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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not coping with My depression at all

6 replies

Mrswhiskerson · 29/03/2011 14:56

I know it's not an aibu post but I don't know wher else to post it.
A month ago I was diagnosed with acute anxiety and stress. And signed off work as I was being put under a lot of stress there too .
Yesterday my dh and I went to the shops my eh said it was my turn to push the pram up the hill as I was so unfit and need the excercise I'm really really unhappy with the way I look at the minute and have had body image issues fr years now so him saying that really hit a raw nerve .on the way home he asked why I was in a huff and I said because of what he said he then said I was being ridiculous so I said I never say you have a big nose (he really
really hates his nose and went through a really hard time because of it at school . He has grown into his featres now and is drop dead gorgeous but it is still an issue) the moment I said it I could have cut my Tongue out ,all I was trying to say was he could be a bit more sensitive at times and trying to use an example but he looked so hurt .
Later on he said he knew what I meant and is not bothered but I keep thinking about that look on his face and it's killing me , my depression seems to be getting worse not better and I feel everryone would be better off if I went away I'm sitting here still in my pajamas with housework needing to be done and I can't move of the sofa the fact that I have hurt my dh whom I love lore than anything feelings feels like the last straw , I don't know what to do I hate feelin like this .

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 29/03/2011 14:59

Hey, things are never as bad as they seem, send him a text and tell him you didn't mean it but what he said hurt you.

You are suffering from depression and that means that everything seems so much worse than what it actually is. Little mole hills become huge mountains that we have to climb, a straight road becomes one with curves, roundabouts and traffic lights.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down, are you taking medication that kicks in at around six weeks, if you were prescribed some and it isn't working you need to speak to your GP again. Have you tried Mental Health Forums at all? BPDworld is a really good one.

Sometimes its real good to talk so that others listen, and sometimes it is the only time we feel we are being heard.

Take care of yourself I totally understand where you are coming from. Depression is so debilitating.

HampstersDontSwim · 29/03/2011 15:00

Stop beating yourself up.
He was being a bit of a shit and hurt your feelings and you bit back.....
Not great but undrestandable.
I do hope he is not normaly this unkind to you when you are down.

Chil1234 · 29/03/2011 15:00

Everyone says things to each other without thinking it through 100%. If you're struggling to cope with the normal ups and downs of family life to the extent that you think they'd all be better off without you, then go back to your GP as soon as you can and see what they can do to help you.

GabbyLoggon · 29/03/2011 15:55

Good luck

purplepidjin · 29/03/2011 16:03

I actually had to come up with a list of strategies for my dp to use in dealing wiht me when I have a meltdown! He's a very strong, practical person so it really helped. On the list are things like:
Cuddle
Make tea/fetch glass of wine depending on time of day
Put water on so I can have a bath
Tell me he loves me

He can still get a bit snappy with me - he's never experienced it, and is very worried when I randomly start sobbing! - but a list of "things to do to make it better" get us both through the dark times.

When you're feeling calm, explain that his comment was hurtful and the "black dog" made you lash out with comments you didn't mean. Then come up with your own list of strategies for him so he gets it right next time!

A month is hardly any time, things WILL improve with the right mental attitude, strategies and meds Smile

ohhappyday · 29/03/2011 18:44

Hi Sweet totally agree (once again) with Fabby.

What your are feeling is a symptom of the illness. Meds do take around 6 weeks to kick in (wish I had know this when everyone told me 2).

Please have hope - things will and do improve.

Ask your GP to refer you for CBT. I have tried many things over the years and found this to be the only thing that really works.

If there is a long wait where you are, could you consider paying for private therapy. Believe me it is worth every penny and you cannot put a price on your health.

The priory group have great treatments and therapies. They also offer follow on support.

I also found the book Depressive Illness - The curse of the strong (amazon) to be really helpful. The author Dr Tim Cantopher done an interview on Jeremy Vine.

BEST WISHES PET - YOU WILL GET BETTER

Take small steps, try to stick to familiar routines, get outside each day, eat well, keep in touch will friends/family give yourself and treat and be kind to yourself HUGS

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