About ds going to nursery and bugs?

[Moulesfrites]

I am currently trying to persuade dh that we could afford for me to take a full year of maternity leave and go back to work in Jan 2012 as opposed to sept 2011 like we had originally planned. When I go back ds will go to nursery for 3 days a week. One of dh's argument against this is that he thinks ds is more likely to pick up bugs if he starts in jan whereas if he starts in sept he will have time to build up immunity before the winter? I think he will pick them up regardless of time of year - who is right? Should this be a factor in our decision?

He'll pick them up regardless.
Shouldn't be a factor.

It shouldn't be a factor in your decision not really, whenever he starts he is going to catch things, however if he went earlier there is less likelyhood of him getting so many when you return to work, which might result in you needed to take time off to care for him.

If he went in September he would have more time to build up his immunity.

YANBU - I think your DH just wants you to go back to work sooner rather than later for whatever reason. The bug thing is a bit wishy washy of him, lol....i am with you in that he will pick them up regardless. After all, you could argue that if you leave it till the Jan 2012 then he will be older/stronger/better immunity etc etc.......

I really dont think that bugs should be a factor in your decision!

I don't think this issue should be a 'deal breaker', it sounds as though he is clutching at straws trying to justify asking you to return to work in Sept.

I can't say that I know whether there are more bugs around in Sept or Jan, but shouldn't imagine there is sufficient difference to be noticeable.

Lots of the little ones will have siblings who start school in Sept, so more bugs will be re-circulating?

As the others have said it doesn't really matter when you put your ds into nursery as he'll catch what's going around anyway. And its lots throughout the year. So tell your hubby to keep his holidays saved up this year becauce you'll both need to take time off to look after ill child. Statutory rights to look after ill child is frowned upon to take in my line of work at least!

Doesn't matter when he starts he will pick up bugs, way it goes I'm afraid. My DD started nursery in September aged 2 and was off for most of her first couple of months with various things, including swine flu.

Also agree, regardless when your ds goes to nursery he will pick up everything going. Mine has had 2 doses of norovirus in 3 weeks, a chest infection, to many coughs and cold to count and a dose of conjunctivitus thrown in for good measure. She has been at nursery for less than 4 months.

It feels like shes at home more often than she is at nursery and DH and I have had to take loads of time off work to look after her.

Make sure you have an understanding boss because you will need to take time off to cover illness!

He will be in contact regardless.

Iirc swine flu was more prevalent in summer than the winter.

"Bugs" don't only exist in nurseries - they are in supermarkets, libraries, everywhere ... assuming you don't intend to swaddle your kid in cotton wool and never let it out, then this whole daft bug thing really shouldn't be a factor in your decision making.

I was in the same position last year, very fortunate to have agreed a whole year off for mat leave, the whole of 2010 ;-) so what we did was put DS in nursery from November one afternoon a week until I went back in Jan and he now does 3.5 days a week.
He got everything to start with which was a pain as I had an afternoon to myself a week then the rest of the time dealing with the snot he had picked up at nursery!
However the big advantages were that when he went to 3.5 days in Jan he did not then pick up every bug that was going and he was also used to the nursery and well settled (I put him in a couple of full days in Dec to get used to the routine of a whole day) and he was fine. And I got all my Xmas shopping done in peace!

Can you agree something like that with your DH where your DS could go for an afternoon a week before a few weeks before January if you can afford it?

DD started nursery in September. She picked up a couple of minor colds. Then in December she caught RSV and ended up in hospital for 3 days. I do not know that she caught the infection at nursery, it could easily have been from anywhere else, but the babies are in very close contact with each other in a nursery.

It does not matter when they start, they will pick up an amazing number of bugs for the first couple of years.

I don't think there's any way of knowing. My arrangement was very similar to brizzagirl's - we started transitioning in November for a January return to work. He was generally hale and hearty, barring one episode of conjunctivis.
This month, however, has been horrendous. Dh and I take it in turns to take time off and we have had at least one day off a week EACH this month - norovirus, chest infection, conjunctivitis (again!). And apprently chicken pox is doing the rounds at nursery (sigh).

I don't agree that they will catch the same bugs in the community as easily - ds goes to many groups and we are very much "out and about" on my days off. However, every illness he has had since starting childcare seems to follow a mass outbreak of that illness in nursery (which is near dh's work, in a different county). When you are in the community with your child (especially your pfb), you tend to keep their hands clean and keep an eye on what they are picking up and eating off the floor/stealing of other children's food and drinks/what they are slobbering over and what they are playing with that another child has slobbered over. I'm pretty laid back but I assume that I am still more cautious than your average nursery worker who is also trying to do a number of other things with a range of children.

They have a veritable petri dish of cross-infection ball pool and a soft-play area in my ds's nursery. I thought they were a charming feature when we looked around

They definitely pick them up regardless and normally until they're around 3yrs old.

I think you should take as much maternity leave as is viable. You'll never ever get that precious time back with your baby.

Getting ill is how we develop an immune system. If your baby is ill it is much better to not be at work so you can care for it and not feel absolutely cream crackered at work. If you breast feed your baby you continue passing some immunity to your child as you feed.

However it sounds like your DH is worried about money. You need to work out how you will afford the extra time versus the costs of sending your child to nursery. My DH was appalled when he realised that we would end up worse off if I went back to work!

I'm presuming this is 9 months vs 12 month old, yes?

IMO, that's a hard age to start nursery and those three months won't make much difference bug wise. He'll be at the age when he'll be crawling all over, putting everything in his mouth.

I do think there is an element of truth in what your DH is saying. IME there ARE more bugs around in the winter - we're all just closer together in a warm environment. September can be lovely so the children will be outside more. Having said that though, I really wouldn't base my decision on when to return to work on that alone because you really don't know.

If you are breastfeeding that will help. If you can find any way to afford it then take your year. You won't get that time back again. The extra 3 months will make him bigger and more able to fight anything he picks up.

It all seems rather doom and gloom here regarding bugs. FWIW DS1 didn't catch anything more than chicken pox his whole time at nursery. DS2 had a couple of grim months, but touch wood has been fine for months and months now.

Lubberlich I disagree. Sure, bugs everywhere, but environments where children are in close contact are notorious for the quick spread of them (nurseries, schools).