In being scared about a foreign teenager staying with us for a week?

[krepsly]

DS has been invited to do the German exchange. He's 12 but his partner is 14 and he would be staying with us for a week. I have no confidence with other people's kids and I'm so scared about agreeing to it!! I'll be a nervous wreck but then I don't want to spoil DS's oportunity to travel to Germany for a week!!

AIBU in being a bit nervous about it all??

Our exchange students were taken for fish and chips and were not expecting such big portions!

krepsley You're alarmed about the responsibility but the staff, at the host school and from the German school, are there to help if there's any difficulty and you'll be given contact phone numbers. But really he'll be in the house relatively little because of all the arranged activities. Don't worry.

Also, ours ate any bread but were particularly pleased with bread rolls.

aldi sells German stuff dunnit ?

I know they sell proper bockwurst anyways

its an exchange. they are meant to see how you live. and if they hate it, its only a week. i remember being given oysters and artichokes by my french exchange family. I hated it then but love them now.

Yes, they should experience our food but for a 14yo away from home for the first time, seeing a familiar breakfast table can make a big difference.

I was 19yo when I moved to Germany as an aupair and it took me weeks before I could choke down some breakfast cause it was so unfamiliar (and I was incredibly homesick)

I have a 12 year old who has been invited on a French Exchange. No way am I sending a 12 year old to live with a family that I have never met before! I wouldn't let him have a sleep over in the next village without knowing and liking the parents.

I was 15 when i did a German exchange. That is young enough I feel.

I agree with MmeL - I had a horrific German exchange (sorry, don't want to put you off) because I was faced with ham amd cheese and this weird bread for breakfast. WTF? thought my totally unprepared 12yo self. It got every day off to a bad start.

In contrast my French exchange, even though she was a bitch, was much easier because the breakfast food was more familiar!

So breakfast would be my big tip. Aldi/Lidl will have familiar stuff and you can always have it in sandwiches if they want to be adventurous.

I am sure that the school will have vetted the accommodation Alouiseg, my DS went at 13yrs and his exchange was 12 when he came and they both had a great time-I'm glad that I didn't hamper DS by being over protective. He didn't get the opportunity later. From my point of view it was much easier having an almost 13 yr old than an older teenager.
I would have been upset if I had sent my DS to France and his hosts were finding him English food-it misses the entire point!

No, there is no "vetting" of the host families nor are we "vetted". It is based on "good faith" between schools and is a long standing exchange.

I would rather be considered over protective than place my child in a situation he may not know how to handle. It seems crazy that in these times of crb checks for everyone who spends any time with children we are expected to be be blasé about shipping a child to a foreign country with an unknown host family when the child doesn't speak the language anywhere near well enough.

in this instance I am more than happy to be considered over protective.

12 does seem quite young but the younger the better for language learning

I do think it is quite contradictory to be so stringent about CRBs for clubs/coaching etc but not bother when a child is spending a full week or more under someone else's roof.

I remember an 'uncle' who stayed at my exchangee's home some nights, and finding a condom in the bathroom!

All quite shocking for my innocent eyes.

Most schools seem to stick with familiar partner schools so that the UK staff know the German staff well. They know the potential pitfalls and pupils are told roughly what to expect. Therefore the German boy won't be altogether surprised not to be presented with cheese and ham for breakfast and such like. German boys are omnivorous anyway!

In return, DD's partners' parents have been kind and hospitable. Her only difficulty was getting them to speak German as they prefered to practise their English.

I had some misgivings about hosting an 18 yr old boy as partner for my 17 yo DD. He turned out to be drop dead gorgeous but they both felt they were proxy siblings and it all worked out very well.

Both times I had the impression that the schools had gone to some trouble to match the partners so that they had similar interests and abilities. DD's female partner could have been her twin and they got on like a house on fire.

My younger sister did this with French, Spanish, and German students and it was all fine.

I'd say, don't go and buy 'German' stuff for him. Rather, give him good-quality traditional English stuff. If you think he might not like breakfast cereal, what about nice-quality sausages and eggs?

And think of a couple of local places you can take him. He might like to go to a film in English, for example, or to some local attraction. But if he's anything like my sister, the biggest bonus will be just hanging out with your DC and friends - my sister's French improved dramatically just from chilling out at the local arcade and speaking naturally with other kids.

I do not give my students any German food,they are here to live as we live and i havent had any trouble with that at all. Most of them will eat anything going [ except garden peas ] You should be able just to carry on your normal way of life and just cook what you normally have in your family.

You will find they are incredibly busy with school and organised events and pretty tired with having to contend with the language too. I agree it's nice if they can have access to a computer, IME the kids don't want to spend every second together, it's a bit of a strain. The more things they can do with the rest of the group the better.

I'm sure you'll be fine, you don't actually have to do much apart from feed them, be nice to them and maybe take them out at the weekend. At 14, the german child should be more than capable of communicating with you. My german exchange was one of the best experiences I had through school. The only downsides were:

1: My dad displaying a spectacular lack of cultural sensitivity by turning into Basil Fawlty and goose-stepping round the breakfast table. To this day, I have no idea what he was thinking. Luckily my 14 year old exchange partner had bonkers parents too, so she was well equipped to politely deal with him.

2: Quite a few of the other students (both english and german) were fussy eaters and whinged constantly complained that they were starving. I ate just fine but my mum had given me the "You will eat what you are given and say thank you" talk before I left.

My partner was dead easy to get on with and more than happy to fit in with what our family normally ate/did. She and I are still friends 14 years on, and learning German has had many positive effects in my life.

Arf @ Basil Fawlty!!! Dh,s welsh grandma refused to leave the bedroom while the German exchange students were here on 1985!!!

She "couldn't forget the war".