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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

long journey with PIL

25 replies

raindroprhyme · 28/03/2011 19:25

AIBU to not want to travel 6 hours in convoy with the PIL to our holiday destination. We wil have 3 DS's aged between 10 and 18months and they will have 87 year old granny?

I feel trying to go in convoy with all the stops for young and elderly is going to stress everyone out.
PIL are all hurt feelings.
I just want to leave a day early amble down and stop at a premier in type place and have no pressure to get anywhere by a certain time.

OP posts:

frazmum · 28/03/2011 19:32

I wouldn't worry - as you will unfortunately have to stop unexpectedly to let the children run around/go to the toilet/have a snack and sadly won't be able to catch up with them until the evening .

Plumm · 28/03/2011 19:34

YANBU - what a silly idea.

Original poster

raindroprhyme · 28/03/2011 19:34

but thats the thing they would stop too, then granny would need the loo cos she won't remember we stopped 20 mins aqgo for her to go and it will turn in to an almighty stress fest of everyone waiting for everyone else.
Arghhh

OP posts:

GoldenGreen · 28/03/2011 19:34

YANBU. Why add to the stress? I think they will just have to have hurt feelings!

cherrychoo · 28/03/2011 19:35

Its doable, we did it with ours to Orlando.

I didnt kill or maime any of them

ChessyEvans · 28/03/2011 19:40

Could you perhaps think of the journey itself as part of the holiday so it's more like a day trip? You could potentially plan stops in advance, say every hour? Am only pg myself so don't know if that's even possible or if you're likely to need emergency stops. But you could agree in advance that you will meet at certain services / pub for lunch as a compromise? And if you want to break it up with an overnight stop then you could agree that with PIL too? Travelling literally in convoy may well be a bit stressful unless it's totally motorway all the way and you can just crawl in the inside lane.

Or hire a massive motor home and all go in one vehicle?!

PorkChopSter · 28/03/2011 19:40

Oh no, it's not just the stopping, it'll be having to overtake at the same time next and that's just stupid. They are harking back to some pre-mobile phone era.

Mind you, it'd set you up nicely for the rest of the holiday

ENormaSnob · 28/03/2011 19:44

Yanbu

it sounds hellish.

Why do they want to do that?

marzipananimal · 28/03/2011 20:02

I personally don't think driving in convoy is very safe - you're more likely to make a mistake on the motorway if you're trying to keep up with/wait for someone
But even if that's not the case YANBU. Sounds like a silly and pointless idea. What's the benefit?

Original poster

raindroprhyme · 28/03/2011 20:08

Exactly porkchop Fil will toot behind us to let us know it is time to overtake.

Planning stops is useless granny will need as many unplanned stops as dc so we will be lucky to get 30 minutes of continous travel.

DH spoke to them about it this morning and they went in the huff so we will see what tomorrow brings.

Chessy this why i want to just tootle down the road on our own so it is just a day trip type event without PIL huffing and puffing about not getting 'there' on time. (for the start of our holiday?)

OP posts:

ENormaSnob · 28/03/2011 20:10

Are you holidaying with them?

If so, I pity you if they are sulking over this.

FabbyChic · 28/03/2011 20:12

IF your DC's sleep you will want to keep driving as long as possible, I vote for the driving down the day before and staying overnight in a hotel.

Tell them that is what you are going to do.

ChristinedePizan · 28/03/2011 20:14

My parents tried to do this with me once. I told them in no uncertain terms that it was dangerous (and it is!) and I wasn't prepared to risk DS's life for some bizarre notion that it is somehow more companionable to do a long drive when there's two lots of people in different cars.

parakeet · 28/03/2011 20:17

Put your foot down for Gawd's sake. Explain that if children are sleeping/happily amusing themselves, you dare not waste time stopping because that's what suits the other car.

Or just point out it's unsafe and unnecessary.

