to think I did the right thing and she was U and rude?

[twilight3]

was babysitting for my nephews ex-wife on Friday all day as she had job interviews to go to. Took her 3yo to nursery in the morning while she was getting ready and then went back home to stay with 2yo who has chicken pox.

Nursery was already informed about me dropping off/picking up and when I arrived in the afternoon with 2yo in a pushchair I stayed OUTSIDE, in the garden, waved at a member of staff who saw me through the window and they brought 3yo out to me. All good until a mother marched up to me and started barking about me bringing a child with chicken pox to nursery etc. I was so embarassed I just ran away, but I think I shouldn't have (although I didn't want 2yo around little kids any more than neccessary)

Was I BU? He's not infectious anymore, but that aside, what do you do? Leave him at home? I DID NOT go in any closed spaces, didn't let him touch anything, just walked into the garden. Could have walked past the garden with the same effect.
What do other mums do when in this position and noone to leave ill child with for the pick-up?

you kinda answered my question tumble. so if you're immune (3yo had it a few months ago) you can't carry it.

I don't know exactly that you can't carry it - I mean it depends on how long it lasts outside the body - but if the 2yo had snottered anywhere near the 3yo, the virus could have been on his clothes/ hands/hair, and he could have transferred them to other DC - will have to check on the viability of the virus away from a host.

But certainly he wouldn't be anything like as contagious/infectious as he would be if he were in the incubation period of CP himself.

well the only things I can see suggest that the virus doesn't last very long outside the body, hence host-host transmission is the usual way of infecting new people. But then that poster above did mention that she caught it from talking to the dad of a child who had it, so perhaps sometimes it can last long enough in an immune person's airways to be passed on.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chickenpox/Pages/Causes.aspx

I think the only extra thing that I would have done would have been to put a rain cover on the buggy.
It's very difficult for a stranger to see if a child is indeed crusted over and therefore no longer infectious and the woman in question may have been unlucky enough to have previous experience of some of the nastier complications of CP.

I wouldn't quantine a sibling who was not ill. But I would keep a sibling home if that was the only way of keeping a contagious child at home.

If the 2yo was not contagious then (as previously said) it was fine for you to take them. And the nursery was confusing the issue and making things awkward for you.

Alemci - you ask 'would it have been so awful if one of the children had caught it?' Well - yes, it might have been. Children can die of chicken pox - it's rare, but it happens. Chicken pox is thought to be responsible for one-third of all stroke cases in children. According to some american statistics I found, chicken pox has a mortality rate of 0.00002% in children under a year and 0.00008 in infants - very small, I do realise, but children have died of complications of chicken pox.

Or a child might have caught it and whilst infectious but before the spots showed, could have infected a pregnant woman, possibly causing congenital defects, such as:

Damage to brain: encephalitis, microcephaly, hydrocephaly, aplasia of brain

Damage to the eye: optic stalk, optic cup, and lens vesicles, microphthalmia, cataracts, chorioretinitis, optic atrophy

Other neurological disorder: damage to cervical and lumbosacral spinal cord, motor/sensory deficits, absent deep tendon reflexes, anisocoria/Horner's syndrome

Damage to body: hypoplasia of upper/lower extremities, anal and bladder sphincter dysfunction

Skin disorders: (cicatricial) skin lesions, hypopigmentation

Before 20 weeks pregnant, there is a 1-3% chance of the baby developing such complications if the mother gets chickenpox, and this percentage falls after 20 weeks.

If a baby is infected late on in pregnancy, or when newborn, this is neonatal varicella, and can be a severe infection - it can cause pneumonia or other serious complications.

absolutely the best thing would be for all to stay at home, but in the luck of willing childcare (i have to admit I'm too old for two toddlers all day) someting's gotta give.
I think the nursery acted on the mother's request, but I'm not clear on that.

It's just that she had already postponed a bunch of job interviews because of the chicken pox and had to find another day during which she'd be able to organise them all -in the same day but different hours, so I know she had a bit of a nightmare. Bless her, hope she gets a job...

