AIBU to be expected to read minds

[ChablisLover]

Hubby came home from Mums yesterday in foul form.

I had stayed at home to attack the cupboard under the stairs.

It only came out at 4 o'clock (after many arguments) that his dad (who was diagnosed with cancer last month) is going to see about Chemo.

In the ensuing time all hell broke loose cos he was in bad form, picked on my attempt to tidy under the stairs and me and didn't tell me about his dad.

AIBU to think if he told me the whole day would have gone better and I could have been the loving supportive wife he needed.

Hmm, can see where you are coming from, but guess that he is so torn up about his dad that he is not thinking right.

Maybe cut him some slack, and allow him to work through it?

No, not mind reading.

But your DH had gone to see his family, you know there's been a recent cancer dx, and he comes back in a terrible mood. I don't think it takes mind-reading to realise that there may have been further developments (the chemo) that have unsettled him and to have been supportive anyhow.

Wishing you well through all this. It's not easy to deal with serious or long-term illness.

YANBU so many arguments could be prevented if there was more communication :S

Thanks

We have been through serious illness before with my Mum last couple of years.

Apparently I am not being as supportive as he was and am giving him additional stress through me hating my job and apparently spending too much money - according to him anyway.

I am being supportive - I am arranging solicitors (is asbestos related), filing in forms etc - letting him lie in at weekends cos he is stressed at work as well.

ChocolateTeacup - I agree - if he had said his dad had appt today for chemo when he came in rather than just laying into me about state of house etc (he expects it to be show house - we have 4 year old and tells me I am not houseproud - is hard with DS) I would have understood - instead he tells me house is a mess and what had I been doing all morning - sorry but also made lunch, hoovered, washed floors, did washing etc.

Really wish I could scream out loud - but in work and it may cause a few funny stares. but then again where I work people barely speak to you anyway.

Am so frustrated -he refuses to see he could have prevented it all by telling me.

Whilst I totally see where you're coming from, it sounds like he's really upset and lashing out as a result, not great when you're the one being lashed out at but you probably need to cut him a bit of slack.

In the meantime I hope you find somewhere to have a really good scream.