AIBU to get upset about this? or am i just pathetic.

[CheekyLittleSox]

I have posted this in Chat, not a lot of responses but wondered what the AIBU tribe would think.....Maybe i need a kick up the arse to not let it bother me.

Just wondering because it was DS2s birthday last Sunday he was 3yr old.

When it was DS1(4) birthday in September my mum bought both boys a present - the same thing just different colours - each costing £9.99 - i know as seen them in the shop she bought them from.

MIL sent down (lives on Isle Of Skye) a £25 cheque for us to put in DS1 CTF account.

FIL bought both boys same things but different colours characters etc etc (always get them both something for each others birthdays, always have)

My dad bought DS1 a farm set with animals, tractors etc etc Dad also said for DS2 birthday they had got him a construction set in the same form as the farm set and i know this because my first initial reaction was 'oh great more little bits to dig into the bottom of my feet blush''

DS2 birthday comes round,

Mum buys him a peppa pig felt sticky thing costing £2.99 - nothing for DS1

Dad buys him clothes (which i'm grateful for as he needs them) and a Fireman Sam Fire Engine which is good - no little bits laying around.

MIL sends DS2 down a £10 Scottish note.

FIL - not been in touch AT ALL!!

Why cant people treat my children the same?!

DH has texted FIL to find out if he was coming over on the Sunday for DS2 birthday and no reply. DH said 'his whole childhood was like that so don't expect much from him' but hes never been spiteful with the Grandkids.

Mum had DS2 for the first time over night on his own for the first time ever because she wont have him as she always said he was too young - even though she had DS1 from a young age and he wasn't too young then for her. Now shes had him, she said she was very naughty, in which i heard about some of the things he did which i don't know why he was like he was because on his own at home he is generally a good little boy and you don't know you have him.
He wasn't sharing his toys with baby cousin, he was climbing shelves he dropped a whole bottle of T-Cut down him and it smashed on the floor - in my response to my mum telling me this - why was a bottle of T-Cut in reach of 2 toddlers in the back garden

AIBU to let it upset me?

Sorry its long.

Re the nappy thing...no I'm just saying I would feel 'icky' changing a nappy of a 3yr old so I can understand where she was coming from...though she was very rude in how she expressed herself.

they knew he was still in nappies at night time before they went and i told them that he holds his poo in until he has a nappy on for bed.

Its the fact that my DS1 got a £25 cheque for his CTF. not the note itsself.

I think it was lovely they took them on holiday too. You sound a bit ungrateful to me.

im not ungrateful, this isnt about the holiday - im grateful for my dad to take them i really am. But its the OP im talking about. Leaving DS2 out.

Have you asked them directly? A simple 'is there any reason that you are treating the boys differently because they have noticed and ds2 in particular is very upset because he thinks that you don't like him' and seeing what they say...

Then work out the different routes the conversation could go and your responses to each so you can get them to agree that they will tart the kids the same.

I think you are taking things a bit too much to heart, and looking for things to feel put out about.

You say they favour ds1, but then you say that ds2 got extra presents on ds1's birthday. They didn't buy anything for ds1 when it was ds2's birthday. Perhaps they aren't counting every penny as you are. Or perhaps they are remembering that ds2 has already had some lovely presents on his brother's birthday, so buying him a little something for his own birthday. He is only just three after all, and I don't suppose he is as aware of the cost as you are.

Also, it does sound as though he is a bit of a handful. Which is fine, but one quieter child is very different to two children, one of whom is climbing shelves and smashing bottles. And they had a baby to look after on top of that.

It sounds as tough they do a LOT for all their grandchildren, and instead of feeling lucky you want more. And instead of being mortified that he was badly behaved over the weekend, you are sceptical, unsympathetic, and critical (angry about the t-cut in reach).

YABU