Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I've made a massive mistake?

13 replies

magickcat · 27/03/2011 23:50

Hiya, I posted a few days ago as I was having a wobble about moving house 5 weeks before my due date.. Well we have moved in and one of the major things that was worrying me before was that I hadn't seen any children around the new house at all. My dd is almost 10 and the area we are moving from has lots of young families with kids and she has lots of friends to play with who are the same or similar ages. In the summer all the kids play out and while in a fairly built up area, have a green in front where they all play.

The new house is in a much posher area and all the neighbours are older people and there seems to be no kids at all nearby. Ive literally not seen a single child around here at all. I am so gutted and angry with myself for not checking before deciding to move and I can't get past this or stop thinking about it. I also feel a bit intimidated by the neighbours and area and feel like we don't fit in here at all.

Each time I've been back to the old house and seen all the kids out playing I've cried my eyes out. I've tried to get a grip today as I realised I was putting a huge downer on the new house for dh (dd is at her dads so hasn't been here) but I feel so guilty and feel like I've just taken away all dd's friends just at the time when she really needs them. I am obviously going to invite her school friends over but I feel like I've made a massive mistake moving here and want to cry every time I think of it. Even to the point where I am glad we've only signed a 6 month contract so we can move again then. What do you think? Is this just a case of weepy hormonal pregnant person overreacting or have I really ruined everything?

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 27/03/2011 23:52

Of course you haven't ruined everything. Your dd will have friends over and playing on the street is not essential for happiness! Enjoy your new home, relax and look forward to the new baby and then see how things go. You do sounds a bit hormonal atm.....

Cloudbase · 27/03/2011 23:58

YANBU, but you are also probably being a little bit hormonal too. You're daughter will be fine. Presumably she will still see all her friends at school every day, and the older she gets she will be able to travel and see them on her own more and more.

Moving is a very big deal, especially when you are pregnant and have a lot of other things to think about and are probably feeling very tired and emotional anyway. Don't feel bad for feeling upset, you've got a lot on your plate. It's natural to feel homesick at any age, so just give yourself a big hug.

Give it a month or so, and you will probably feel a lot differently - it will start to feel like home. All I would say is maybe not let your daughter cotton on to how you are feeling - if she picks up negative vibes from you, she is more likely to feel that way herself. Try and present a positive front for her if you can, and I'm pretty sure that eventually you will feel that way for real.

You will soon get to know your neighbours and your new neighbourhood, and at some point in the future (sooner rather than later hopefully) you will wake up one day and realise that you are home!

MaisyMooCow · 28/03/2011 00:07

Your dd will probably be so excited at the arrival of her new brother or sister and that will keep her occupied.

Now the weather is getting warmer all the kids will come out to play !

Skinit · 28/03/2011 00:11

Ah don't worry! Your hormones are playing tricks on you...is there a school nearby? If so then then there will be kids out...just when it gets warmer.

Where I live there seem to be none out atm but I know they'll pop out in a month or so...and if thy don't...it's fine! My kids only have one other kid to play out with and they're just fine! They have mates over from school to play...your DD could join local clubs like Guides or Youth Club to meet other local kids.

Where I live is slightly posh too....and some parents wont let their kids out....send DDout on her bike and I BET some kids appear.

They're like magnets to each other.

Skinit · 28/03/2011 00:13

You feel like you're saying goodbye to a part of your DDs history...and you are...but only to move on to a better one! Lifes like that...you move on sometimes and it's good!

Go easy on yourself...dont worry.

Smile
Original poster
magickcat · 28/03/2011 18:17

Thanks so much for the reassurance and kindness, I'm putting a happy face on for dd and dh, hoping that this will pass as we get more settled. Will find out about local kids clubs etc so she can make some friends nearby, and I'm hoping that there are kids who are hiding till it gets warmer! I still feel like it was a huge mistake moving just now but I suppose being 8 months Pg and feeling extremely hormonal may be affecting my perspective somewhat.. Cheers for the words of wisdom! :)

OP posts:
Skinit · 28/03/2011 21:36

When I was 9 months pregnant with DD2 I was CONVINCED every other Mum at DD1s school hated me....I now realise I was suffering badly from baby induced oddness...not ONE of them hated me! Grin

Give yourself a year or so....you'll look back and smile.

SlightlyJaded · 28/03/2011 21:46

They will appear.

Unless you have moved into a seafront bungalow in Worthing, there will be a community of children, schools and playgroups. They will all be revealed to you in due course.

The neighbours seem hostile because they are strangers. There will be some lovely ones - law of averages says so.

DD will make friends at school.
You have a lovely new house
In a posh area Grin
Enjoy it!

SmethwickBelle · 28/03/2011 21:50

Aw, our road is full of old codgers and it makes for a lovely safe environment for children to be in. Many of them always keep an eye out and are so pleased to stop and chat to the kids. I honestly think children like that, it makes for a community feel to a street. I am sure you can make up the sociable aspect in other ways if it is needed but don't worry about that now.

I am as certain as it is possible to be through the medium of the internet that if all else is positive this is possibly a hormonal wibble - you are looking to make sure that everyone is OK before the baby arrives, anything different to the norm is going to jar right now.

Mapley · 28/03/2011 21:53

I moved a couple of months before giving birth to ds, and felt the same as you! I would say it's hormones.

ramblingmum · 28/03/2011 22:04

If the houses in your new area have (bigger) gardens then kids may not be as playing out on the street as much, as you may not have seen then.

SlightlyJaded · 29/03/2011 12:18

ramblingmum

Good point!

worraliberty · 29/03/2011 12:24

You must be hormonal.

Having no kids to play with in the street isn't going to ruin your child's life. There could have been loads of kids but your child might not get on with them.

Just invite school friends, that way at least your child will actually have chosen them.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread