to think he should stay home?

[glub]

my dp went out friday night, i went out saturday night (a rare thing for me) then sunday i figured we should spend together. he went out. only a couple of weeks ago he had plans to be out three nights in a row - i mentioned it might be a bit much and plans changed. but now it happens again.

also, aibu to think he CAN see his friends when he has the kids. i mean i have to! he says they do stuff (like drink or play computer games) which they can't do when the kids are there. but aibu to think he should use his imagination and find something new to do sometimes? and he uses this as an excuse to go out for the third night!

:(

So, you've given birth twice to this man, you've been 'together' for about a year, he only moved in about three weeks ago and he prefers to go out with his mates. And you don't talk, but try and influence his behaviour by making sad faces and sulking?

Are you sure you are actually in a relationship?

i don't she gave birth to the man twice

and i agree wit hyou, too, actually.

OP - you really do need to talk to him.

'with' rather than 'to' just seemed a bit of astretch here, nickelbabyhatcher. :) :(

where you left it - yes, we are in a relationship. the 'sulk' was a private moment of sadness, not an attempt to influence his behaviour. your assumptions are getting out of hand. yes we have been a couple for a year. i don't know about you but most people tend to want to think their relationship will last before moving in with them, especially when there are children involved. given birth 'to' him? :O. the children have in fact been a joint effort and he's been great throughout. is this the famous mumsnet judgeypants thing going on?

the living together thing is very new for both of us. but we have had a good chat last night and things are on their way to better :)

glub

I think some of the comments have been due to your less than clear communication of your situation. If you had been more upfront with the details it might have helped posters give more useful advice.

"i don't know about you but most people tend to want to think their relationship will last before moving in with them, especially when there are children involved."

I don't know about you but most people tend to want to think their relationship will last before having children. Just a thought.

Don't own any judgypants btw.

most people tend to want to think their relationship will last, and move in together, before they have a couple of kids actually :)

just my old fashioned views though maybe.. :)

i didn't think i had to post my relationship history to post an aibu. things just took a turn.

and yes, tis quite clear that most people do do things that way. there is a reason for it after all. aren't they sensible and organised. well done them!

those of us who do things in a less conventional manner don't need to have all kinds of assumptions made of us

some assumptions are clearly true though, hence your really quite severe problems.

certainly not judging, OP.
just want to make sure you're happy. :)

thank you nickel. but oh my god florence!!!!!! cos people who do it the conventional way never have problems... lol

who said that? You can't complain with your "oh you're so mean, making assumptions about me and my family" when it looks as if those assumptions are directly related to the issue you are posting about.
If you don't want opinions, don't post, its not rocket science is it? Or find somewhere they'll only answer with "u no ur man n bubs hun"

hi glub - it's clearly not helpful people telling you that you have done things in the wrong order, not everyone does & you need to deal with your situation as it is.

I've been through a similar situation - had kids young and my partner did got out a lot & we did have a lot of arguments. over time things did get easier - being forgiving of each other does go a long way to help. generally giving ultimatums is a bad idea, explaining how you feel/talking lots is a better one.

hope things do get better for you

oops, meant partner did go out a lot