic if I don't have it / can't write things down. I have a memory like a seive, and loads of stress.

I am probably like this

Ahh you're making me feel bad now
TBH though what annoys me is that I think she;s doing it because she thinks I've forgotten
If I thought she was worried about her memory I'd be less of an ungrateful bitch daughter from hell :o

Oh and since you are in your 50s I would like to clarify that I meant "Not elderly - in her 50s" :o

I'd just live with it and expect it, and pass it off as one of her quirks

There is worse.

My mum annoys the tits ofa me

grrr
she does other stuff too
but she is lovely and I feel bad now :o