Tbh given that you seem clear that they weren't contagious then this is a non-issue and the woman should have kept her mouth shut unless she had good reason to think they were contagious.

OP was being more than reasonable, IMO.

They do have to come into fairly close/direct contact, so 2yo in buggy, away from toys and other DC, is an absolutely minimal risk compared to the fact that said child was presumably in nursery before spots emerged, when he was infectious, and also presumably might well have picked CP up from nursery in the first place.

I am thinking back to what I did when DD had CP and DS was at school - I think I left her in the car, but I had that option because the school is a safe place to do that - not many are. I did come close to having to cancel DS's birthday party, but in the end (with the support of MN) instead contacted attendees to warn them, and everyone came anyway because they had all had it (and no pg mothers).

I should have said that, as you stayed outside, OP, I think you did the best you could in the circumstances, and the mother who approached you was very rude.

that's pretty much my point, that she shouldn't have assumed that I am an incosniderate and uninformed idiot and only if she had good reason she should politely say something, not try to vocally remove my head off my shoulders, esp in front of the kids

no, 2yo not in nursery, got it from his cousin. The nursery is 500 yards from home and parking there is a nightmare, so they normally walk it, as I did today.

Didn't think of the raincover, but then I know he's not infectious. Good idea though...

Staying David tenants girl have things changed then because in the 90's most people wanted their children to catch it as at some point most kids get it. there was the cliche about chicken pox parties. Is there a new immunisation against it.

I do take on board what you are saying though. I was just relieved when mine got it at the same time when young. My DH caught it at 28 when i was pregnant with my dd and was very ill and i had it when i was 12 and i think my brother was 9. we were off school and i remember my parents took us to MFI. don't ask me why

According to the NHS website:

Exposure is being in the same room as someone who has chickenpox for 15 minutes, or having face-to-face contact with someone who has chickenpox.

So you were not putting any of the nursery children at risk, providing they weren't coming up to the pushchair.

YANBU

YANBU. The rude Mum who had a go just showed her ignorance. Both mine had CP last year and my GP said its non contagious 5 days after first spot has appeared. However, my DS2 still LOOKED really contagious even though he was OK to be around.

really, 5 days? I thought it was contagious while there was still puss in the spots. According to this little boy's mum poor soul had pussy spots for about a week and a half

the 3yo in the nursery would have been carrying the CP virus anyway, so why is this other Queen for a Day worrying about a 2yo at the gates?

Twilight3- That's what my GP told me. Funnily enough, another GP at the same practice said 7 days after the first spot.

Queen of the CP links I am

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chickenpox/Pages/Prevention.aspx

How will manage for a babysitter if her 3yo now has it. She might have you but other parents might not have alternative child care. How do you know that none of the nursery staff or mothers are not pregnant?

OP has already said that 3yo had it a few months ago...

So... in the scenario that you have older children, possibly at a crucial time in their school career... you'd keep them home if you were the only one about to do the school run?

Really?

I made a mistake in my earlier post - the mortality rate from chicken pox in children under a year is 0.002% and in infants is 0.008% - the website I got the info from said 2 in 100,000/8 in 100,000, and I thought it would be better expressed as a percentage. I worked it out as 0.002%/0/008%, but checked it with a calculator and got the numbers I used - many apologies everyone.

And my dad used to be Head of Maths at a High school - he'd be so ashamed of me!

Do you know what? It's chicken pox - not anthrax!!! Yes, there can be rare complications with all diseases, but that's what they are - rare! How many people walk around, unknowingly, with something contagious?

They were BU - you had no choice and did what you could to minimise contact with other people at the nursery.

There would be far more risk to the children in the nursery from an asymptomatic child who is incubating the virus than from any child sitting outside in a pushchair however infectious that child may be.

If a child in nursery has chicken pox it would be a great deal more effective to close the whole nursery as a precaution than to ask someone not to bring a toddler with the virus into the garden. It clearly isn't reasonable to do that so it isn't reasonable to say the child must be kept at home.