Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is not the way to treat old Servicemen and Women.

18 replies

MissusF · 28/03/2011 18:16

My 83 year old Dad, is being awarded his PJM Medal Tomorrow.

He is so excited, and got out his suit, and other medals.

He then was told by the powers that be, that he is not allowed to wear his other medals.

That he has to pay for lunch at the hotel, and he has to contribute £10.00 towards the hire of the Hotel Room, the ceremony is being held in!

Is this really the way that he should be treated.

There cant be many still alive to recieve it (he wont be given one for Mom, who died 20 years ago, they both served in the 50's in Malaya, in fact met and married there.)

Surely it could have been paid for?

(I have actually paid for it, but not everybody has somebody who can)

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 28/03/2011 18:24

which company/person/body is arranging all this?

Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 18:26

I dont know Tiffany, he has no paperwork, just had a phone call, telling him where and when.

Its in Salisbury.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 18:30

He did have paperwork in the beginning, had to fill a form in, but dosnt seem to have any about the actual award ceremony.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 28/03/2011 18:32

It doesn't sound right at all. :(

MrsSchadenfreude · 28/03/2011 18:36

There is no permission to wear this medal, no. But it's a matter of etiquette, not a legal issue. If he wants to wear it he should go ahead and do so. I don't know about the presentation ceremony and costs - I think he could have asked for it to be posted to him.

The reasons for non wear are very complex and due to "double medalling." (Your Dad would have received a British medal for the same service.)

Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 18:44

I have just rung the Hotel, to confirm it is definitely one, they have said yes, and that people have already arrived for it. (I am taking him there in the morning)

But there is nobody from the organizers available.

MrsS, the question of not wearing the medal, was that he is not allowed to wear his other medals tomorrow. (and yes I can understand about double medalling, he has got a British Medal).

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 28/03/2011 18:59

Why can't he wear his other medals tomorrow? Is this something that the organisers have said?

Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 19:05

Yes MrsS, was told not to wear them, I am just waiting for him to arrive at mine (DH gone to get him as was finished earlier than me)

Dad lives in Weymouth, me in North Dorset, the Ceremony in Salisbury, so was better to bring him this far tonight.

OP posts:
lazarusb · 28/03/2011 19:10

Bless him. I too think this is a shoddy way to treat ex-service personnel. 'We'll give you a medal you deserve but only if you contribute towards it' Hmm I still hope he has a wonderful and memorable day however and it hasn't soured the occasion too much for you either of you.

Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 19:14

I think it is a very shoddy way to treat him (all of them), he served in the RAF for 30 years, did more than his bit. Two of his sons followed in his shoes (one tonight stuck in Afghanastan, should of been home Saturday, so cant accompany him)

He will love it thoGrin He is hoping he might see some faces he knows, as dosnt get the chance to chat about old times much.

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 28/03/2011 19:28

It is a shoddy way to treat ex-service people.

It says that the veterans had to fight to get the medal but it doesn't say anything about the organisation who did this or who is arranging the ceremony. Presumably a charity was set up or it was run by volunteers but they wouldn't have spare money to pay for lunch or hotel costs so who else can pay for it?

Sorry if I'm being ignorant as I really don't know about these matters but I'm just thinking practically.

Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 19:47

Veterans UK were the people that we sent everything off too, and as far as I am aware they are the people organising tomorrow.

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 28/03/2011 20:12

Let him have his day.

But afterwards, write a letter expressing your feelings about the whole thing...

No, it is not right at all - hire of hotel! Shock

mpsw · 28/03/2011 20:38

I hope he has a wonderful time, does meet up with his old mates and realises how very grateful so many people are for what they did.

I've looked at your link, and it's to Veteran's UK which operates as an arm's length agency of MoD. They seem however to be signposting to National Malaya & Borneo Veterans Association (NMBVA), who co-ordinated the issuing of the medal. I'm not sure whether they are a charity or not, or what funds might be available to them. It might be worth trying to find out for sure who has done what parts of the organisation of this event, before you taking it up with them (if you decide to do so).

On a general note, there is a lot of support for former service personnel if you know where to look. It might be too late to find coverage of costs for this event, but the relevant Benevolent Association may be able to help with grants. A good first port of call is SSAFA

Original poster
MissusF · 28/03/2011 20:42

mpsw, am seeing SAAFA on Friday as am organizing an event for them (DH is serving) so may well have a word with them.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 28/03/2011 21:33

He might find some of his old friends here:

www.fight4thepjm.org

sweetgilly · 28/03/2011 21:35

MissusF

YANBU, that is disgusting.

Bringonthegoat · 28/03/2011 21:48

YANBU - they deserve more than a ceremony, we owe people like your parents so much.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread