We've been invited to close friend's (of my dp's) wedding on ds's second birthday and it's a no children invite. We rang the groom to say that we're sorry, we wouldn't be able to come as we wanted to spend ds's birthday with him, and he said to bring him then, we want you there.
I felt uncomfortable with this as I don't want other folk who have had to leave their kids at home to feel put out. And I don't want him to spend his birthday somewhere innaptopriate. I'd rather celebrate it with him. But equally I do not want to upset my friends.
The wedding's couple of hours away, but not impossible to go along in the evening. So we thought about it and said we'd just come along in the evening. Since then though the bride to be has texted my dp to say that her dp is upset and can we reconsider? She wants us to do something with our dp in the morning and come along for the meal at 4pm.
So now my dp wants me to spend the morning with my ds, drop him off at babysitter's after lunch and go to the meal onwards. He says he thinks I'm being selfish, that ds won't care about his birthday and that our friends will only get married once. The thought of leaving my boy without us in his birthday makes me sad, I don't want to do it. But dp says that I'm thinking about myself rather than our friends or him, and he personally wants to do both and go for half the day.
I feel really sad now. I don't want to upset dp, or our friends, but am I being precious by not wanting to be apart from ds on his birthday. I've offered a compromise that dp should go on his own if that's what he wants to do, but he's still fed up. I was trying to think positive, and even though dp wouldn't be there I was thinking of doing a birthday tea for ds with friends, but dp says he wouldn't want me to do that without him there.
Not sure what to do now!