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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitting

37 replies

IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 15:28

AIBU to think that if my daughter went to babysit and found that she was actually sitting for 3 families, she should be paid by each of them for their own child?

She is nearly 18 and babysits regularly for family X. On arrival at their house last week, she found she was also sitting for family Y & Z. One of these families actually live down the road and obviously had not organised their own babysitter. The other family were visiting family X.

When my daughter was paid, she was given the amount she was owed for one child.

I say you wouldn't expect to turn up at a childminder's and have them mind three children (from different families) for the price of one. Nothing was pre-arranged, she didn't even know there were to be extra children there.

What do you wise mumsnetters think?

OP posts:
MrsH75 · 29/03/2011 15:31

I think I wouldn't go round there demanding money but I do think they were taking the piss somewhat. They should have given her more money, definitely. And checked to make sure she was ok with it beforehand and that the children were too. All manner of wrongness!

gabyrale · 29/03/2011 15:32

How rude! I think that is such a poor way to behave - she should absolutely have been offered some extra money and also consulted about the fact that she would have extra children. I used to be a nanny and unfortunately this does happen but it's extremely unfair and very rude and presumtios of both sets of parents! YANBU

Hammy02 · 29/03/2011 15:33

That is well out of order. She should have earned 3 times the money. I can't imagine a childminder would mind an extra few kids for no extra money! That is totally taking advantage.

wishingchair · 29/03/2011 15:33

Very cheeky. My friend's nanny sometimes picks up my daughter and takes her to a club along with my DD's friend (who she nannies for) and I will still give her a gift/cash at the end of the term. And that is pre-arranged and is literally a 15 minute car journey - I am there at the club waiting.

They should have let her know, plus they should have paid her more ... not necessarily 3 x more (babysitting 3 kids once they're all asleep is no different to babysitting 1 ... plus I'm sure she charges by the hour, not by the number of children) ... but more.

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 29/03/2011 15:37

Extra, yes.

3x extra, no.

More to the point she should have been pre-warned and they should have checked she was happy/capable/confident to look after children from 3 separate families.

Does she even know these other children and did they know her?!

ENormaSnob · 29/03/2011 15:39

They are absoltuely way out of line and need to be called on it.

How fucking dare they take advantage of her like this.

mnistooaddictive · 29/03/2011 15:42

It depends on the situation. If they were all asleep and all she had to do was sit there in case of a problem then the same is reasonable.

Original poster
IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 15:45

Thanks. I personally think the family that actually live here, down the road, should've paid her the going rate at least, because they could have organised their own babysitter, but didn't. Why do they think they can have a 'free' sit by taking their child to a friend's house? The family that were here on holiday should've at least put something in the pot, in my opinion.

I'm afraid I told head of family X (who I work with) that it's not on and they owe her some more money. These are not hard up families, they can all easily afford a babysitter. They just know my daughter will accept what she's given and not stand up for herself. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it to him, but did ask my friend first and she was as cross as I was - sorry Blush

OP posts:
Hammy02 · 29/03/2011 15:46

Fair enough, not 3 times the money but definately a significant amount more than just babysitting for the one family. It is disgusting that she didn't even know about the additional responisbilities until she got there.

Original poster
IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 15:46

And no, she had never met the other children, who were both 12 and allowed to stay up till 11pm

OP posts:
poopnscoop · 29/03/2011 15:47

I would phone this family and tell them what they have done is totally unacceptable!

Hammy02 · 29/03/2011 15:50

Yep-ring the family and tell them.

knitpicker · 29/03/2011 15:51

I don't know - at 12 years old you are much more of a supervisor than a babysitter. No bath/ reading/ potties/ nappies etc. I have a twelve year old and he and his mates are a doddle. Essentially she was just the responsible adult in the house - 11pm a little bit late for bedtime though

wheresthepimms · 29/03/2011 15:53

I always use the same babysitter but I have 2 children away at school. When my babysitter sits for my 2 children I pay her X amount when my older 2 are home and she sits for all 4 (mainly as I don't quite trust them on their own) I pay her the normal X amount and then round up an extra hour on top for having all 4 (they are usually no bother as they are in their rooms and she never sees any of them). The first time I asked her to sit for all 4 I did check she would be OK with all 4 as there is a big difference between 2 and 4, she is still a child herself (albeit a responsible,sensible nearly adult) and I worried she would feel overwhelmed just knowing there were 2 extra.

I think they should have at lest checked it was ok in advance and given her some extra. Next time they ask I would say NO as last time you were unfair

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc · 29/03/2011 15:54

She should have been able to say it for herself though, at her age, if she isn't capable of that she probably shouldn't be a babysitter for hire.

Original poster
IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 16:00

knitpicker so you think buy 1 get 2 free is okay then?

If it were 12 year old boys, I agree that they're not a problem as they tend to do as they're told, (through embarrassment if nothing else), but it was two 12 year old girls, who stretched out bedtime for as long as possible and hogged the telly all night Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 16:03

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc - a bit unfair, she is a very nice, normal, nearly 18 year old who just happens to know this family very well and was too embarrassed to tell family X as they're friends....

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 29/03/2011 16:05

Why not ring the people yourself and say, X mentioned in passing that she baby sat more children than she normally does on Friday but when I asked if she got more money she said no, say you feel it is unfair to expect your daughter to babysit more children for the same money, and you yourself have told your daughter she is not to do it again if asked if she is not going to get any extra.

Original poster
IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 16:08

wheresthepimms - yes she has sits where some of the children are away at school and would charge the same whether they were there or not. If your friend couldn't get/ didn't bother to get a babysitter of her own, would you let her share your babysitter and expect to pay the same? Your friend then getting a free babysit?
(Not having a go, just asking Smile )

OP posts:
FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc · 29/03/2011 16:11

I didn't mean it in a nasty way, but as much for her own sake she should be able to stand up for herself if she is going to be in charge of children as paid work. She's not a child herself.
I appreciate its just not that easy, but I think you should be encouraging her to tell them herself if she was unhappy and why. Meek and mild do a woman no favours.

foreverondiet · 29/03/2011 16:12

Unreasonable to expect 3x the money.
Totally unreasonable that they didn't ask her in advance.

I think 2x the normal rate would have been fair if they were awake, but if they were all asleep in bed (so not any extra hassle) then normal rate is fair.

gabyrale · 29/03/2011 16:38

TBH if the 12 year olds were allowed to stay up then thats even more reason for her to have been consulted - she would have had to watch tv that wold be suitable for them and not been able to relax at all. YADDDNBU

Original poster
IHateLivingHere · 29/03/2011 16:40

No, I didn't really expect them to pay her 3 x the money, although a childminder would charge per family. But I do think she should have been given more than just what she would have earned for one family and I think she should have been pre warned so that she could let them know the price would go up. She's too nice/polite to embarrass herself and was caught on the hop by a load of drunk people when they came home

OP posts:
Cantgetmyarseoffthesofa · 29/03/2011 16:53

I had this experience too when I was young and didn't say anything either. Instead of the normal 4 children there were 8 and several puppies who kept weeing everywhere. They hadn't checked I was ok with it and didn't pay me any extra. I refused to babysit for them again!
In hindsight I wish I'd said something.....

rockinhippy · 29/03/2011 16:56

Extra YES, X3 no!!

We do this on occasions with a friends Babysitter, (shes a bit older & we know her too) as do other friends,

in every instance its cleared with the BBsitter in advance, to make sure she's okay with it & not just dumping on herHmm & its been an extra £5 per child on her say so - the total has always been split amongst us all the parents, so everyone s happy - she does have help from an elder sibling of the family though