in not taking ds to teacher parent meeting

[brimfull]

as suggested by school
I would rather talk about him without him there
he's yr 3 btw

Your call, but I found it useful to have my dd there and not relay the entire conversation back to her.

As a teacher I much prefer talking to parents without children there. Much easier to speak to them about concerns without the child in question listening.

we arent allowed to take the children to ours

Febreeze, why would you relay the entire conversation back to your DD?

The request that we don't take ours DC, and this year supplied a creche for those that couldn't get care. Unfotunately, the creche finished at 6.30 and my appt wasn't until 6.40, so was sat with the kids anyway! Didn't have a choice

WhereYou Left It What a strange question. It directly concerns her, of course I am going to relay her strengths and weaknesses, areas she needs to work on, her teachers perception of her attitude to learning. Do you keep it a secret?

really? DC's school suggest they should not be there. If they are, one of the TA's will supervise outside classroom for 10 mins while parents are in there.

Of course we tell DC what their teacher said (or edited highlights, at least) but the conversation is a lot easier, and quicker, without them there.

I think it's valuable not to have the child there - it means the teacher can be honest about negative things without upsetting the child, and can be honest about positive things without it seeming to be jus tbecause they're in ear-shot.

you only need to relay the important things, like general opinion and specific things that need working on/that stand out as good

At my son's primary we are requested to take the children with us. I wouldn't if there was a concern I didn't want my child to hear my discussing with the teacher, but up to now there hasn't been any such issue. I have found it very positive for my son to hear praise straight from the teacher's mouth with us there, as well as discussing areas he needs to focus on.

Actually, as I teacher in KS2, I quite like having the children there. It shows them that we are all working as a team to help them, but I understand if the parents would rather not. If there are behaviour issues, having the children there is even more important IMO, as it means they have the chance to give their pov at the time and not distort things at home!

I teach also and I leave it to parental judgement if they would like to have their child there or not. There is nothing that I would say to a parent that I wouldn't be prepared for the child to hear (although I may of course use slightly different terminology).

Febreze, relaying the entire conversation I had with a teacher to a Year 3 child (as in the OP) seems complete overkill to me. And that's before you have to decode what is said in officialspeak into plain English. I think the editted highlights ("they seem broadly happy with you, but you could be a bit less chatty when you should be getting on with your work") was enough to put on him at that age.

Our school encourages children to come along, but I prefer not to. I want a frank chat about some of the issues worrying me, or problem areas, not all couched in nicey nicey language. Me and the teacher can then, if necessary, put this in a softer way to the child. I have certainly had conversations with my children's teachers which I wouldn't have had with them present.

I hate the thought of having my DC at a parents evening.
I've never done and I don't think it is appropiate.
I prefer a face to face with the teacher covering their points and my points about my child without them being there.

Horses for course and all that but with things that have been discussed over they years I am glad that I made that decision.

NU at all, I prefer to go without DCs. At primary they aren't allowed whilst at secondary the norm seems to be to take them along. I went without DC1 this year and was definitely in the minority.

I prefer to be able to speak frankly to a teacher if necessary and feedback at the level I think is appropriate.

At our primary school the DC can go if they/parent wants. As the DC got older - from Y3 or 4, we have found it useful to talk with child and teacher about strengths, weaknesses, targets, etc. The child needs to know that you are all working together and everyone needs to be clear about how well they are doing and what they need to work on next.

As a teacher, I feel it is fine to have them there or not. I will change my style of talking slightly if they are there, but I don't want to have any secrets from anyone.

However, if there is a private matter that parents want to discuss separately - not just how they are doing in class - I would always be happ to have a confidential meeting.

I never take my kids after a incident years ago.
My eldest (18) is high functioning autistic and his year 2 teacher described him as slow unteachable mess with no social skills. My son burst into tears and i just got up and left. i was that angry i was speechless.
Since then i go alone.

Bizarrely that bitch is the only teacher who gave a bad report. She was also apparently rather rude to an Asian mother later in the evening and funnily she didn't return to teach in the new term

Wow Forever. She said that and accused him of lacking social skills????

That remimnds me forever
DS was in about year 3 and at parents evening she said (in a tone that she was sucking on a lemon while sat on a nail going up her arse) ' Ah yes( name) what is he good at? His writing is appaling, his spelling is atroucious ( a bit like mine at the moment ), his motor co ordination skill are bad, he can't skip. At this point I exploded! I won't go in to detail here but I'm glad to say she left the school soon after.

However if my DS had heard that it wouldn't have been good for him.

I agree, upahill and forever, I would NEVER say anything like that in front of a child. You have been very unlucky and I am glad to hear that in both cases the teacher left soon afterwards.

And i must say that every other teacher evening has been fine. I always see her as a one off nut case and to be fair the school was absolutely on my side and horrified

well have been without ds
teacher was much more animated about what ds gets up to in class ,both positive and negative things
we both laughed about how different he is in class to how we know him at home
of course I came straight home and told dh and ds ,ds thought v. funny

much better than ast time when ds sat there shyly

I never went with my mum and never take DS1.