for not going there today

8 replies

twinkytonk · 27/03/2011 15:23

It's my godson's birthday today. I would love to go and give him his birthday present but there is one thing stopping me.

His mum. We used to be the best of friends but after I had my ds and developed PND she did nothing but shit on me. She would arrange to meet then give some crap excuse and cancel constantly leaving me sitting on my own once again. We fell out (after we had arranged for her to look after my son while I worked, she cancelled the day before) and after a while made up again. Only to have the same thing happen, her slagging me off behind my back and breaking arrangements.
The end of it was when she ignored me because I wouldn't take my son to toddler group. Hers had chickenpox, all the other children had already had them but mine, I didn't want to take him.
I had enough and deleted her from facebook (we hadn't spoken for a month despite seeing each other at group every week). She went mad and accused me of being stuck up and slagging me off again. If she saw me in the street after she would drag my godchildren away from me!!

Anyway fast forward to now, almost a year later. I just don't want to go to her house and would feel two faced by being nice to her when I have no intention of being friends with her again. Dp and my ds are going instead. He thinks I should just go but I really don't want to. If she weren't there then I would but she will be.

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cherrychoo · 27/03/2011 15:27

Well to be honest i wouldnt want to go either and probably would not.

I cant stand a bad atmosphere and if you are likely to have words or just be funny with each other its not fair on the children is it.

You may have to write it off as a friendship but keep up with the Godson stuff.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 27/03/2011 15:27

That is a really difficult situation. I would send a present, though. Also, as his godparent, maybe you could consider opening a savings account for him and putting a few quid in it every month to give him when he's older? That way he will know you were thinking about him growing up, even though you weren't having contact with him.

worraliberty · 27/03/2011 15:32

I'd just send a card with some money.

Why is your DP going if she's treated you like that? My DH would rather eat his own shit I think.

Original poster

twinkytonk · 27/03/2011 15:32

cherrychoo that's exactly how I feel, I don't want bad feeling around the children. As you said it's not fair on them and the atmosphere would be tense.

bornagain Thats a lovely idea thank you. I may just do that for the both of them (she has a daughter who is my goddaughter too).

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FabbyChic · 27/03/2011 15:35

I wouldn't go either, some things you cannot forgive, and the slagging you off behind your back is enough to warrant not going to her house.

She isn't a friend at all but a nasty piece of work.

Original poster

twinkytonk · 27/03/2011 15:35

worraliberty he has know her husband for a long time, been one of his very good friends for about 15 years. He doesn't want to break that which I can understand.
He does hate her with a passion though and if it weren't for her husband he wouldn't be going over it would be going through the post!

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worraliberty · 27/03/2011 15:38

I'm surprised he didn't post a card and go for a drink with him away from the woman...anyway YABU I certainly wouldn't go.

Original poster

twinkytonk · 27/03/2011 16:11

me too, he likes to go and see them though!
Nice to know I am NBU he kept asking me to go!

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