...to think my db hasn't considered hiswedding guests at all

[spongefingerssavedmylife]

Having his wedding in France on a Monday,it is such a slog to get there + time off work. Apparently we are the only people with DCs, they are invited but not to the church or evening recepetion (fair enough, I think children at weddings are A Bad Thing).

He doesn't seem to realise that this makes it pretty tricky for us to go though!dh will basically be stuck in a hotel room and I'll be feeling like billy no mates at the reception (rest of family on top table, not me though). Or I go on my own, but I really don't want to leave the DCs, wouldn't mind if it was in the same country but I hate the thought of not being able to just get in the car and drive home if I needed to!

I would really have appreciated it if they had made some sort of 'here's the phone number for a babysitter' type gesture!

Just a bit argh really and don't know what to do.

The last wedding I went to was in Italy my MIL and FIL travelled with us [we paid] and she looked after the DC, the Bride was lovely and invited them to the meal and then they went off with the DC to a theme park could something like that work for you?
We flew cheapo airline and budget apartment [cheaper then a hotel] and the weekend was our summer hols but PIL had 2 nights and 1 day to theselves and the took DC for wedding day and night until the following morning.

sponge I doubt he means any harm - I think it's quite common for people to get wrapped up in their plans and think 'ooh, it'll be a lovely holiday for x' rather than 'oh, darn, x will have to sort childcare, transport, amuse her kids while we're in church ....'.

It's a bit annoying, but I'm sure it's thoughtless rather than mean or deliberately unreasonable.

My brother genuinely thought I would like nothing better than to fly out of the country not once but twice in ten days, take four 2-hour train rides and leave my husband alone over Christmas, so that I could get to all three of his wedding celebrations. When I write it down it looks the most awful self-centred thing ever but it wasn't, it was just not well thought through, just like this.

Your brother probably thinks it will be a lovely holiday for you and the kids - maybe you could try to demolish that idea?

My guess is that your future sil has made the decisions and that this is low on her priorities.
If poss you need a face to face meeting with both bride and groom to sort this out.

I'm with ENormaSnob - I wouldn't go. It's really not fair on your dh and dc. What does your dh think by the way?

I would tell him you can only go if your children can join you for the full day, due to childminding. I'm getting married this summer and would not take offence, it is rather obvious that you cannot leave children and DH on their tod.

Haven't read all replies, but surely you could just organise a local babysitter? I have never had any dramas. I find that hotels/cottage rental companies etc are generally very helpful at recommending a well regarded local sitter/agency. Otherwise just get on google - you're sure to find something.
I would expect you DB to pay, but that might be pushing your luck!