Original poster

raindroprhyme · 28/03/2011 20:19

We are holidaying with them but in seperate cottages and they are having my older two DC in their cottage so will be fine. They are great grandparents and really hands on with out interfering.
It is just this travelling malarky that has upset the apple cart.

i think they are stressing about granny too cos the last time they did this journey Granny ended up in hosptital for a week on the way home. MIL DB needs to be visited though so poor ancient granny has to come!! That is a whole other AIBU.

OP posts:

FoxyRevenger · 28/03/2011 20:21

They will toot to let you know it is time to overtake?

Are they mental? Who gives a shit when you overtake?

Do it your own way. Don't give in to the madness!!!

chipmonkey · 28/03/2011 20:27

Oh nooooo! I remember MIL trying this on with me when we were travelling to BIL's wedding and that was only 1.5 hours away. She was driving up with the priest and wanted me to follow with the dc's. I said no because I hadn't fully packed and wanted to be able to go up in my own time when I was ready. Can't remember where dh was but think he was doing rehearsals as he was the best man. Anyhow, I got my own way but she did sulk!

squeakytoy · 28/03/2011 20:35

I would suggest you go down the night before as planned, stay over in a travel lodge or whatever, and they can meet you there, and then finish the journey together, arriving at the same time. :)

dreamingofsun · 28/03/2011 20:37

not sure what your FIL's drivings like, but it was stressful going in convoy to our local town. FIL hangs so far back that at least one car always pulls in between and then you have to go really slow to let them catch up.

also i agree its dangerous. you should be concentrating on the road ahead, not behind to check where FIL is, especially in a foreign country and driving on the other side of the road.

does your husband and FIL drive at the same speed? otherwise its a recipe for disaster. are they worried about getting lost maybe? do they have satnav or could they borrow one?

KatieMiddleton · 28/03/2011 20:45

Will you be on CB radio too?

It is a nonsense idea which probably harks back to the 70s when Uncle Fred had the map and your dad drove like a loon to keep up and you hung over the gear stick to wave at your cousins as they bounced up and down, in the boot with the parcel shelf taken out, waving back.

Not something people do these days.

2rebecca · 28/03/2011 21:22

I wouldn't do it and would just tell them you'll meet them there.

starfishmummy · 28/03/2011 23:33

We did this once. Parents in front car, then us and finally my brother & SIl at the rear. Mad really but no kids involved and not a very long journey. All went reasonably well until parents took the wrong turning. We carried on the correct way and as soon as we could we stopped as did brother and we waited ages for them in a lay by, but in the end just had to carry on. THey were ages behind and thought we were unreasonable because we hadn't followed them the wrong way.
Can :o about it now though!

shelscrape · 28/03/2011 23:40

YANBU. I would not do this for an umber of reasons....

PIL sound a bit conbtrol freaky with this
It is just utterly daft
This plan is a huge road saftey hazzard. it will piss other drivers off too. when you are driving you need to concentrate on the road, other traffic and the position of your car. You do not need to be looking our for PIL's car, listening out for their signal's etc. No don't do it. Refuse to do it on the road safety issues.

2rebecca · 29/03/2011 08:18

Agree with Shelscrape's reasons,especially 1 and the fact that they have "hurt feelings" about you not wanting to travel in convoy for 6 hours would make me worried about how often the "hurt feelings" are going to be trotted out over the holiday.
Deciding to feel hurt when someone doesn't do something your way is very manipulative.

Sushiqueen · 29/03/2011 08:26

YANBU - I have done this a couple of times, once with my parents to France and once with In Laws.

The journey with my folks was fine, we agreed a speed limit which my dad and I kept to. We both had maps and agreed if we lost each other we would meet up at certain points.

The journey with my in laws was only about an hour round the M25. I ended up doing 45 in the slow lane being over taken by all the lorries waiting for them to catch up with us, as they don't "do fast". The DSS thought it was hilarious. Never again.

i would go down early and meet them there.

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